Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML
Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!". Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't". FML
Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "Wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!" Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't." FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML
Today, my friends decided it would be funny to give me a "hickey" with a vacuum cleaner while I was passed out drunk. Not only do I have to try and explain this to my girlfriend, but we're meeting her parents for lunch this afternoon. FML
Today, out of boredom, I decided to dye my hair. I clumsily spilled some of the purple dye on my chest and shoulders. My insane mother is convinced the marks are hickeys I got from sneaking out and having sex with a boyfriend I don’t even have. She won’t listen, and I’m grounded for a month. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend started a fake argument and pretended to be mad at me for four days, which was almost enough time for the gigantic hickey that my best friend gave her on her neck to heal. FML
Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was unsure of the future of our relationship, so he gave me a gigantic hickey to "show the world that I'm his." I work as a cashier and see people I know personally on a daily basis. FML
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Top comments
KabamWolf 22
I incest you go see what happend
Destinee_1 13
As a girl, I'm saying there is a high chance she is bull ******** that.
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Comments (110)
katertott 44
He saw the hickey itself or saw you giving it to her?
idxntgiveafxck 17
WTFFFFFF
Simbaby 23
I don't know how to feel about this .
FMLiam 17
I think you should incestigate that...
Polynomial 28
Bettr than 5.
vikky538 29
So after all, all those ads on **** websites about dads have some truth behind it
charliewhippet 9
Of course her dad didn't see it. She just wanted an excuse not to see you, and "I'm grounded" works.
summersegebarth 16
Sorry. She probably doesn't want to hang out. Orrr she's cheating on u. Sorry dude.
Wheelman2178 18
Pretty sure if you're young enough to be grounded then you're not old enough to be having sex, but hey that's just me. You I also incest you see what's going on!
chronicB 19
A lot of people have to basically be under they're parents rule until they get out of college, if they want any financial help, so OP could be like 21
Drnknmonkey08 12
if the girlfriend is still being grounded then he has no business going out with her
Drnknmonkey08 12
just to clarify I was saying If the OP is 18+ he has no business dating a female that is still getting grounded
ChibiChibi_fml 28
The problem with that is that the female in question, as people are pointing out, could be 18+ but still have to live at home with her parents due to financial reasons resulting in a "My house, my rules" situation. I'm known 25 year olds who have gotten themselves grounded because they were living with their parents and broke house rules.
jared76_fml 11
Funniest post I've ever seen
dcea 17
That's ****** up.