Today, I got stuck behind a guy riding his bike 20 mph below the speed limit. I honked, cursed, screamed, and yelled, before finally managing to overtake him. Once I got home, I went outside to get the paper, and discovered that the biker lives just two doors down from me. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was stuck behind an elderly man on a one-way street into my university campus. There was no traffic in front of him and we were both going under the speed limit, so I honked my horn at him to speed up. He ended up double-parking in the last two spots. FML
Today, the car in front of me was going slow and I flashed my lights and honked. I floored it and passed the car, flipping off the driver. Just as I went around the next corner, I got pulled over by a motorcycle cop. A few seconds later, the guy I flipped off drove by honked and waved. FML
Today, I had a “Fuck you” shouting match with a guy who'd tailgated me in the slow lane through an active school zone. I flipped him off when he finally passed, which admittedly wasn’t my best move. He ended up beside me, windows down, where we verbally sparred like teenagers in a dick swinging contest. Regrettably. FML
Today, I was looking at the map on my phone whilst walking down a street. I heard the sound of a bike behind me so I moved to let the cyclist past. He snatched the phone out of my hand and sped off. FML
Today, some aggressive asshole was tailgating me on my way home, bumping into me twice. I got scared and kicked my car into high gear and got out of there. Seconds later, a traffic cop came out of nowhere and pulled me over for speeding. FML
Today, I missed my bus. I had to ride my bike 2 miles. Once I left, some jerk nearly hit me. I flipped him off and shouted obsceneties. It was my dad, offering me a ride. He left. FML
Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML
Today, I was screamed at by a lady for riding my bike too slowly in front of her car. I was in the bike lane, and so was she. FML
Today, I thought nobody was around so I meowed loud as fuck but actually there was some dude right behind me on a bike. Yeah, I know that's my fault, but… FML
Today, I rode my new bike for the first time. I made it less than 100 feet from my driveway before I was almost flattened by someone driving on the wrong side of the road. Upside: I managed to get out of the way. Downside: I did it by slamming my brand new, expensive bike into a wall. FML
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Top comments
plutosaplanet 0
i beeped at people as they pulled out of my condo complex almost hitting me. i dont care where you live, if you drive like an idiot im going to let you know.
music_girl23 0
"i honked, cursed, screamed, and yelled"... holy crap. calm down. maybe you should look into anger management programs... he's on a bike what do you expect.
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Comments (79)
g_love_glove 0
The driver needs to have a smidge of patience, being behind the biker will only take a few seconds out of the poster's evening of couch and TV. It is not practical for the bicycle to pull over every time a car wants to pass. Even on a lightly traveled road you would need to pull over and wait 5 seconds ... every 5 seconds. Other posters are spot on in saying that the cyclist should not ride at the edge of the lane (it only encourages unsafe passing by other drivers), a speed limit is the MAXIMUM speed (only controlled access roads like freeways have minimum speeds and bicycles aren't allowed there), and illegal things are illegal and should be avoided (so the cyclist should not ride on the sidewalk). My favorite observation so far is that the poster is embarrassed and regrets his actions only because he got caught! If you are treating someone disrespectfully because of your anonymity and would act differently to their face you are cowardly and lack compassion.
Saccharide 0
It's hard to respect someone who is not only generalizing America, bringing up points with no real backing facts, and defending cyclists ineffectivity, but also one who does it in an aggressive, bitter and, frankly, moronic manner. If you're going to give an argument in which you want people to stop treating cyclists like the OP did, you need to not only give us a good reason, but also show that you are an example of a respectful cyclist (so we can trust your opinion)... which, judging from your comment, you aren't.
bikegirl 0
When you are disrespectful to cyclists you are not only disrespecting a persons right, but breaking the law in many cases. Also when you're an aggressive driver remember that the cyclist is ENTITLED to the same roads that a car is, and a person with no protection around them, yet the aggression is coming from somebody in a 2 ton car. I'm sorry that it may add, i don't know, at most a minute to your commute time somewhere, BIG DIFFERENCE.... just be considerate to cyclists, I know way too many people who have been hit by cars because of DRIVERS and their stupidity and hostility.
mattm211 0
if he was doing 20 under he deserved it. police can give people tickets for going to slow also, it causes wrecks also. I've honked and passed people going slow when I know they live by me, because they're old fogies
bikegirl 0
you need to get a grip on things! the law says it's safer for a bike to ride on the road than to be on the sidewalk, and frankly it is, except for the asshole drivers out there, but that's just because they are disrespectful idiots. it may be dangerous for bikes to be on the road, but anytime ANYBODY steps into a car, not only are their lives in danger, but also the people around them whether pedestrians on a sidewalk, kids in a yard or cyclists who are practically on the shoulder of the road. everybody needs to chill out, add the extra 30 seconds or so to your commute, and be respectful
Basmothel 0
Not every road has a sidewalk, and many (if not most or all that I've seen) sidewalks are in so much disrepair that biking on them is impossible with the jagged cement blocks sticking up every few feet. That's ignoring pedestrians and other hazards on the sidewalk (and trust me, being a pedestrian, I hate bikes on the sidewalk than I hate bikes on the road while driving).
rory2812 0
you are exactly the type of person i hate when i ride. think about it, if someone was shouting and abusing you, would you pull over to the side? i know i wouldnt, not to annoy them, but for my safety as they are obviously dangerous drivers. and in some cases (as in going down a hill) its safer for bikers to stay in the middle of the road as to not hit the kerb. seriously, most bikers would have the common sense to stay to the sode of the road unless it was safer doin otherwise.
FeliciaMarie06 0
so what. maybe he shouldn't have been driving so slow. he will get over it.
MrBobby_fml 7
WTF everyone? Was this not talking about a MOTORBIKE rider???
macs4evr 7
You sound like a mofo asshole. Just like the idiot who Almost ran me over (I was going 30 on my bike) and then yelled at ME because I "didn't have a right to be on the road" honestly you fat assholes should start walking and save your lives