Intimacy: Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully... - FML

By Artic - 12/04/2011 04:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 852

You deserved it 16 178

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By anne - 17/12/2011 03:46 - United States

Spicy

Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 900

You deserved it 6 028

Backhanded

By wtf - 14/09/2011 18:11 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 126

You deserved it 4 519

Chubby Love, by Bon Iver

By Anonymous - 11/12/2021 07:59

Spicy

Today, I realised that my husband and I have gotten so fat that his already small dick no longer even reaches me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 1 562

By FML - 02/02/2009 18:27 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 867

You deserved it 10 208

Multitasking

By Anonymous - 09/04/2025 02:00

Spicy

Today, my wife picked up her phone, answered a text, added a few things to her phone's shopping list, and looked at her phone calendar to remind me I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. She did all this whilst my penis was inside her, giving it my best effort as well. Self confidence zero. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 168

Humblebrag

By Anonymous - 01/02/2023 06:00

Spicy

Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 1 279

By Anonymous - 27/04/2011 16:21 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 801

You deserved it 8 020

By littleguy - 20/08/2009 15:55 - United States

Spicy

Today, an extremely attractive woman from FedEx came to deliver my new phone. I was wearing athletic shorts and had an erection. She looked down and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 833

You deserved it 19 274

Let down

By Anonymous - 26/01/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I went on a date with a sweet guy who was 6”11 tall, a size 14 shoe, a 55 inch chest from all his gym muscles, hands like baseball gloves, and gorgeous green eyes… all attached to a 3 inch penis that I could barely feel, and that lasted barely 15 seconds. The foreplay was shit too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 545

By Anonymous - 26/04/2015 07:09 - Australia - Burwood

Spicy

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 023

You deserved it 2 970

Next

Top comments

Alliria 3

Tuesday 12 April 2011 11:57

Am I the only person that feels worse for the guy then the OP?

bgo7 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 11:48

if its true love than it shouldnt matter if his erection ia 3.5 or 10 in!! haha

Comments

OhbbyCx 6

Wednesday 20 April 2011 14:41

That's nothing too BIG to worry about. I mean, it's not like it's a GIGANTIC problem. It could be worse, like, a SMALL bear could get into your house. And eat all of your food. Or something. yourboyfriendhasasmallpenis.

ultraman5 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 4:12

hahaha

volleyballchick9_fml 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 4:13

jezzz, well that sucks for, go tell him to take some bills to grow his dick bigger

FISHIEZ23 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 4:18

lol thats bad :/

Sentimental_fml 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 6:21

wow , he will never have a sex life .

DC111 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 6:49

@737... I totally see what you did there.

denea83 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 12:01

just get yours with toys later lol I can relate : )

K_Mackenzie4296 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 16:41

my boyfriend is 15 and is like 7 1/2 . I'm sorry !! haha

ltk_fml 6

Thursday 21 April 2011 19:47

you don't need a partner with a big penis to have good sex

iHorus_fml 0

Friday 22 April 2011 1:30

ouch... at least it doesnt hurt. and you still love him, do you?

40
41
42
43
44
45
46
47
48
49

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Parenting Poopoo peepee Kids Family Cheating Love NSFW Fight Awkward Sex Intimacy Lonely Shopping AITA Work Make up Money Miscellaneous Dreams Medication Liar Weird Weddings Embarrassing Anniversary Health Confused Healthy Lifestyle Neighbours Noise

The Top

The Top

Today, I was ready to get intimate with my husband 7 months after giving birth to our son. He always made excuses as to why he couldn’t. Our marriage was on the rocks because of this, so when I sat him down to talk he admitted that to save this marriage I need to get a “tummy tuck” and a “breast lift.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 153

You deserved it 262

Today, I'd signed up to try a workout class at the gym. However, as soon as the instructor started the class, I realized it was much more intense than I had anticipated. I ended up passing out and had to be carried out of the class by the instructor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 669

You deserved it 240

Today, I spoke out at a town hall about the lack of affordable housing. I was called a “Marxist” and told to “Move to Canada” by a guy who was vaping and wearing a “Don't Tread on Me” shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 135

Today, I overheard a lady tell her child in a store that, “If you don’t stop crying, I’ll tell that guy over there to take you away.” She was referring to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 113

Today, I thought I was being smooth by using a pickup line on a cute barista. I confidently said, "Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears." She replied, "Actually, I'm a barista, and everyone else is waiting for their coffee. Next!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 1 194

Today, after six months of dating, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because my "obsession" of being on the computer and playing games all the time was cutting into "our time". She then told me to "get a life" and never wanted to see me again. She told me all of this on WoW. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 137

You deserved it 52 799