By divorcee - 06/09/2012 03:27 - Canada - Saint Albert

Today, I got back to work. Last week, my divorce was finalized and my last name is, once again, my maiden name. Since I'm a teacher, all my students will remember me by my ex-husband's last name. I get to be reminded every day that my marriage failed until everyone memorizes my maiden name. FML
I agree, your life sucks 28 029
You deserved it 4 062

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Sucks for you, OP. but do they have to call you by name every time? Can't they just say 'miss' ?

Have them call you Ms. (Whatever letter your ex-husband's name started with) that way it isn't as painful.

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Sucks for you, OP. but do they have to call you by name every time? Can't they just say 'miss' ?

I say Miss all the time. Its easier than saying the teachers full name for nothing !

1 isn't that up to the kids...

Also sucks that school just started this week >.>

There are schools that start in August, as well as some college courses run through the summer. Keep in mind, just because your school runs a certain way, doesn't mean the rest of em do too. Also she did say she was back at work, coming back to school is also coming back to work. And if she previously taught there last year (or even for years) then they will all know her married name vs. her maiden.

It depends on where she is; some districts started two or more weeks ago. But if it just started, that's a good thing; less recent repetition for the students to unlearn. Of course, if I were a teacher undergoing a divorce, I think I'd've introduced myself in the new school year with my maiden name even if it wasn't wholly official yet. Perhaps the OP did the same.

OP should have just started using her maiden name when the year started to prevent this from happening.

33- I've been in school for a month. Not everyone started just this week.

(duplicate comment removed)

It might be just me but I think calling a teacher by only Miss is kind of rude. Doesn't it sound a little harsh?

This happened last year, my teacher Mrs.Schmidt got a divorce but didn't fell us to call her by her maiden name or anything, everyone including staff called her Schmidt. This year everyone calls her Phillips & it's weird to hear (but we still run up to her & say "Schmidty!")

Have them call you Ms. (Whatever letter your ex-husband's name started with) that way it isn't as painful.

Like Ms. X

This works if your intital is the same as your ex's. Otherwise, Ms <maiden name initial>. They'll get used to it. Some of the students likely have gone through this with their own parents. Good luck, OP.

Try to look at it as a lesson learned vs a failed marriage; might make things a little easier to handle...that does suck though...

Never understood the concept of changing lastnames. I'd keep mine, married or not.

42- The concept was sort of transferred responsibility if you will. Just like the ring used to signify ownership. Well maybe not ownership, per se, but both things still signified that the bride belonged to the groom and his family. She would be their responsibility/ part of their family/ etc.

I hadn't scrolled all the way down before writing my comment. 26 explains it way better than I do :P

I don't see the big deal. My mom changed hers, but let's her students still call her by my dad's last name. But she is a kindergarten teacher I guess...

Well visa versa if being married means being a part of the family. The groom too belong in the bride's family. Would he need to change his last name into hers? It's always the women who are stuck to the adapting process.

That really sucks to be reminded like this... I hope you find the right match in the future OP they're out there! :)

This exact thing happened to my mom. Don't worry OP, it gets better.

I'm going through a divorce too but I didn't change my last name. The divorce itself is painful enough I can't being reminded about it everyday. But the kids don't know any better, and like other say it will get better.

Just focus on being the best teacher you can to your little ones and try to put it out of mind as much as possible.

"Kids now if you only say my new name today I will bring you all toaster strudels!"

Bribery isn't a bad idea.... But then what happens on the day she forgets them? Or bring the wrong flavor that the fat kid in the back of the room doesn't like?

Well, then she gets eaten! :D

13, the fat kid in the back of the room didn't get fat by being picky!

I usually just called my teachers "miss" and left it at that.... See if that works.

Yeah... The kids are the one's talking to her... So... If She tells them to just call her miss, she should be able to get them to successfully call her by her new name. I still don't understand why a new group of students will be calling her by her old name. How do they know what it is? They weren't her students last year.

Maybe she teaches in a secondary school/ high school where she has the same students.

They probably heard her name before when the asked her last class how the homework was or it says it in the schedule they got at the beginning of the year. I don't think it's weird to know your teachers' names beforehand.

30- she may have the same class. In my area certain teachers move up with her class. But that's just in my area, I don't think it happens much elsewhere.

#30: Sometimes kids do have the same teacher for more than one year, especially in earlier grades, smaller schools, or specialized subjects. In my primary school system, grades were paired together -- first and second graders shared classes, third and fourth, and fifth and sixth. I had the same teacher for both fifth and sixth grade. I also had the same art, theatre, and Spanish teachers throughout high school.

I can't see where OP is from, but at High Schools in Scotland, there are loads of different teachers for one course, so you can easily get the same teacher. I had the same biology teacher for 6 years.

I'm sorry OP. That does sound like it would make the whole situation a bit more painful. Maybe instead of associating your old name with the end of your marriage you can try to associate it with a fresh start. I hope the year gets better for you.

Maybe write it on the board? Wear a nametag? Spend a minute having everyone say your maiden name over and over? edit: #8's suggestion is way better.

Wait I'm still on FML, right? Oh, I am. Of course it sucks!