Today, I got into a very intense fight with my roommate about... - FML

By Look's like she's paying all of it now. - 6/6/2017 02:00

Today, I got into a very intense fight with my roommate about rent payment. She got so angry that she snatched my purse, walked out into the hallway and threw it down the garbage chute. Along with my money, my driver's licence, my credit cards and my monthly pay check was in that purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3686

You deserved it

304

Tweet

Share

Drinking is bad for you, most of the time

Alexa, play "Hey! Student" by The Fall

Trust

By be_nj - 29/5/2009 03:51 - United States

Today, at work as a cashier, I had a male customer come up to me and ask me what hours I worked today, like he has done for several weeks now. Immediately after, my manager calls my lane to tell me to watch out for that guy. He has been stalking a co-worker of mine. Apparently, I'm next. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48404

You deserved it

4145

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 18/10/2019 04:00

Definitely done that

Today, at work, I put my earphones in to listen to some music. An hour later, I realised I never pressed play. FML

I agree, your life sucks

691

You deserved it

1029

Tweet

Share

By luvs2spooge89 - 1/5/2013 14:27 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I went on a run. Going a decent pace, I passed a woman walking her dog. I joked, "C'mon! Keep up!" Thirty feet later I stepped in mud, rolled my ankle and fell. The woman walked by as I lay in agony, and told me to keep up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22850

You deserved it

76120

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 28/10/2011 03:48 - United States

Today, my roomate informed me that her snake was missing in our apartment again. Apparently, I need to be careful because the snake's attracted to blood. I'm on my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36220

You deserved it

3033

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 1/10/2015 12:16 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, I saw my ex boyfriend walking down the street in my direction. I've put on a bunch of weight since we broke up, so I turned to look in the nearest shop window, hoping he wouldn't notice. Unfortunately he did see me, looking straight at a KFC. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26269

You deserved it

6642

Tweet

Share

By stoprubbingitinmyface - 21/3/2015 21:59 - United States - Tacoma

Today, it's been a week since I was dumped. I planned to stay at my apartment, cry and eat chocolate in peace. My roommate decided to have loud sex with her boyfriend in the apartment. She refused to quiet down, saying "My body, my rules." FML

I agree, your life sucks

34340

You deserved it

4679

Tweet

Share

By Username - 9/3/2011 10:04

Today, my boyfriend told me he had to go pick up his family from the airport. I assumed he meant his parents. He apologized and said he meant his wife and child. They'd got their visa sooner than he'd thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44927

You deserved it

6169

Tweet

Share

By and somehow you have a master's degree - 7/11/2017 01:30

Good excuse.

Today, my faculty mentor for my senior capstone project wasn't at my presentation for the entire department faculty. I assumed his wife or kids were sick, but that piece of shit told me himself that he was at home watching the new season of Stranger Things. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4089

You deserved it

327

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 2/3/2012 05:35 - United States

Today, my family made a fake boyfriend for me on Facebook, since it's been so long since I had one. I accepted the relationship request to try and trick people into thinking I actually had a boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10805

You deserved it

29298

Tweet

Share

By Haley. - 26/3/2010 23:58 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

40088

You deserved it

6504

Tweet

Share

By stardad - 22/7/2019 15:02 - United States - Hesperia

Today, my ex purposely taught our kids to call all the Star Wars characters by Star Trek names. I’m not sure what bothers me more, the fact that she did it, or the fact that it makes me utterly insane when they say them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1419

You deserved it

337

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 4/4/2015 14:35 - France - Melesse

Today, at work, I tripped and fell face-first into a food display. As I picked myself up, totally humiliated, I tripped again and fell right back into it, earning a bunch of pitying looks from nearby customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28532

You deserved it

3758

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 5/12/2011 00:40 - United States

Today, I cleaned my toilet. I had forgotten it was white. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8198

You deserved it

48932

Tweet

Share

By TheLemon - 17/2/2017 04:00 - Turkey - Aydin

Today, I finally had a chance to get outside after receiving shrapnel to my leg. My crutches had not yet arrived so I didn't want to risk it, but my buddies said they had my back. We went to the seaside and I sat down as they say they'd be right back. It started to rain and everyone forgot me. I can stand, but not walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7722

