Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML
Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!". Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't". FML
Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "Wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!" Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't." FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML
Today, my friends decided it would be funny to give me a "hickey" with a vacuum cleaner while I was passed out drunk. Not only do I have to try and explain this to my girlfriend, but we're meeting her parents for lunch this afternoon. FML
Today, out of boredom, I decided to dye my hair. I clumsily spilled some of the purple dye on my chest and shoulders. My insane mother is convinced the marks are hickeys I got from sneaking out and having sex with a boyfriend I don’t even have. She won’t listen, and I’m grounded for a month. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend started a fake argument and pretended to be mad at me for four days, which was almost enough time for the gigantic hickey that my best friend gave her on her neck to heal. FML
Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was unsure of the future of our relationship, so he gave me a gigantic hickey to "show the world that I'm his." I work as a cashier and see people I know personally on a daily basis. FML
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Top comments
KabamWolf 22
I incest you go see what happend
Destinee_1 13
As a girl, I'm saying there is a high chance she is bull ******** that.
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Comments (110)
hberri331 18
Maybe she walks around her house naked.. My friend use to do that in hs and it did get her in a lot of trouble.
emokitty91 12
but I think you wouldn't walk around naked knowing you have a man in house I did that at home but I lived with two girls and she had a hickey so even more reason not to
hberri331 18
I think it really depends on the person. My friend would walk around naked in front of her parent and other ppl she was just comfortable that way. But she also could have been wearing really low riding pants or something who knows.
chrisseesyou 11
sounds like bs to me
HoboMeth 36
OP is from Alabama
BigC_from_Bama 16
And you like meth...
1dvos_grl3 21
#99 Just stfu and have a damn sense of humor.
BigC_from_Bama 16
His name is Hobometh.... Balls in your court.
missmisery86 11
you beat me to it. my thoughts exactly
howlinforyou 5
I live in alabama... What does that have to do with this? Is there something I should know?
akai4986 16
she could be making that up to get away from you , and maybe your life is much more worse than you could imagine .. JK
ashley832 18
Well you do live in Alabama..
Grayness_ 26
I'm not from there so I have to ask. what does that even have to do with anything?
ashley832 18
There's a stereotype that people from Alabama like incest.
BigC_from_Bama 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
and its damn retarded to... There's weird shit that happens in every state. just look at freakin Florida! that place is a mad house sometimes!
tigerisabelle 31
#96, you're everywhere. Imagine if I got this pissed every time somebody made a water joke about California. I'd be dead. Lighten up, bro. I'll give you some matches.
harrypotter322 18
Please do not use the word "retarded."
BigC_from_Bama 16
Does not one of you think I'm joking? Its called deadpan. Its you guys who should lighten up. I got a freaking blow tourch if YOU need it!
iwadasn 33
Repeatedly getting butthurt about a joke isn't "deadpan." I don't think you actually know what that term means.
BigC_from_Bama 16
then explain it to me then perhaps? acting mad or annoyed is how I have always known it as. Tell me different.
Bigsam1514 14
Living in Alabama ******* sucks.
sarcasmwins 24
Here we have a perfect example of the shit that should be left unsaid.
rebel33 10
short shorts can show a lot. I bruised my groin really bad playing hockey, and my mom saw and freaked out
worldclassrager 41
Let's hope that was an accidental notice
S1N9UL4R17Y 8
They must be a really close family...
nitrog100 21
You say you're from Alabama. 'Nuff said.