Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "Wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!" Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!". Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't". FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML
Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML
Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML
Today, my friends decided it would be funny to give me a "hickey" with a vacuum cleaner while I was passed out drunk. Not only do I have to try and explain this to my girlfriend, but we're meeting her parents for lunch this afternoon. FML
Today, after a heavy make-out session, my boyfriend and I discovered his lips bruise really easily. This wouldn't be a problem except he's been telling people I hit him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
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Top comments
rotflqtms_ 21
Maybe it's not a hickey but a bruise? Being hopeful here, Haha.
JackWood 20
Soooo, did you keep lapping up the leftovers?
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Comments (11)
rotflqtms_ 21
Maybe it's not a hickey but a bruise? Being hopeful here, Haha.
RichardPencil 30
If you were crazy in the first place, she wouldn't have to look for it elsewhere!
staaacey 30
i hate that "justification." if she needs someone crazier, she could just leave him instead of cheat.
Logan Mueth 3
No reason to blame OP for the girlfriends infidelity.
julfunky 29
It’s not a justification, it’s a joke. Kind of his thing.
UniversalWolf 14
Officer? We got him.
JackWood 20
Soooo, did you keep lapping up the leftovers?
julfunky 29
Repeats. Repeats everywhere. *insert buzz light year meme*
J15237 25
Thats ****** up. I would end it. Period.
jfigley 5
Either shes a selfish bitch and doesn't care to **** other guys behind your back or shes getting back at you for getting other girls behind her back. So which one is it?....
Silverion Sairee 14
Don't jump to conclusions people, a hickey is similar to a bruise cause they're both subdermal hematomas.