Today, I got stuck behind a guy riding his bike 20 mph below the speed limit. I honked, cursed, screamed, and yelled, before finally managing to overtake him. Once I got home, I went outside to get the paper, and discovered that the biker lives just two doors down from me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was stuck behind an elderly man on a one-way street into my university campus. There was no traffic in front of him and we were both going under the speed limit, so I honked my horn at him to speed up. He ended up double-parking in the last two spots. FML
Today, the car in front of me was going slow and I flashed my lights and honked. I floored it and passed the car, flipping off the driver. Just as I went around the next corner, I got pulled over by a motorcycle cop. A few seconds later, the guy I flipped off drove by honked and waved. FML
Today, I had a “Fuck you” shouting match with a guy who'd tailgated me in the slow lane through an active school zone. I flipped him off when he finally passed, which admittedly wasn’t my best move. He ended up beside me, windows down, where we verbally sparred like teenagers in a dick swinging contest. Regrettably. FML
Today, I was looking at the map on my phone whilst walking down a street. I heard the sound of a bike behind me so I moved to let the cyclist past. He snatched the phone out of my hand and sped off. FML
Today, some aggressive asshole was tailgating me on my way home, bumping into me twice. I got scared and kicked my car into high gear and got out of there. Seconds later, a traffic cop came out of nowhere and pulled me over for speeding. FML
Today, I missed my bus. I had to ride my bike 2 miles. Once I left, some jerk nearly hit me. I flipped him off and shouted obsceneties. It was my dad, offering me a ride. He left. FML
Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML
Today, I was screamed at by a lady for riding my bike too slowly in front of her car. I was in the bike lane, and so was she. FML
Today, I thought nobody was around so I meowed loud as fuck but actually there was some dude right behind me on a bike. Yeah, I know that's my fault, but… FML
Today, I rode my new bike for the first time. I made it less than 100 feet from my driveway before I was almost flattened by someone driving on the wrong side of the road. Upside: I managed to get out of the way. Downside: I did it by slamming my brand new, expensive bike into a wall. FML
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Top comments
plutosaplanet 0
i beeped at people as they pulled out of my condo complex almost hitting me. i dont care where you live, if you drive like an idiot im going to let you know.
music_girl23 0
"i honked, cursed, screamed, and yelled"... holy crap. calm down. maybe you should look into anger management programs... he's on a bike what do you expect.
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Comments (79)
SubjectX 0
even though cyclists are legally allowed to be in the road, rule of thumb is that you yield to automobiles and pull to the side. I've had people sit in front of me like the don't give a shit cycling or otherwise. that's just annoying.
Amazingman90 0
i hate bikers and he deserves it for riding a bike fyl
Punkartmama 0
1. Do you really expect a person on a bike to be able to go the speed limit? 2. The speed limit means that you aren't supposed to drive faster than that number, slower is perfectly legal. 3. You are really just talking about saving yourself 2-3 minutes of travel time. 4. Please calm down when driving, you sound scary!
macs4evr 7
Op is probably from michigan
ItisMyOpinion 0
Maybe the OP should invest money to create bike paths so he won't have to worry about bikers as much
causelifehappens 0
i hope the biker scratches your car, bikes have every right to use the road,
MizzHollywood 0
Wait, is this a motorcycle or a bicycle? Some people refer to them as the same thing (Bike), and I think that some of the commenters are talking about bicycles and not motorcycles...
fooj 0
YDI for being a ******* asshole.
MizzHollywood 0
actually, it is illegal to go a certain number under the speed limit. You can get pulled over (i'm not sure about a ticket, but possibly) for going too slow (unless you have a legit excuse) so, although the biker is probably not going that slow and should not get in trouble, you can for going slow.
Punkartmama 0
@60 - You can only get a ticket for driving too slow in certain situations, like on the freeway. People riding a bicycle are not expected to be going 35 Mph (for example).
emspace 0
It sounds like the poster definitely in hurry. Who knows what would have happened to his paper if he didn't get home in time to check it?!
gewt 4
Next time allow yourself plenty of time to get where you are going so you aren't running over pedestrians who have the same right as you.