Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards, I went upstairs to get ready for the day. When I came back downstairs I found him pooping on my brand new leather couch. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML
Today, I went out on the porch to smoke a cigarette and then my two year-old son locked me out. I didn't have my cellphone so while I was waiting for my husband to get home, he pooped, smeared his poop all over the floor and glass door, then tried to "mop it." It was literally a shit show. FML
Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML
Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML
Today, after getting home from my morning run, I found my brand new leather couch with scratches all over it and smelling of cat piss. I don't have a cat. FML
Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML
Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML
Today, while teaching at a daycare, a child came up to me and asked if he could go to the bathroom. Obviously, I said it was fine. He then pulled his pants down, and pee on my brand new shoes, and all over my leg. FML
Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML
Today, I spent two hours convincing my 3-year-old son that he can't poop on his 4-month-old brother out of retaliation for the baby pooping on him. He did it anyway. FML
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Top comments
Amburito 0
Woop his ass! That kind of behavior is unacceptable :l
whitesox365 0
You rack disciprine!
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Comments (169)
deeshade 0
I totaLly agree my kids would have no teeth u people create these monsters and society has to deal w them when they get older!!!!
gooseyman 1
**** you couch nigga
MiaLuvsElmo_fml 1
i would have whooped his ass .. on my leather couch hell naw!
Alastrina_fml 20
Parents who don't bother to discipline their kids need to be shot. I don't plan to be a parent, but if that was MY kid, I would have left blisters on his little ass from the spanking with a BELT!
erongetti 2
time to take some ******* control.
chevylynnB87 2
Bust his ass this country lacks in that department that's why you can't go anywhere with out some bratty ass kid I'd ware his ass out and he would clean that "shit" up
randomman423 0
What the hell is wrong with your Satan child??? U deserved it. Horrible parenting.
Amaxwell 0
Get a ******* grip on your kid. My son used to be crazy like that then I laid down the law and stuck to it shit damn, WAKE UP!!
fuckaduck1 4
Leather will clean right up with mild soap, water, and a good leather conditioner. Fixing four years of terrible parenting might not be quite as easy.
steph2052 4
Wow. Your son is four and is cussing? Hmm. Shows what a good parent AND what a good influence you are.