Today, I got married. My grandpa took me aside afterwards and said that the moment the ceremony was over, he heard my wife's vagina slam shut. "Welcome to marriage, sucker," he chuckled, "It's just you and Rosy Palm now!" FML
Add a comment - Reply to : #
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Create my account
Sign in
Top comments
By
MetalxSoldier
| 26
Tell your grandpa it's ok, you have the key.
By
PossiblyInDanger
| 24
Believe it or not, women enjoy sex too. Marriage doesn't mean no more sex.
COMMENTS
By
FanofGames
| 9
you might like Rosy. she's sounds very "handy" in moments like these.
Reply
Regimental_Phan
| 18
hey, he may be old but he is very wise. listen to the guy!
Reply
WattledParsley
| 11
Yep, she does do the job.
By
Nameless_Fellow
| 11
Dang, your grandfather has eerily good hearing.... FYL
Reply
Livin_Like_Larry
| 29
Holy shit, I'm dying right now!
Reply
weveallbeenthere
| 30
turned the hearing aid way up for that.
Reply
gobiteme2
| 34
Grandpa was a little slow there. It slammed shut the moment he said “I Do”
By
MetalxSoldier
| 26
Tell your grandpa it's ok, you have the key.
By
Johnnycake23
| 42
Hearing Aids these days are incredible!
By
iSativa
| 24
If your wife ain't puttin out, you're bad at sex.
Reply
cheeeksss
| 29
Because obviously wives are obligated to "put out" whenever their husbands wants them to. And obviously if she doesn't want to, it automatically means he's bad in bed. Obviously.
Reply
Erebus_Terror
| 12
You know nothing, cheeks. By the way, do you "put out"?
Reply
Clawsified
| 6
There's nothing about "obligation," obviously. Way to obviously read wrongly into the comment.
It's about her *wanting* sex if it's pleasurable, obviously. And not wanting sex if it sucks, obviously.
There's obviously nothing in that comment about forcing a woman to be submissive, *obviously.*
It's about her *wanting* sex if it's pleasurable, obviously. And not wanting sex if it sucks, obviously.
There's obviously nothing in that comment about forcing a woman to be submissive, *obviously.*
Reply
mfmylifesrsly
| 29
#5 said "putting out" not wanting sex. they're kind of different meanings, at least to me
Reply
ChibiChibi_fml
| 27
"Putting out" equals willingness to have sex. In context to the FML that phrase was perfectly fine to use. There was zero reference to women being submissive to men or being required to have sex. It obviously meant "If she's not willing to have sex".
As a woman I'm inclined to agree. Sex is a pretty big part of a spousal relationship. A sudden lack of interest in sex would mean either 1. The man isn't good enough in bed to keep her interest or 2. There is something medically or psychologically wrong with the woman and it's causing a problem.
The same things would be true in the reverse. His sudden lack of interest would mean that either she's not good enough to keep his interest or there is something medically or psychologically wrong with him.
That said, Grandpa is obviously just joking and his words are no reflection as to the actual status of the OP and his new wife's sexual relationship.
As a woman I'm inclined to agree. Sex is a pretty big part of a spousal relationship. A sudden lack of interest in sex would mean either 1. The man isn't good enough in bed to keep her interest or 2. There is something medically or psychologically wrong with the woman and it's causing a problem.
The same things would be true in the reverse. His sudden lack of interest would mean that either she's not good enough to keep his interest or there is something medically or psychologically wrong with him.
That said, Grandpa is obviously just joking and his words are no reflection as to the actual status of the OP and his new wife's sexual relationship.
By
RobinGoodfellow
| 47
Then it's a good thing you don't marry people for access to their vagina?
By
PossiblyInDanger
| 24
Believe it or not, women enjoy sex too. Marriage doesn't mean no more sex.
Reply
fakedsincerity
| 32
Nah. Women are just baby making machines. We can't enjoy sex.
/sarcasm
/sarcasm
Reply
DoomSkuller
| 28
I think your joke would've been fairly obvious without the "/sarcasm" there
just saying
just saying
Reply
Addy414
| 12
That may be true to us, but you and me both know there are people who take everything on the internet literally
Reply
slutfactory
| 17
I'd actually like to know where this belief that women no longer want sex once married comes from. I haven't found it to be accurate... Yet it's something so many men tend to believe.
Reply
fakedsincerity
| 32
exactly #19.
can't please everyone, i guess!
can't please everyone, i guess!
Reply
tygerarmy
| 35
In a good relationship both people have a similar sex drive.
A persons drive can change, but if it does right after getting married that might mean they were lying about that aspect of the relationship. If you know your wife you shouldn't be worried about anything gramps said OP.
A persons drive can change, but if it does right after getting married that might mean they were lying about that aspect of the relationship. If you know your wife you shouldn't be worried about anything gramps said OP.
Reply
Zebediabolical
| 38
Women enjoying sex? That's a myth. Just like the existance of the female orgasm, the g-spot and Europe.
Reply
weveallbeenthere
| 30
#15 -no, unless you tell people your being sarcastic, most are to stupid to get it.
By
lkreykes
| 14
that's actually pretty funny... but still FYL
By
Altafjhetam11
| 6
Well that's not true. Newly wedded couples do it like there's no tomorrow!
Reply
Goblin182
| 26
And then tomorrow comes
By
LeashaJoy5595
| 28
That is something I would never want to hear from my grandfather under any circumstance... Grandpas talking bout sex and vaginas? *shudder* no thanks
Reply
JohnTheDonJuan
| 11
Yeah, because your grandpa never had sex or was ever your age before....
Reply
ShowMeKay
| 20
#27 Still doesn't mean anyone wants to hear about that from their grandfather :/
Reply
Zebediabolical
| 38
My grandfather told me stories about sex with French women in WWII while he was under Patton's command. I only wish I'd been old enough to enjoy them and tell him my own hilarious anecdotes.