Health: Today, I got a new roommate in the dorms. When I got back to... - FML

By floggingnasty - 13/02/2011 11:38 - United States

Today, I got a new roommate in the dorms. When I got back to my room, I could smell her feet before I even opened my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 759

You deserved it 2 817

Empathy lives

Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

Silver linings

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 06:24 - France

Today, I signed my own plaster-cast to make people believe that I actually have friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 801

You deserved it 7 670

By Anonymous - 16/06/2010 23:16 - United States

Today, after weeks of looking forward to my birthday trip to the beach, I've come down with a serious case of the flu. My family is still going without me, but at least now they don't have to pay someone to watch the dog. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 871

You deserved it 2 734

By noname - 03/01/2009 03:26 - France

Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 434

You deserved it 2 495

By Anonymous - 13/09/2009 02:42 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend while looking at halloween costumes online for this years halloween party and said, "Maybe we could go as Bonnie and Clyde this year." He said, "Maybe we should go as a broken up couple," and hung up on me. He wasn't kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 442

You deserved it 3 885

By Boothater - 03/04/2009 05:10 - United States

Today, the director of the play I'm in decided to show us an example of the type of shoes we would be wearing in the show. She brings in a pair of hideous black combat boots, and I remark how ugly they are. They're her own favorite boots. I had to carpool with her after rehearsal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 514

You deserved it 59 987

By PCop - 02/08/2010 23:21 - United States

Today, I was bored out of my mind at work. I told my coworker he was lucky to be leaving early. I forgot the reason of his early departure was to go to his grandfather's funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 566

You deserved it 36 398

By disgusted - 13/12/2015 07:45 - United States - Logan

Today, I confessed to my coworker that I'm interested in her romantically. She turned me down, saying that I'm a great guy, but that she basically doesn't want mixed-race children. She said she isn't racist, though, so I guess it's all okay, right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 844

You deserved it 3 290

And I oop

By SuperBunny - 20/04/2009 07:59 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was taking me to dinner to meet his parents. As we pulled into the restaurant valet, I saw a woman in a slutty dress and hooker heels get out of the car ahead of us. I jokingly asked if we had accidentally pulled into a strip club, pointing at the woman. It was his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 811

You deserved it 61 890

By Anonymous - 27/06/2012 20:02 - United States - Elkhart

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I had an IUD put in two years ago that's supposed to prevent pregnancy. To put it in perspective, less than 1% of people using this IUD get pregnant. Lucky me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 806

You deserved it 5 324

Help me

By Backed up - 21/11/2019 08:00 - United States

Today, I had the privilege of looking into my husband's eyes and uttering one of the sexiest phrases in the English language, "I need a suppository." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 812

You deserved it 224

By weirdlove - 23/01/2010 08:38 - Australia

Today, while my boyfriend and I were eating an icecream, he put his arm around me and began leaning in for what I thought was a kiss. Instead, he grabbed and began jiggling my stomach fat, along with making raspberry sounds. Once he was done, he did the same to my thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 549

You deserved it 7 964

By haku4u - 01/04/2013 23:18 - United States - Port Charlotte

Today, I got served paperwork stating that my ex-fiancée is suing me again for child support. About 7 years ago, I proved via DNA testing within the court system that I was not the father the first time. I see a talk show in my future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 087

You deserved it 2 902

Not you

By Anonymous - 06/11/2020 01:02 - Chile - Santiago

Today, I avoided checking Facebook because I didn't want to see all the Halloween parties involving my friends that I didn't get invited to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 124

By shouldabeenapornstar - 17/03/2010 15:46 - United States

Spicy

Today, I decided to fake it when my husband and I were making love. Afterwards, he told me that he could tell my head was "really in the game" and felt a stronger connection with me now and was glad I opened up and "let go" with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 191

You deserved it 40 211

By anonymous - 30/09/2012 05:32 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I got yelled at for providing horrible customer service, in a store I don't even work for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 548

You deserved it 1 994

Oh, the patriarchy

By confused - 09/02/2021 02:00 - United States

Today, a coworker grabbed my ass for the third time. I went to my boss to complain about the sexual harassment. He told me to suck it up and enjoy the attention, and that it was my fault for having a huge, round ass. I think it's time for a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 816

You deserved it 128

Classic brain fart

By Anonymous - 19/04/2021 05:30 - Australia - Ballarat

Today, I lovingly simmered a chicken carcass, vegetables and spices to make soup. Two hours it took. After all that, I mindlessly strained out the chicken bones and let the soup pour straight down the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 510

