Wind? Thief? Hit and run?

Today, I woke up and found that the tree in my front yard was gone. FML

Today, a storm dropped a tree across my road. I would have moved it with my tractor, but there was a tree on that too. FML

Today, I was driving home, when a truck overtook me. Two of the Christmas trees it was carrying fell off straight into my bumper. The car behind me pulled over, but instead of seeing if I was okay, he just went to see whether or not either of the trees was in good enough shape to take home. FML

Too little, too late

Today, I finally went to Home Depot to buy a chainsaw to cut down the tree leaning dangerously over my garage. When I got home, I found the tree had fallen and taken out the roof while I was shopping. FML

Today, I was driving behind a tall truck when it drove through some overhanging branches. Suddenly, a huge branch fell on top of my car, leaving it scratched all over and with several dents in the roof. FML

Today, I found out if a tree falls in the forest and there's nobody around, it does in fact make a sound, and also $5,000 worth of damage to your truck. FML

Today, I was awakened by the sound of chain-saws. Moments later a tree branch came through my roof. FML

Today, the tree that my neighbors have neglected to cut down fell on my car. They claim that by law, they aren't responsible and don't have to pay for it. FML

Today, I was just about to get in the shower, when I heard a loud crunch. I thought to myself, boy the neighbours next door must be doing some heavy construction. Two seconds after that thought, my brother knocked on the door to inform me that the neighbours tree had just fallen on my car. FML

Unbeliever

Today, I was in a college band rehearsal when I got a call, saying, "Your car was just hit by a tree!" I said, "Yeah, right!" and hung up on her. Minutes later, the band manager walked in and told me that my car was totaled. I then went and stood in the rain to watch a tree get cut off my car. FML