Today, I had a nice, open chat with my mother. I accidentally let slip that I'm a nymphomaniac. She accidentally let slip that my dad is bad in bed. I don't think either of us will be chatting so openly for awhile. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
Today, I have accidentally encountered my parents having "sexy time" four times in the past week. I'm an adult. My parents are in their fifties. Their bedroom door doesn't fully shut, so I always get an unpleasant glimpse when I walk past, occasionally punctuated by my mom's pleasured moaning. Kill me now. FML
Today, I was having the "sex talk" with my mom because I really want to have sex with my boyfriend. My dad overheard us and is sulking. The only reason he hasn’t said anything like, “I’ll kill the boy” or, “Not until you’re married” is because he’s scared of my mom. Now everything is awkward at home FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me "I wish my sex life was as interesting as yours." She had walked in and we hadn't even noticed. FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML
Today, I accidentally sent a screenshot of my Tinder conversation to my mom, instead of my friend. Yes, it was dirty. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML
Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML
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Top comments
MetallicaRules19 4
"ILL KILL YOU AND EAT YOUR FIRST BORN CHILD, if you dont tell me
weemcgreeger 1
no one tell him
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Comments (138)
Zandesh 0
google is your friend..
ladiiie_dreamer 0
hahaha datz funniiie..
ChiefLancaster 0
Hey there, whats your number?? I can fix your moms problem, then maybe we can fix your problem???
sarahgrossi 0
lol my lil sis is farting in her sleep :{
phoenixfire555 0
Moral of the story nothings wrong with being a nymphomaniac lol.
Culnamo 0
I'm still wondering how a person "accidentally" lets it slip that they're a nympho...?
ChangMu 8
You don't accidentally let that slip to your mom. You just like sex. We all do, sweetie.
varunp111 0
What's nymphomania?
capslockisgood 19
How??
allymacaulay 3
I would definitely use that against her when I wanted to get my way.