By brotheritachi - 13/06/2017 16:00

Today, it was my first driving lesson. I was so bad, the police stopped me and accused me of being drunk, because I almost crashed into the pole in front of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 424

You deserved it 919

By alo1434 - 23/06/2011 08:54 - United States

Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 516

You deserved it 3 305

By exnotwelcome19 - 02/05/2011 01:05 - United States

Today, my mom told my abusive ex-boyfriend, whom I broke up with 5 days ago, that he is always welcome at my house. She "misses him". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 265

You deserved it 3 707

Rollercoaster

By Margaret - 04/09/2020 02:02 - Canada - Toronto

Today, within the span of one day, the owner of the business I work at said I could write "Technical & Compliance Manager" on paperwork where I was the approver for engineered compliance of product regulatory records, but also that I was "basically just a secretary." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 040

You deserved it 169

By Anonymous - 10/02/2012 22:17 - Canada

Today, I was looking through some old family photos. I don't know what the hell was going on in my head, but I idly double-tapped on one to zoom in. They were prints. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 208

You deserved it 29 356

By Anonymous - 10/09/2010 14:56 - United States

Today, my 8 year old adopted daughter told me she wants me to take her back so another family can adopt her because I don't give her enough toys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 827

You deserved it 4 606

By Amy (grossed out) - 27/04/2014 13:43 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, my long-distance boyfriend got extremely drunk and insisted that we ran the Skype call all night so it was like I was there with him. I woke up to the sound of him vomiting loudly at 3am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 507

You deserved it 6 012

By Anonymous - 02/08/2009 21:20 - Canada

Today, a moth was flying around my house. Annoyed, I picked up a shoe to crush it with. The moth landed on a light fixture on the ceiling, so I made my move. Dead, the moth slipped gracefully through air and onto my head. So did the light fixture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 803

You deserved it 51 892

By Joel - 02/09/2009 04:29 - United States

Today, I found out that my company was throwing a work picnic. When i showed up, I realized that it had been planned months ago and I wasn't supposed to find out. The entire restaurant was there greeting me with faces of utter shock. Nothing says 'you suck' more than being 'that guy' at your job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 037

You deserved it 6 251

Thanks, "Bro"

By probably on death row soon - 25/12/2015 18:32 - United States - Winter Park

Today, my brother "pranked" me by dropping my new laptop out my bedroom window. He'd set up a saran wrap safety net below to catch my laptop safely, but he didn't secure it well enough. My laptop is completely fucked and he won't accept responsibility because he didn't mean to break it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 091

You deserved it 1 581

By KKimrae_ness - 28/05/2009 07:14 - United States

Today, I found some oversized-strawberry-spree candies in my pantry. They were delicious and I munched on them through out the day. I ended up in and out, but mostly in, the bathroom in the dead hours of the night experiencing the wonders and effectiveness of Fruit Flavored Fiber pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 435

You deserved it 47 197

New quest

By lilybelle11 - 03/11/2020 08:02 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, it became apparent that my boyfriend only showers when he levels up on World of Warcraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 131

By ryan and Zack - 25/02/2010 22:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, I walked over to my grandmother's house to pay her a visit. I politely knocked on the door, and there was no answer. Fearing that something had happened, I violently broke down the door to find my grandma and her new 80 year old boyfriend having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 149

You deserved it 7 892

By sparky83000 - 29/10/2015 20:51 - Canada

Today, at work on a construction site, my coworker dropped a small piece of metal from 4 stories, and it struck another worker. We quickly began to climb down to see if the person was OK, and the same coworker dropped a metal pole, and crushed my hand, two minutes after the first accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 084

You deserved it 1 435

By j0natron - 03/02/2009 20:30 - United States

Today, I was taking the elevator down with a group of people. It stopped on the 2nd floor and I said "What asshole can't take the steps from the 2nd floor?" Then a kid in a wheelchair got on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 283

You deserved it 54 359

Subtle differences

By Betterthanthis - 25/11/2015 20:16 - United States - New Berlin

Today, when my boss said, "Don't worry, I know all the requirements," she actually meant, "I know nothing, and will scream at you in rage because you cannot psychically divine all the requirements the day before a major holiday when no one is available to talk to you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 964

You deserved it 1 475

By grenade - 17/07/2011 06:24 - United States

Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 920

You deserved it 7 879

By couchsurfer - 10/08/2012 00:02 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to allow the cats to sleep with us on the bed. As we started to cuddle, one of the cats pissed right in between us. We are sleeping on the couch until the baking soda absorbs the smell in the mattress. I'll be sleeping there longer than that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 039

You deserved it 29 896

By Anonymous - 28/07/2015 00:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 010

