Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML
Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!". Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't". FML
Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "Wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!" Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't." FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML
Today, my friends decided it would be funny to give me a "hickey" with a vacuum cleaner while I was passed out drunk. Not only do I have to try and explain this to my girlfriend, but we're meeting her parents for lunch this afternoon. FML
Today, out of boredom, I decided to dye my hair. I clumsily spilled some of the purple dye on my chest and shoulders. My insane mother is convinced the marks are hickeys I got from sneaking out and having sex with a boyfriend I don’t even have. She won’t listen, and I’m grounded for a month. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend started a fake argument and pretended to be mad at me for four days, which was almost enough time for the gigantic hickey that my best friend gave her on her neck to heal. FML
Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was unsure of the future of our relationship, so he gave me a gigantic hickey to "show the world that I'm his." I work as a cashier and see people I know personally on a daily basis. FML
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Top comments
KabamWolf 22
I incest you go see what happend
Destinee_1 13
As a girl, I'm saying there is a high chance she is bull ******** that.
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Comments (110)
KawaiiPinkie 11
I really hope that was just a really bad exuse. If not, I feel sorry for her.
Wsparta 26
and I thought I heard creepy things in Appalachia...
keiNan_fml 35
sweet home alabama.
gintwinsmoore 20
some things are better left unsaid.
g007_fml 5
Op never stated where exactly the hickey was it could have been on her inner thigh and. Ops gf could have been wearing a swimsuit laying out in the sun while dad walks by and notices. But that sounds unlikely, unless there is another hickey on said gf that op knows nothing about.
Sillsallad 15
"barely an inch from her ******." My panties cover up things an inch from my ******..
Tiannuska 9
Well, since I do this I can see it if she likes to walk around the house in her underwear I mean it's not a secret lots of people like to do that
prostar9993 15
Family of nudists?
kingsolomon6773 11
Perhaps she had only started itching herself in front of her father and while she was itching her stomach the shirt slightly went up and her father had spotted a mark and upon inspecting it he realized what it truly was and consequently grounded his daughter.
mikbrooke 25
that would make logical sense if the hickey were on her stomach. and not an inch from her ******.
wheelchairchick 11
Why do people say itching instead of scratching?
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Probably to be very clear that the action of scratching is being done for a purpose other than self destruction. Think about it without context which statement seems less "violent" " She started scratching her thigh" or "She started itching her thigh" . I'm not speaking to whether it is correct or not, just taking a guess.
Abhinow 7
the assumption i will go with is that op measured the distance wrong. it may be several inches away from her vag.
Drnknmonkey08 12
well OP, I will be the bad guy, but you have got to be dumb to believe this. she is telling you a flat out lie if you correctly measured or eye balled the distance and it can be well covered in short shorts (if it was on the thigh) or bathing suit/panties, no one would be able to see it unless she was naked so therefore, she is lying to you, and is probably seeing another guy and used that as an excuse to not see you/go out with you. most families don't see each other's private areas. EVEN more so fathers and daughters! and if something bad like incest was REALLY going on she would of made up a different lie and wouldn't admit to her dad seeing her naked. so hope you figure it out dude and don't let her string you along, but most people on this thread are pretty skeptical with FAR fetched situations.
psyjoniz 12
what they said ⬆️
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Or her dad walked in on her while she was changing, or getting out of the shower, or in the bathroom. They could also just be a more open family and she was less dressed around him than most would be without thinking about it. It could also be that "Less than an inch from her ******" is a stupid ass way of saying it's on her thigh so if she was in panties of short shorts it would be visible. There is also the possibility that the OP and his Girlfriend are teenagers and the girlfriend is living with a single father and had to go to him for medical type advice involving that area. You know, something along the lines of, "Do you think this is a rash I should get looked at by a doctor or am I ok?" We don't know the whole story. Unless you actually know the dynamics of all the relationships involved here you can not automatically call her a cheater, incestuous, or not interested.
Drnknmonkey08 12
if a parent sees their child naked as a teenager instinctively they will turn around quickly, and if not I WOULD be concerned. less than inch makes me think if the lips of the ****** or the very top close to the hood. a VERY private area. my dad and I are close too and if I ever had something concerning my area I would NEVER go to him I would go to a doctor or explain said "rash" or find pictures online to show , and that is a line you do not CROSS. your comment really is more disturbing than the actual original post and honestly you are just as naive as the OP.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Drnknmonkey08 So because you don't have that kind of relationship with your family you have decided that no one does? I actually know a couple different girls who have no issue going to their dads for stuff like this. One because quite frankly her father was a doctor and the other just because. I'm not saying that that the OP's girlfriend isn't lying. I'm just saying that we the commenters can't say for sure that she is. Also the OP didn't seem that naive considering the FML makes it pretty clear he doesn't really think she's being completely honest either.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Also, while I could be wrong, I highly doubt that the OP gave his girlfriend a hickey on the lips or the hood area. Both of those places would hurt after the fact and neither would feel particularly good during so what would be the point to it? I would assume this hickey would be located somewhere it would actually be pleasurable to get a hickey.