Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards, I went upstairs to get ready for the day. When I came back downstairs I found him pooping on my brand new leather couch. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML
Today, I went out on the porch to smoke a cigarette and then my two year-old son locked me out. I didn't have my cellphone so while I was waiting for my husband to get home, he pooped, smeared his poop all over the floor and glass door, then tried to "mop it." It was literally a shit show. FML
Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML
Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML
Today, after getting home from my morning run, I found my brand new leather couch with scratches all over it and smelling of cat piss. I don't have a cat. FML
Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML
Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML
Today, while teaching at a daycare, a child came up to me and asked if he could go to the bathroom. Obviously, I said it was fine. He then pulled his pants down, and pee on my brand new shoes, and all over my leg. FML
Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML
Today, I spent two hours convincing my 3-year-old son that he can't poop on his 4-month-old brother out of retaliation for the baby pooping on him. He did it anyway. FML
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Top comments
Amburito 0
Woop his ass! That kind of behavior is unacceptable :l
whitesox365 0
You rack disciprine!
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Comments (169)
Lookinforlove10 1
Got mad at him for cussing at you? Are you serious? I would of smacked the bullshit outta him. Thats whats wrong with parents these days...theyre afraid to hit there kids.
melissaisawsome 0
A four yr old cussed u out
Narwhal234 6
That stinks.
ferbreeezy 3
at least it wasn't suede. haha.
ilovekaedyn 0
Ur kid is wild. Lol awesome.
kb240801 4
He wanted to make sure you wouldn't beat the shit out I him. :p
juybuygo 13
did you rub his nose in it?
thelostking509 3
Like a boss
sceptic 1
You don't get mad at a four year old, stupid! You discipline them!!!
ccassell 0
What kind of freakin world do we live in where four year olds cuss out adults? I would have bitch slapped that kid back into the womb.