You deserved it 2 910

By JustWashedTheseJeans - 25/10/2016 01:05

Today, I pissed my pants in fear for the first time. Was I at a spooky haunted house? Nope, I turned a corner and got startled by a parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 121

You deserved it 1 881

By horribleevening - 31/01/2019 22:00 - Australia - Hornsby

Today, my wife was sitting next to me surrounded by friends and she decided to start looking up the man that she had an affair on Facebook on her phone - all while I am sitting right next to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 492

You deserved it 257

Smart

By mother of a complete idiot - 16/03/2021 21:30

Today, my daughter left a plate of food in her room for two hours. When I yelled at her about ants, her response was, "But I thought it took DAYS for ants to show up!" I raised this dumbass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 801

By You Wish - 07/03/2009 07:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was sitting on my 70 year old grandmothers bed with my older brother. I decided to snoop through the cabinet at the back of her bed, and I pulled out what I naively thought was a strange looking flashlight. When I twisted the bottom of it to see what would happen it started vibrating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 491

You deserved it 71 450

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Sunday 13 February 2011 19:09

that must've been some smelly feet. she showers in onion or something?

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Sunday 13 February 2011 19:08

Someone needs to take a shower.

Comments

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Sunday 13 February 2011 19:08

Someone needs to take a shower.

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Sunday 13 February 2011 20:52

Maybe she can just smell really well. My mom can smell nail-polish from a different floor of the house. It's unfortunate because I get in trouble for painting my nails on the carpet.:(

catatonicsleep 17

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Sunday 13 February 2011 21:27

put a book under your feet, just make sure you don't knock the bottle over. :)

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Sunday 13 February 2011 21:31

fish

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Monday 14 February 2011 0:06

Ew, foot odor is incredibly disgusting. I'm so sorry OP. You have every right to being up the topic, the room is half yours and you should be able to live and sleep comfortably in your own dorm. Is there's a common area where your roommate can dry out his/her shoes?

kinkajoujennie 0

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Monday 14 February 2011 5:00

Better to smell her feet then smell her stinky puss.

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Monday 14 February 2011 5:20

Bring* There* Wow.

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Monday 14 February 2011 6:07

It was op's upper lip

jo929 6

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Monday 14 February 2011 10:05

time for a roomie pedicure get to know each other day

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Sunday 13 February 2011 19:08

Someone needs to take a shower.

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Sunday 13 February 2011 19:09

that must've been some smelly feet. she showers in onion or something?

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Sunday 13 February 2011 19:11

That's gross. You sure it was her feet? Maybe she brought some parmesan cheese?

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Sunday 13 February 2011 21:17

what?? lol that mafe no sense

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Sunday 13 February 2011 22:06

Yeah... haha what are you talking about?

ChibiChibi_fml 27

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Sunday 13 February 2011 22:46

Parmesan cheese in larger quantities smells like unwashed feet. That's what that commenter meant and it made perfect sense.

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Monday 14 February 2011 2:04

agrees with 41

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Monday 14 February 2011 2:13

Yeah, it "mafe" a lot of sense. :D

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Monday 14 February 2011 6:07

hey my ipod screws me up on purpose :( you hurt my feelings now.

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Monday 14 February 2011 22:14

Hehe. I kid. (: Just thought it was funny.

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Sunday 13 February 2011 19:13

LMAO that must suck

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Sunday 13 February 2011 19:19

that's gross fungus

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Sunday 13 February 2011 19:22

I will agree that your roommate needs to take a shower for sure but if you just opened the door im not understanding you're positive it was her feet... she might just need to wash her whole body because she's gross

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Sunday 13 February 2011 19:23

Also, it wouldn't be rude to tell her up front, just don't be rude at all.

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Sunday 13 February 2011 19:23

Also, it wouldn't be rude to tell her up front, just don't be rude at all.

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Sunday 13 February 2011 19:23

Also, it wouldn't be rude to tell her up front, just don't be rude at all.

Nearly

Today, I was diagnosed with anorexia. My mother still keeps on calling me a fat fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26

You deserved it 3

Today, I found out my mother listens to my therapy sessions. She’s the reason I need therapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24

You deserved it 1

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my college fuck buddy started sending my wife our dirty chat logs. Not only have I not spoken to her in years, but the logs are time/date stamped from when Obama was still President. She's never met my wife and I have no idea what she hopes to get out of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 121

Today, I’d been bicurious for years but always much too shy to seek out a woman to attempt intimacy. Well, I finally hooked up with a girl I’ve had a crush on for a while. Not only was it an amazing, mind-blowing experience, she also left me with a crotch searing yeast infection from hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 229

You deserved it 295