Intimacy: Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully...

By Artic - 12/04/2011 04:00 - United States

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 852

You deserved it 16 178

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Same thing different taste

By anne - 17/12/2011 03:46 - United States

Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 900

You deserved it 6 028

Backhanded

By wtf - 14/09/2011 18:11 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 126

You deserved it 4 519

Chubby Love, by Bon Iver

By Anonymous - 11/12/2021 07:59

Today, I realised that my husband and I have gotten so fat that his already small dick no longer even reaches me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 1 562

By FML - 02/02/2009 18:27 - United States

Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 867

You deserved it 10 208

Multitasking

By Anonymous - 09/04/2025 02:00

Today, my wife picked up her phone, answered a text, added a few things to her phone's shopping list, and looked at her phone calendar to remind me I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. She did all this whilst my penis was inside her, giving it my best effort as well. Self confidence zero. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 168

Humblebrag

By Anonymous - 01/02/2023 06:00

Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 1 279

By Anonymous - 27/04/2011 16:21 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 801

You deserved it 8 020

By littleguy - 20/08/2009 15:55 - United States

Today, an extremely attractive woman from FedEx came to deliver my new phone. I was wearing athletic shorts and had an erection. She looked down and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 833

You deserved it 19 274

Let down

By Anonymous - 26/01/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date with a sweet guy who was 6”11 tall, a size 14 shoe, a 55 inch chest from all his gym muscles, hands like baseball gloves, and gorgeous green eyes… all attached to a 3 inch penis that I could barely feel, and that lasted barely 15 seconds. The foreplay was shit too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 545

By Anonymous - 26/04/2015 07:09 - Australia - Burwood

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 023

You deserved it 2 970

Alliria 3

Tuesday 12 April 2011 11:57

Am I the only person that feels worse for the guy then the OP?

bgo7 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 11:48

if its true love than it shouldnt matter if his erection ia 3.5 or 10 in!! haha

Comments

ocampnell 0

Friday 22 April 2011 5:37

you are suppose to be with him through thick and thin!

miguelwale 6

Friday 22 April 2011 9:16

don't get mad at him, it's not his fault

snoopy_156 1

Friday 22 April 2011 16:56

shallow *****...

saywhaaat_01 0

Saturday 23 April 2011 0:29

is that even possible???

andrealovvve 17

Saturday 23 April 2011 0:30

Uhh I would leave him.

ItsThisGirl 17

Saturday 23 April 2011 4:34

Viagra maybe?

FreakOfNature332 0

Saturday 23 April 2011 6:08

Wow . Tht suks for yu :P

Adnelson20 2

Sunday 24 April 2011 20:28

Hey, it could be worse, he could have turned out to be a complete dick :)

sushidino 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 21:04

at least he still has a penis

wakeNmakePIZZA 0

Monday 25 April 2011 4:10

dump him, besides, your phone can vibrate

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Today, my religious parents were hosting a family dinner. Not only did we have to wait over an hour for my grandma to finally show up, but when she did, she had her 30 year old boytoy in tow. Apparently, "Granny has needs too you know, hahaha!" Goodbye peaceful family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 344

You deserved it 3 276

Today, my parents lectured me about the importance of family, and how forgiveness is necessary. This came after I stopped speaking to my sister. I cut her out of my life after she slept with a second boyfriend of mine. Apparently, it’s up to me to "be the bigger person." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 336

You deserved it 179

Today, I went out with my ex-boyfriend on a date. The night consisted of me sitting in the back seat of his friend's truck while they drove around to pick up things for the party they were going to have that same night. After they picked everything up, he asked where I wanted to get dropped off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 920

You deserved it 27 405

Today, my wife admitted that she settled for me because I had a good job and made enough for her to live comfortably. I shouldn't worry though, because now she's old enough that she won't be able to pull anyone more exciting or attractive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 84

Today, my ex-boyfriend is moving to my hometown so he can be closer to his new girlfriend, my best friend. To pour lemon juice in the wound, he'd told me just 4 months earlier that he would never move to my hometown, thus ending our long-distance relationship of 2 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 146

Today, I was delivering pizzas for my summer job. I got a big order to deliver for a fellow graduate's party. While I was being paid for the order my friend shows up and says "Don't pay him, his parents are rich, he can handle it." Then they shut the door and took off. The bill was $75. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 647

You deserved it 3 822