Intimacy: Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully...

By Artic - 12/04/2011 04:00 - United States

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 852

You deserved it 16 178

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Same thing different taste

By anne - 17/12/2011 03:46 - United States

Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 900

You deserved it 6 028

Backhanded

By wtf - 14/09/2011 18:11 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 126

You deserved it 4 519

Chubby Love, by Bon Iver

By Anonymous - 11/12/2021 07:59

Today, I realised that my husband and I have gotten so fat that his already small dick no longer even reaches me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 1 562

By FML - 02/02/2009 18:27 - United States

Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 867

You deserved it 10 208

Multitasking

By Anonymous - 09/04/2025 02:00

Today, my wife picked up her phone, answered a text, added a few things to her phone's shopping list, and looked at her phone calendar to remind me I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. She did all this whilst my penis was inside her, giving it my best effort as well. Self confidence zero. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 168

Humblebrag

By Anonymous - 01/02/2023 06:00

Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 706

You deserved it 1 279

By Anonymous - 27/04/2011 16:21 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 801

You deserved it 8 020

By littleguy - 20/08/2009 15:55 - United States

Today, an extremely attractive woman from FedEx came to deliver my new phone. I was wearing athletic shorts and had an erection. She looked down and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 833

You deserved it 19 274

Let down

By Anonymous - 26/01/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date with a sweet guy who was 6”11 tall, a size 14 shoe, a 55 inch chest from all his gym muscles, hands like baseball gloves, and gorgeous green eyes… all attached to a 3 inch penis that I could barely feel, and that lasted barely 15 seconds. The foreplay was shit too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 545

By Anonymous - 26/04/2015 07:09 - Australia - Burwood

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 023

You deserved it 2 970

Alliria 3

Tuesday 12 April 2011 11:57

Am I the only person that feels worse for the guy then the OP?

bgo7 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 11:48

if its true love than it shouldnt matter if his erection ia 3.5 or 10 in!! haha

Comments

Calculate900 4

Tuesday 10 May 2011 4:22

I find it so funny that people actually consider penis size important. Seriously. It says a lot about society.

assviolation 0

Wednesday 11 May 2011 21:51

I'm 13 and mines bigger that's just a fail

richard92105 0

Thursday 12 May 2011 0:43

maybe should get a smaller cell phone so he looks bigger

mwahaha1 0

Thursday 12 May 2011 13:37

i is like 5.5 full and im 13 which is very weird for him, was his dick chopped off at any time?

ldssoccer15 0

Monday 16 May 2011 7:26

Love him for who he is not the size of his penis!

coltonp90x 2

Friday 12 August 2011 7:01

Exactly!

gogowin12 0

Thursday 19 May 2011 5:19

Too bad your heart isn't.

surferguy7979 1

Sunday 22 May 2011 7:16

two words...... penis pump!

samboob 5

Sunday 22 May 2011 21:07

How old are you guys like 10?

LeStab 4

Monday 30 May 2011 16:30

Ouch.... I'm sorry OP

ITIvRAPTORvITI 0

Monday 30 May 2011 20:25

not to mention, your cell phone can vibrate :)

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