Today, I got asked to Homecoming by the person I really like. I said yes and I was really excited. But my best friend who has liked me since the 6th grade wasn't. He went and broke my date's jaw. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my crush finally asked me to homecoming. I told my best friend, thinking she would be happy for me. Now we are in a big argument and she won't talk to me because I have a date and she doesn't. FML
Today, a guy I've liked for a while asked if he could talk to me during break. He'd never done that before, so I was excited and said yes. As soon as we both sat down, he asked if I'd help him get a date with my best friend. FML
Today, I was going to ask this girl I love to homecoming. I set up a scavenger hunt, and my friend led her through it. At the end of the scavenger hunt I had a note that said, "Homecoming?" She said yes and hugged my friend. When I told her it was me who was asking, she laughed and said no. FML
Today, a guy who I was low-key crushing on asked me out. I excitedly told my best friend, as I do when I have big news. She informed me that the same guy asked her out 15 minutes ago. He'd originally been into her and only came to me because she rejected him. FML
Today, I went to my Homecoming dance. I had a great time until some fat girl kept trying to dance with my date, even though he politely asked her to stop. I decided to intervene. I found myself pinned to the floor by a fat girl crushing on my date, who was cheering her on as she tackled me. FML
Today, I sat to the right of a girl I really like. I passed her a note asking her to homecoming. She read it, then hurriedly passed it to a hideous girl sitting on her left, who said yes, then hugged me. FML
Today, I asked a girl I like to homecoming. I brought her to my house beforehand for dinner with my family. My brother asked her whether we were just friends or dating, she shouted, "Just friends!" and then starts flirting with him with me in the room. FML
Today, the girl I like asked me to take over her shift at the place we both work at. Being nice, I readily took over. Later, I found out she went on a date with my best friend. He knows I like her. FML
Today, I was supposed to go on a date with a guy I really like. My friends convinced me that he was going to stand me up and that I should just stay home to avoid being hurt. He showed up; I didn't. My friends laughed at my gullible nature. FML
Today, I had to help my best friend plan his upcoming date with the girl he doesn't know I'm secretly in love with. FML
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Top comments
Entheatus 13
Yeah...I wouldn't date that best friend. Seems a bit unstable.
I_Deserved_It 10
Friend zone can be a bitch, huh?
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Comments (265)
rxrxrx 0
You should see the movie Disco Pigs.
Dcvictorious 0
Jesus this is a long battle lol- but I suppose it has been forever.
im_da_man 5
i understand why he would want to do it, but why he would actually doit, i dont know. forgive him for having testoterone.
RubixMonkey 0
That's a lame excuse. Its not about him being male, its about him not being able to control his temper.
Witchcraft_fml 5
RubixMonkey and I have estrogen, so I guess that gives us an excuse to go ape-shit crazy and start screaming at everyone we know before bursting into tears.
RubixMonkey 0
Don't tell me what to do. Its because this comment box makes me look fat. Look at the size of my ******* "T". I just wish I could die. Oh sure now you say nothing! You can just ******* die. *Throws shit* *Bursts into tears.* I just want chocolate.
Witchcraft_fml 5
Rubix, stop, you're making me cry! *mental breakdown* You just want chocolate? What, are you implying I'm fat?! Just say it, Rubix, just say it! I'm fat, right?! How could you say such a mean thing to me?! *sob* All I wanted was a hug, and you had to go and say that you wanted chocolate and then you called me fat and then you said that my thighs spread when I sit down and that I'm getting jowls and I'm getting old and I'm a bitch and I slept around with everybody at work and and how could you be so mean to me Rubix I don't know what I did to deserve such foul treatment and waaaaaaaaaaaaaah [high-pitched, indiscernible blabber and crying]
RubixMonkey 0
You said that to me in front of my ******* boy...well the current guy I am ******* on the side. I mean I can't keep track of all the guys I have had to sleep with, they blur! I mean they say they are my best ******* friends and that I have to sleep with them, but then they leave and... am I fat? Are you saying that you're fat and because you're smaller than me I am a ******* hippo. No I am the moon! Why would you say that about me. I just... Wow are those new shoes. Lets go shopping.
thecoldhardtruth 0
will you 2 (rubixmonkey and witchcraft) stop posting and just go start bumping uglies already (tapes plz)? honestly do u guys even realize how much time you have spent on this single FML? its rediculous oh and dont bother coming up with a witty comment/retort aimed at me, i only visit FMLs once, the ones that i do visit that is; i wont be back so i can c what reaction my comments have stirred!
DameGreyWulf 1
Question: Then why bother to post? The point of posting is so that others will see what you have to say and potentially remark on it. There's no shame in coming back to see those remarks, since you bothered so you might as well. And those who remarked intended on you reading it anyway, so why not at least give them that? So why bother posting at all if you don't care about whether someone responds? Obviously you cared enough for them to see it.
RubixMonkey 0
Buuuut its fun. I am amused, Witchraft is amused. You obviously wanted us to hear that and think we should make a **** tape (see Witchcraft other people think FML **** is a great idea.) Vote our comments down if you must, but I'm having fun.
Witchcraft_fml 5
RubixMonkey speaks the truth! Hell yeah, FML ****, we need to market this.
HMTQMadge 1
I'm not one for assholes, but I always felt jealousy was cute.
Witchcraft_fml 5
"Look at me, I'm Pimpin88, I'm 6'1, good lookin', and I run da bitchez like a slave-drive! Look, my username proves I'm a pimp and a player!" No one gives a shit about your beer or your parties, nor does it make you any less of an idiotic dick. And yeeeeeeeeah, so because you came on a website to rant about your trubbles wid da wiminz and your supposed "solution", we're supposed to bow down at your feet because we supposedly think you're some sort of sexgod now? Erm, no. You're still just as laaaaaaaame as you were before. Even more so now, because instead of my belief that you are a teenager pining for a girlfriend, I now instead think you're a bling-flingin', saggy-pants wearin', sunglasses-at-night wieldin' douchebag full of quite a lot of douchebaggery.
piccole_pete 0
It's because you're from Oregon. Lot's of aggro skinheads in Oregon. Bright side! You can play Florence Nightingale and P-whip this dude without even giving it up to him by helping him heal and making him milkshakes. You can turn this situation into your advantage if you want to.
allmadhere 0
oh no! a girl who I like likes someone else! that's not fair, I'm entitled to have every girl I like no matter what her feelings.
RubixMonkey 0
^This.
RubixMonkey 0
Witchcraft, ho ya gots da bomb comments. Sometimes I wants ta write uh book about yo' comments. But da truth iz, Pimpin' just don' gots uh chance. He changes opinions like Oprah'sweight, every comment he iz trying ta seem like some sort o' sex god. But I know his 411. He iz uh saggy pants loser, like ya said. I agree. See how intelligent I be, wiff muh ma ****** tight slang.
Witchcraft_fml 5
Biznatch, we needz ta make a book abouts BOTH our commentz wen we go n tear people up, yo. I believe we jus' discredited both Pimpin88 and Horniness, biznatch. They seems 2 b cut frum da same mold, right biznatch? You is right, he is be changin' wut he be sayin' over and over again. I believe he be a thirteen-year-old who thinks big chains and loose pants are da bomb. I iz so impressed by yo hella tight street slangz, you is be mah ma'******' hero, biznatch.