You deserved it

543

Tweet

Share

By PeppermintPenny - 10/8/2017 20:00

Been There

Today, a coworker and I had our second date at my place. He wanted to show me pictures of himself in some club, where he had been a member in highschool. He started typing his name into the google search bar and it suggested his name from when I had googled him months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3532

You deserved it

1313

Tweet

Share

By longing for emancipation - 30/4/2016 03:09 - United States - Mitchell

Today, my mom claimed that lactose intolerance is a "myth" and told me to drink my damn milk because it's good for my bones. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14622

You deserved it

1301

Tweet

Share

By LagSwitchFTW - 25/1/2013 22:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42923

You deserved it

5980

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 12/12/2017 19:00

Today, I returned home from my honeymoon and met my dad for coffee. He told me he's been seeing someone and he's so happy. It's my new mother-in-law. They moved in together during my wedding weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4487

You deserved it

330

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 7/12/2010 04:53 - United States

Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32993

You deserved it

2531

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 18/2/2012 06:22 - United States

Today, a hobo threw up on my car while at a red light. He then asked me for money. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29941

You deserved it

2440

Tweet

Share

By PunkChik27 - 12/12/2011 04:46 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, saying we're too different. His only example? He likes ham and I don't. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35003

You deserved it

4444

Tweet

Share

By I'm out - 6/9/2016 17:02 - United States - Huntsville

Today, I found a thong at my boyfriend's house. When I confronted him about it, he panicked and claimed it was his mom's. Right. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16381

You deserved it

1307

Tweet

Share

By imanidiot - 19/4/2009 05:03 - United States

Today, I ordered take out, and paid with a credit card. The cute cashier gave me the receipt to sign, and under 'tip' I gave a couple of dollars. I realized that I had given too much, crossed it out, and changed it. Unaware she was watching, She then responded, "Did you just lower the tip by $1?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

13628

You deserved it

75025

Tweet

Share

By dancer4life - 9/1/2010 03:04 - United States

Today, in ballet class, I was really focusing and actually trying to work hard. I was really getting into the choreography. I was travelling big and leaping long. While going across the floor, again I travelled and leaped... right into the ballet bars and fell over, in front of 35 people. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21985

You deserved it

6085

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 17/5/2009 05:17 - United States

Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56830

You deserved it

8648

Tweet

Share

By Undefined - 1/1/2009 12:09 - France

Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. I look him straight in the eye and ask him: "What's the first thing you think about when you look at me?". His answer: "Can I finish my steak?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

23225

You deserved it

8453

Tweet

Share

By duckwater - 1/3/2010 06:43 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went for a ride in a paddle-boat. He decided it would be fun to paddle near the fountain. The fountain decided it would be fun to shower me, him and all of our things in filthy, stinking duck water. I had to ride the bus home by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23738

You deserved it

4088

Tweet

Share

By bm128902 - 1/10/2009 04:05 - United States

Today, I had a meeting at work. My boss was going around saying that she tries to give time off to the other managers so they can spend time with their family and significant others. She looked at me and said she doesn't for me because I have no one special to spend time with. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35407

You deserved it

2833

Tweet

Share

By Ex-girlfried - 6/9/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's family came over and I thought it would be fun to watch old family videos of when I was a kid. A few minutes into my 5th birthday party, I excused myself and went to grab some snacks for everyone. I returned to realize I had recorded porn over my family videos. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9617

You deserved it

68358

Tweet

Share

By sillygoose - 14/12/2009 03:53 - Canada

Today, I went to the doctor to check the dark growth I just discovered on my back. It was chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8164

You deserved it

44126

Tweet

Share

By - 22/5/2019 02:04

Today, it's been so long since my wife has been interested in me intimately, I became aroused when a woman touched my arm while talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2235

You deserved it

207

Tweet

Share

By Pooping - 29/8/2012 19:19 - Canada - Aldergrove

Today, while I was at work, a coworker began ranting about his theory that the government is going to create a disease that sterilises everyone, and use the antidote to control the population. I was just trying to take a crap in the stall next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21760

You deserved it

1882

Tweet

Share

By Jeff - 2/8/2019 04:00 - United States

Today, after a stay at the hospital for two broken legs, I finally got home and attempted to relax. My dad went to hand me the remote and dropped it right on my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1517

You deserved it

115

Tweet

Share

By Dora - 12/10/2009 13:21 - Canada

Today, I won 10,555 dollars on scratch cards! My sister got me to do a happy dance and filmed it. The video is on facebook and the tickets were fake. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37100

