Love: Today, I got married. My grandpa took me aside afterwards and...

By Anonymous - 31/01/2015 05:38 - United States - Brenham

Today, I got married. My grandpa took me aside afterwards and said that the moment the ceremony was over, he heard my wife's vagina slam shut. "Welcome to marriage, sucker," he chuckled, "It's just you and Rosy Palm now!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 331

You deserved it 3 255

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/08/2011 20:18 - United States

Today, I married the man of my dreams. At the after-party, my psycho grandma stood up, called for quiet, and engaged in a long rant about how this was "the beginning of the end" and advising everyone that the secret to a successful marriage is "cheating, plain and simple". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 311

You deserved it 3 139

By jacey chreyest - 14/02/2014 21:57 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 750

You deserved it 5 008

By Anonymous - 05/12/2010 06:25 - United States

Today, I got married. When my father gave me away, in front of hundreds of people, to my groom, he said, "She's your problem now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 196

You deserved it 8 738

By Denki - 30/01/2013 12:21 - China - Beijing

Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 153

You deserved it 4 513

By Anonymous - 09/10/2017 23:15

Today, I married the beautiful girl I’ve been in love with since we were both 6 years old. By married, I mean I performed the marriage ceremony as the vicar and watched her smile and kiss her arsehole boyfriend, now husband, right in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 730

You deserved it 1 295

The show must go on!

By Stuckwiththebill - 28/01/2018 01:30

Today, during my wedding ceremony, the groom-to-be found it appropriate to blurt out about an ongoing affair with my maid of honor. They got married instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 606

You deserved it 432

By Bridget - 06/05/2012 18:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I married the man of my dreams. While I was being driven to our wedding reception, I checked my Facebook. My husband had just updated his status to "Me and the bitch just got hitched." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 266

You deserved it 7 148

Unapproving

By Anonymous - 27/06/2015 18:56 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, as I kissed my husband after our wedding vows, my mother-in-law muttered "Slut." loudly from the front row. Everyone heard her, but kept smiling and pretended to be oblivious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 004

You deserved it 2 266

By impickingyourhomegran - 13/08/2012 22:12 - United Kingdom - London

Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my grandma, who's tried to ruin every relationship to date, stood up and shouted that "it ain't right", "you're too good for her", and claimed my fiancée has been cheating on me, before she was finally ejected from the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 649

You deserved it 1 938

Classic Jeff

By Anonymous - 02/02/2017 18:00 - United States - Peru

Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband decided it would be a good idea, when he was supposed to do his speech, to stand up and say, "Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please. Genitals. That is all." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 950

You deserved it 1 554

MetalxSoldier 26

Sunday 1 February 2015 6:21

Tell your grandpa it's ok, you have the key.

PossiblyInDanger 24

Sunday 1 February 2015 6:30

Believe it or not, women enjoy sex too. Marriage doesn't mean no more sex.

Comments

c_wyld 21

Sunday 1 February 2015 6:40

Haha your grandpa sounds like a fun guy

swaglesshipster 23

Sunday 1 February 2015 6:59

Well okay then!

patrickalamo 47

Sunday 1 February 2015 7:27

Tell grandpa she has first right of refusal. If she refuses you will exercise your other option.

Vegetarian27 24

Sunday 1 February 2015 11:00

Which option is that? The option of imprisonment?

joeyl1990 28

Friday 22 July 2016 2:00

Masturbation... masturbation is the other option. That should have been obvious based on what OP's grandpa said.

Daelynn_17 19

Sunday 1 February 2015 7:30

congratulations on your marriage. Annnd as a wife of almost 10 years now, may I say... gooood luck. Lol. your gonna need it. Lol Jk. but the fact that your grandpa still uses "Rosy Palm" haha to cute.

JohnTheDonJuan 11

Sunday 1 February 2015 8:53

I prefer "palmela handerson" but to each their own I suppose.

Zebediabolical 39

Sunday 1 February 2015 13:24

I preferred Palmela Handerson in her Baywatch days before the Hep C. Now it's all about Handjelina Jolie, Jennifer Handiston and when I'm in the mood for sex with an angry drugged up woman, Lindsey Lohand.