Today, I got stuck behind a guy riding his bike 20 mph below the speed limit. I honked, cursed, screamed, and yelled, before finally managing to overtake him. Once I got home, I went outside to get the paper, and discovered that the biker lives just two doors down from me. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was stuck behind an elderly man on a one-way street into my university campus. There was no traffic in front of him and we were both going under the speed limit, so I honked my horn at him to speed up. He ended up double-parking in the last two spots. FML
Today, the car in front of me was going slow and I flashed my lights and honked. I floored it and passed the car, flipping off the driver. Just as I went around the next corner, I got pulled over by a motorcycle cop. A few seconds later, the guy I flipped off drove by honked and waved. FML
Today, I had a “Fuck you” shouting match with a guy who'd tailgated me in the slow lane through an active school zone. I flipped him off when he finally passed, which admittedly wasn’t my best move. He ended up beside me, windows down, where we verbally sparred like teenagers in a dick swinging contest. Regrettably. FML
Today, I was looking at the map on my phone whilst walking down a street. I heard the sound of a bike behind me so I moved to let the cyclist past. He snatched the phone out of my hand and sped off. FML
Today, some aggressive asshole was tailgating me on my way home, bumping into me twice. I got scared and kicked my car into high gear and got out of there. Seconds later, a traffic cop came out of nowhere and pulled me over for speeding. FML
Today, I missed my bus. I had to ride my bike 2 miles. Once I left, some jerk nearly hit me. I flipped him off and shouted obsceneties. It was my dad, offering me a ride. He left. FML
Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML
Today, I was screamed at by a lady for riding my bike too slowly in front of her car. I was in the bike lane, and so was she. FML
Today, I thought nobody was around so I meowed loud as fuck but actually there was some dude right behind me on a bike. Yeah, I know that's my fault, but… FML
Today, I rode my new bike for the first time. I made it less than 100 feet from my driveway before I was almost flattened by someone driving on the wrong side of the road. Upside: I managed to get out of the way. Downside: I did it by slamming my brand new, expensive bike into a wall. FML
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Top comments
plutosaplanet 0
i beeped at people as they pulled out of my condo complex almost hitting me. i dont care where you live, if you drive like an idiot im going to let you know.
music_girl23 0
"i honked, cursed, screamed, and yelled"... holy crap. calm down. maybe you should look into anger management programs... he's on a bike what do you expect.
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Comments (79)
luckyducky123 0
Okay, it depends. If the bike was a normal bicycle, then he deserved it. Why the hell would you do that? However, if the bike is actually a motorcycle, then FYL. I don't blame you for doing that.
spicyfiregal 0
For the record, bikers can't always go the speed limit.
AVainAttempt 0
other person: Today I was minding my own business, riding my bike home. A little farther from home a car tried to run me over as the driver cursed and yelled, it was my neighbor FML
lilbyrd43 0
Soooo......basically you wanted to be a gangster driver, and turned pussy when you found out, that was your neighbor? Well ain't you just the brightest light on the Christmas tree
blastvortex 4
Did it ever occur to you that he might've done it just to annoy people?
macs4evr 7
Particularly the assholes who treat us like bikers have no rights
erikeet216 0
what, did you expect him to go 30 MPH or more on his ******* bike? give him a break, maybe he can't afford a car or wanted to get some exercise... people like you are why this world is full of such assholes
1990TD 6
#18 WIN, you're totally right!
alexFYL 11
LOL @ everyone saying the biker should use the sidewalk even though it's illegal Well the car could have easily driven over the median or over someone's front lawn, even if it's illegal. Did you idiots know that it's unsafe for both the biker and a pedestrian on the sidewalk if the biker rides on the sidewalk? Did you know that it's unsafe for the biker to ride on the shoulder? There are bumps and deformities that could cause a flat tire for the biker, or the deformity could cause the biker to lose control thus swerving into traffic (IE, you) and then traffic (IE, you) hits them. Therefore if you're driving a car behind a biker, shut up, calm down, it's not the end of the world, pick a different route or pass him. If you act angry that a biker is in front of you, they deal with that BS all the time and will likely slow down just to make your life hell because YOU are the one in the wrong. Be nice to them and they'll move - bikers are very friendly.
Octwo 16
Ass wipes that road rage at only get more o
ozymandias_fml 0
Good deal. Now you can tell him to keep his bike out of the road, and stay on the sidewalk, and not have to worry about him causing more traffic problems.