Today, I got stuck listening to my coworker bang on about how sexy her fiancé is for almost an hour. She told me about their sex life, described his dick in great detail, and showed me pictures of him shirtless. My coworker is 49; her fiancé is 56 and overweight. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I overheard my husband of 3 years talking to our boss, an attractive blonde. She was telling him that she couldn't believe he was with me. She thinks I'm fat and ugly and that he's hot. He said, "She's not that bad…" We work in the same store and she follows him around like a puppy. FML
Today, I got paired up with a coworker for a three-month project. All he talks about is how attractive my girlfriend is and what he would do with her. FML
Today, I discovered that my male coworker, who coincidentally shares my last name, has been telling everyone we're married. I'm 26; he's 58. FML
Today, I met a new guy at work who wouldn't stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six-hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me that he was her husband. FML
Today, I found out that I work with a bunch of sex addicts. One of them is my cousin, and she did NOT hold back when telling me her and her fiancé's plans about swinging. FML
Today, I listened to my best friend describe having sex with her boyfriend in explicit detail. This would have been fine, but her boyfriend is my little brother. FML
Today, I got off early from work to catch my wife screwing her co-worker in our bed. I ask her what I did to deserve this. She told me she was “lonely” and that he “always makes her feel like a woman,” unlike me. She would come home from work and I would initiate intimacy, but she would decline every time. FML
Today, my wife has been super into sex lately, she even let me try some of the stuff she said no to before, and even surprised me with some of the kinky stuff she’s always wanted to try. Sounds great, right? Nope. Turns out she was overcompensating from the guilt of also fucking my coworker. FML
Today, I found out my most attractive co-worker has a crush on me. I'm 53. She's 16.. FML
Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML
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Top comments
oliviarahhxoxo 7
hotttt...
ammmeor 4
at least she didn't show pictures of his dick...
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Comments (245)
oliviarahhxoxo 7
hotttt...
SuckItTrolls 7
You're not hot.
worldcupcheer17 0
who wouldn't be jealous of that fat sexy man?
PageantGirlXOXO 16
very sexy...mmm
OWNZ 0
MAN BOOBS FTW!!! Very sexy! ;)
JoHan55_fml 7
agreed ^^ sooo freaking sexy!!! ahh
wintamint101 7
can i be her??!!??!
AlexRen 21
that's freaking Sexy,(;
randiZ25 0
ah yes, the convenience of being able to share a bra with your man would be appealing to almost all women.
gertyygirly 4
Tell me about it! We can splurge and go to Victorias secret but still split the cost!!
KingGeorgeGal 12
Why didn't you just ask her to stop?
omgwtfbbq69 5
F her life!
CCrunner2 0
I'm jealous
kyarush 10
LOL... rough
iSlappedCupid 0
Hhmm EXTREMELY hotttt =)
shannonreneee 11
I think it's sweet that she loves someone that isn't classified as "attractive" on paper.
NurseBitch 5
Yeah... but if OP's fiance is not a KY Thoroughbred, that's still something to brag about.
squishy01 0
Mmmm… hot rolls... whoops! I mean Fat rolls.
powderpuffjord13 0
ohhhhh yeahh now thats what I'm talkin' 'bout! ;)
YDI__Bitch 0
only in America!
MrFlintstone 5
io like them big I like them chunky
nahgemoohc 17
ahhh, yes...love is blind..
manMadeFAIL 7
like peter girffen said " fat sex is great"
Newboyz00185 0
..... Lemme go change my underwear..
Altosax 4
hey if she thinks that's sexy, good for the both of them.
Pomno 0
I seen that episode!
wtvr 2
that doesnt mean they can't have a fulfilled relationship and a great sexlife does it...
zachgriggs13 0
Hey
avanth 2
1st!poor you
xxsarahfxx 6
Well we all like them different? :)
sns_fml 0
I'm mr bucket put your balls in my mouth!
imnotcraZ 0
you watch raywilliamjohnson!!!
Lumenoire 0
She likes big butts, and she cannot lie.
uncleyuggles 0
^but she adores them on a guy
icrest80 4
Penis
Earth_Bound 0
My mom is49. My dad is 56..... And overweight
Jess1008 4
gross! tell her to stfu
MrSassypants 34
Why would "saving the flying unicorns" solve anything?
Lauren10102 3
what doesn't "saving he flying unicorns" fix?
RetardedBullFrog 4
If she went off to "save the flying unicorns" then the OP wouldn't have to listen to her talk. FML for the unicorns though, they would have to listen to her.
jakeisawake 3
Yeah, you should have described your, "I don't give a ****" impression in great detail.
hook_em 0
no no mrsassypants they are not "saving the flying unicorn" they are specifically "scratching from unda-cheese"
MrSassypants 34
10 sounds nice, ooooo.
lovelaughing101 1
that's what I would do! I don't need to listen to things I really don't want to hear...
fmyli 0
i just might puke now...
KingGeorgeGal 12
I bet they are hairy.. even better!
00SPRANGER00 0
moobs FTW!!
ammmeor 4
at least she didn't show pictures of his dick...
dakotasgirl00 2
Very true.
saga_darlin 0
CHANGE UR ******* PIC
HouseKeeping 0
It's a cat. You asshole.
saga_darlin 0
who are you his body guard
saga_darlin 0
dont ******* get emotional you ******* dick head.its not like i said anything bout your ******* pic soo shut your mother ******* mouth before i start on you.you piece of shit
HouseKeeping 0
You just can't stop getting moderated can you?
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
What did saga_ say? I can't read it cuz it's moderated. Pls fill me in :)
EatnBeef 7
apparently not haha. gotta love trolls
Garyy_fml 11
I love assholes that first make an FML account and thing they can curse and troll all they want. There's mods and rules that must be followed.
ym5 0
house keeping that's a cool owl
daniel1991 0
maybe op didnt mention that part XD
saga_darlin 0
sorry about everything i said before i was only playing.anways nice picture ; )
saIty 17
She wants you to admire his manboobs.
WCARlover 35
moobs!
Yocomedy12 0
I believe you mean moobs, good sir.
enonymous 9
Can I have his phone number? I was sold at 56 and overweight
lilmisslovely13 15
You know, I was thinking that this really was an FML until I got to the part about 56 and fat. I'm incredibly jealous of OP and OP's coworker. ;)
ThorneCrossed 9
get in line, those moons are mine
ksib 0
you know u like it lmao.
Justforlolz 14
Suggest very casually that she invest in glasses to help her see better.
nerdchic 5
so you have to be young and fit to be loved? nothing wrong with that.. and op didn't have to listen.. this isn't really a fml...