You deserved it

7805

Tweet

Share

By asthmasucks - 19/9/2009 07:47 - United States

Today, due to the heat, I had a deadly asthma attack. Where was my inhaler? My dad pawned it for beer money. What did my dad do about my attack? Told me to quit being a Drama Queen. I had to go across the street and beg for a ride to the ER from my neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

65018

You deserved it

3571

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 1/6/2009 19:07 - United States

Today, I had the Monday meeting that I have had every week for 8 months. We had new people joining today. One of my bosses went around the room introducing people, and he forgot my name. I've been sitting across from him with a nametag for 8 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46019

You deserved it

4023

Tweet

Share

By dinapar - 14/7/2009 14:02 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend watching a movie, my boyfriend then leans in and says: "You know, you're my favourite girlfriend." I then jokingly responded by saying: "You say that like I'm not the only girlfriend you have right now." I hate being right. FML

I agree, your life sucks

62800

You deserved it

4946

Tweet

Share

By soldiergirl - 25/10/2011 00:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me because he "can't date someone who supports the war". We started dating because he thought I looked cute in my uniform. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35953

You deserved it

3783

Tweet

Share

By helpme - 4/12/2013 04:05 - United States - Brockton

Today, I got a new chair at work. After spending 3 hours putting it together, I was called into my boss's office and let go. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44438

You deserved it

5684

Tweet

Share

By nomwar - 17/6/2013 13:55 - United States

Today, I went to a new bar with friends. After arriving I became extremely gassy; I planned a smooth release during the loud music. Little did I know the bar occasionally dips its music to hear the guests singing. When the music turned off all eyes turned to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46012

You deserved it

14820

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By CrazyTrainWreck | 19

#7465920 - Tuesday 6 June 2017 2:02

2 words: Anger Management

By amberfox | 11

#7465930 - Tuesday 6 June 2017 2:28

Time for a new roommate.

Comments

By CrazyTrainWreck | 19

#7465920 - Tuesday 6 June 2017 2:02

2 words: Anger Management

By luckypants | 17

#7465925 - Tuesday 6 June 2017 2:20

Omg...what a psycho.
(The only way I can think that you deserved this is if you have been the asshole, but I'm assuming this is not the case here).

By amberfox | 11

#7465930 - Tuesday 6 June 2017 2:28

Time for a new roommate.

By RichardPencil | 28

#7465935 - Tuesday 6 June 2017 2:37

You oughta chute her!

By Sparx1_1 | 16

#7465938 - Tuesday 6 June 2017 2:44

Your wording kind of implies that you haven't paid your share of the rent and makes me wonder if it's an ongoing problem. People who do not pay their rent in full and on time eventually get evicted so I'm thinking YDI

Reply

SneezyBear | 27

#7465947 - Tuesday 6 June 2017 3:13

It honestly could be either. Either OP isn't paying rent, or the roommate. Can't tell if it's an FML or a YDI until further clarification lol

Reply

chickensheep | 15

#7466033 - Tuesday 6 June 2017 9:15

Read the OP's nickname. I think that pretty much confirms she was the one who wasn't paying.

Reply

SneezyBear | 27

#7466414 - Wednesday 7 June 2017 3:00

No... no it doesn't. Regardless who was paying the rent, the roommate definitely will be "paying all of it now", because OP's purse is down the garage chute. So that tells us nothing. In fact if anything, it makes more sense that the roommate WASN'T paying it, because you wouldn't to say that she'll be "paying it *now*" if she had in fact been paying all along anyway.

By ohsnapword | 21

#7465963 - Tuesday 6 June 2017 4:21

I'd throw her down the chute after it.

By thatslifeiguess7 | 15

#7465964 - Tuesday 6 June 2017 4:27

doesn't the chute wind up in a trash can ? Grow up take,a chair climb in the damn trash and get your shit! it's the 5th no wonder she is mad!

By RichardPencil | 28

#7465978 - Tuesday 6 June 2017 5:10

Looks like the dumpster-diving guy from yesterday was a day early and a dollar short.

By jgriff79 | 23

#7465980 - Tuesday 6 June 2017 5:23

Thank god you don't have a baby!

By CSSDimian | 6

#7465983 - Tuesday 6 June 2017 5:35

Go get it? It's not a black hole, there is a destination.