Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards, I went upstairs to get ready for the day. When I came back downstairs I found him pooping on my brand new leather couch. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML
Today, I went out on the porch to smoke a cigarette and then my two year-old son locked me out. I didn't have my cellphone so while I was waiting for my husband to get home, he pooped, smeared his poop all over the floor and glass door, then tried to "mop it." It was literally a shit show. FML
Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML
Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML
Today, after getting home from my morning run, I found my brand new leather couch with scratches all over it and smelling of cat piss. I don't have a cat. FML
Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML
Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML
Today, while teaching at a daycare, a child came up to me and asked if he could go to the bathroom. Obviously, I said it was fine. He then pulled his pants down, and pee on my brand new shoes, and all over my leg. FML
Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML
Today, I spent two hours convincing my 3-year-old son that he can't poop on his 4-month-old brother out of retaliation for the baby pooping on him. He did it anyway. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Amburito 0
Woop his ass! That kind of behavior is unacceptable :l
whitesox365 0
You rack disciprine!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (169)
kokosweet 0
Probably learned the wonderful words from you. Don't blame him.
fk123 0
Get plastic covers
usadrumhead 0
Parenting fail. Discipline your child! Were did he learn that? You. Jus sayin
leadsails320 0
burn baby burn.
7082007 0
Wow there are so many things wrong with this! First off "you got mad" at your four year old for cussing you out?!?!? Maybe you should be mad at yourself for being such a pitiful parent! Where did your child learn these words? Second he pooped on your couch?!? Who is the parent here? He obviously knows he can get away with this kind of behavior! My advice to you is to take some parenting classes and get that poor child some behavioral help because he is only going to get worse if something doesn't change right away! I feel bad for the child in this because his parent is too incompetent to discipline him!
coling 0
Put him over ur knee an spank the lil *****
walrusman 0
A no wiper! The balls on this guy!
ceatsouth 0
Beat his ass
jaycob11 0
Well we kno u white! Cuz u don kno how 2discilpine ur own damm children AT ALL
deeshade 0
I totaLly agree my kids would have no teeth u people create these monsters and society has to deal w them when they get older!!!!