Miscellaneous: Today, I found shit on my windshield. I'm not sure if it is human...

By windshitwipers - 30/05/2013 09:41 - United States - Denver

Today, I found shit on my windshield. I'm not sure if it is human or animal, but it was conveniently smeared all over and even more was placed under my wipers just in case I used them to clean it up. This isn't the first time, and I have no idea who I could have pissed off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 216

You deserved it 4 401

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Same thing different taste

By Username - 13/05/2011 08:13

Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 848

You deserved it 6 719

Spooked

By fucking mafia or what?? - 12/01/2013 22:02 - United States - Marysville

Today, I opened my front door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 000

You deserved it 3 454

By oops1234 - 16/04/2009 14:38 - United States

Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 503

You deserved it 17 447

By andrea99 - 03/10/2010 09:35 - United States

Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 657

You deserved it 3 415

Clever

By FMLTIMESTWO - 10/06/2009 04:36 - United States

Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 555

You deserved it 61 960

By birdbath - 08/11/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 888

You deserved it 3 632

By Anonymous - 12/08/2019 04:01

Today, in my tidy, small-town neighborhood, I parked my car 50 metres further back from my usual spot just across from our house on a half-empty public street, because it was taken. Apparently, someone didn't appreciate this. So much so, they put a used condom under my windshield wiper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 503

You deserved it 124

By tristaph - 01/08/2018 00:00

Today, a bird took a dump on my truck as I was driving and the wind pushed it into the keyhole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 369

You deserved it 182

By hold your horses pony boy - 18/04/2014 18:24 - United States

Today, I took my car into a car wash. I guess it was a bad idea to do it with my dog in the car, because he freaked out, started scrambling around, and ended up pissing on everything, me included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 210

You deserved it 13 719

Nature is healing

By kat, ACT - 20/12/2009 14:37 - United States

Today, while driving, we pulled up at a set of traffic lights next to a huge truck with live animals inside. Curious as to exactly what animal, I wound down my window to see if I could hear them, just in time for the truck to take off and cow shit to fly in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 479

You deserved it 11 664

bombroot 9

Thursday 30 May 2013 16:52

Well Set a trap! Next time they try to shit on your windshield they get scared

Enslaved 36

Thursday 30 May 2013 16:57

My guess is-- it's from your dog you don't pick up after. Pissed off neighbours might be making a point.

Comments

TogeBara 12

Thursday 30 May 2013 21:25

place a camera for hunting wildlife hidden nearby so that you can see who is doing it shit on their car profit

k_lylepad 19

Thursday 30 May 2013 22:52

It was Tara. She moved up from peeing on people I guess.

perdix 29

Thursday 30 May 2013 23:25

Looks like a . . . *lowers sunglasses* Aaaaarrrggh! They got me, too!! I'm blind -- I can't see shit! Well, I can see shit, but nothing else. Yuck!

datine22 7

Thursday 30 May 2013 23:31

That sucks... 100% lol

yoursucklives 36

Friday 31 May 2013 0:16

i read a story on 4chan about a guy who ***** in his hands and then does something with it, like smearing it on the windows of houses nearby or so.

Allennis44 16

Friday 31 May 2013 0:33

You know you're about to read a good FML when it starts with, "Today, I found shit on my windshield."

Melix 31

Friday 31 May 2013 1:11

Shit happens bro...

Drifting 21

Friday 31 May 2013 1:31

Time to get a dash cam and leave it on every time you park your car, catch that bastard.

BadKitty13 28

Friday 31 May 2013 1:33

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW ! How Gross and Unsanitary.

BauerMegan 31

Friday 31 May 2013 2:15

Windshitwipers. Hahaha.

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I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 455

Today, my husband and I were role playing to keep our marriage alive. His character was a deranged stalker while I was the helpless girl. My neighbor thought I was really being chased so she called the cops. Once they came we explained the whole story and got a fine for disturbing the peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 853

You deserved it 7 892

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 14 527

You deserved it 1 074

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I agree, your life sucks 32 437

You deserved it 9 944

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I agree, your life sucks 2 296

You deserved it 926

Today, I went to the chiropractor for a check up. She was going through some of the ways to help my posture and mentioned something that I've never heard before. My fat ass thought it was a type of food. Turns out it was a sports routine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 623

You deserved it 2 988

Today, as usual, my period cramps got go bad that I can't eat or drink without taking a pain killer, and end up puking and passing out if I take a pain killer before I eat. Here's to 30 smooth years yet to come. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 345

You deserved it 120

Today, I burned my tongue. With a flat iron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 980

You deserved it 57 710

Same thing different taste

Spooked

Clever

Nature is healing

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