Miscellaneous: Today, I found out yet another of my guy friends liked me. I...

By fail - United States

Today, I found out yet another of my guy friends liked me. I posted that I just wanted a guy friend that had absolutely no romantic feelings for me. My crush volunteered. FML

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34827

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Miscellaneous

Keep your enemies closer

Doomed

Trip Advisor says no

By Hopslammer - United States

Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML

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By IHaveTwoOwies

Today, I pinched a nerve in my shoulder while pulling the bedcovers higher in the morning. After excruciating pain all day, I climbed back into bed at night, twisting my knee in the process. FML

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2987

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365

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By OkieThePokie

Today, I found out that my unborn son has an abnormally large head. I have an abnormally small and narrow pelvis, and I'm allergic to local anesthetic, so no epidural or spinal for me! FML

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5005

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411

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By nakedweddingday - United States - Long Beach

Today, I came home from work to find white fabric and crystals all over the apartment floor. I followed the trail of destruction to my bedroom, where my roommate had left our closet door open. Apparently, her cats decided that my wedding gown was to be their newest conquest. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54778

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By NotAParabola - United States

Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend over webcam with a cute negligee. He was doing homework. Half an hour later, he finally noticed. Apparently pre-calc is more interesting than his girlfriend. I guess polynomials are just curvier than me. FML

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19227

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By Dogmom

Today, I overheard my manager tell a customer that it's perfectly safe for dogs to eat grapes if they're seedless. I work in a pet store. FML

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3135

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By Anonymous - Australia - Sydney

Today, I had dinner with my family for the first time in a couple of days. My mum and dad spent the majority of the time arguing whether salt or pepper weighed more. This is why I'm not home often. FML

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21728

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I was about to go and take a shower when I saw a pair of scissors taped to the door at eye level with a note from my boyfriend saying "Time to trim that hairy thang down under." FML

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By Anonymous

Almost done

Today, as I was trying to have some “self pleasure” time, my cat, WHO NEVER CUDDLES WITH ME, decides to come up and sit on my thigh. FML

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1800

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By foreveralone - United States - Sherman

Today, I was talking to my best friend's brother after we drunkenly hooked up last night. I've had a crush on him for over a year. He ended up interrupting himself and said, "Please don't tell anyone about this. I don't want anyone to think we're dating or anything." FML

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By Sad_Happy_Gorl - United States - University Center

Today, I found out my boyfriend is only staying with me because I’m getting him a signed poster for Christmas. FML

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2143

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By Anonymous - Ukraine - Kiev

Today, my friends told me they have been able to see all my BDSM likes in their Facebook feeds. My family and coworkers also follow me. FML

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By Sica - France

Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML

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26645

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6393

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By shastadoe - United States - Los Banos

Today, my boyfriend told me he was a vampire. I burst out in laughter and said he was ridiculous. He looked at me in disgust and said he couldn't be with someone who didn't trust and believe in him. I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31477

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By FML - United States

Today, I blushed when a fortune cookie said "You have the attitude of a winner." My self esteem is so low. FML

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27676

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4749

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By unemployed - United States - Alhambra

Today, my mom called while I was at a job interview. I ignored the call, but the interviewer was so offended by the fact I'd rudely left it on at all, that he threw me out. I found out from my mom later that she'd called to wish me good luck. FML

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14152

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By crushed - United States

Today, I was hanging with my boyfriend and when his mom came to pick him up, he introduced me. She talked to me politely and i thought we hit it off very well. As I was walking away I hear her say "That's your new girlfriend? Honey, you could do so much better". FML

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81012

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By marcy_89

Today, with 3 miles left of a 16-mile bike ride, I got a flat tire and had to push my bike back to my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1429

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195

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By shanti

Today, my husband cracked a "rectum? damn near killed him" joke at my grandfather's funeral. He had genuinely spoken without thinking, but his quick gasp and "Oh shit" sounded quite sarcastic. We were both kicked out. My family thinks I put him up to the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42818

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By Anonymous - United States - Woodbridge

Today, I was taking a stroll in our yard, when my mother decided it would be hilarious to run me down with her Segway. FML

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28100

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By Annonymous - United States

Today, an exterminator sprayed for cockroaches in my dorm room. After classes I got back to find three large cockroaches on top of my bed. Now that the exterminator has sprayed everything, all the cockroaches are coming out. FML

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26262

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By fstfckd - United States

Today, at college, I was frantically trying to finish an essay on gay rights that was due less than an hour later. In the end I failed, because the college internet filters kept classifying every single page containing the information I needed as "sex", and blocked it all. FML

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By happybirthday - United States

Today, was my birthday. I purposely didn't log onto facebook all day so that I could read all my birthday wishes at once. When I logged on at the end of the day I had one notification. My "friend" had commented on a picture of me, saying I looked like jabba the hut. FML

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74877

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By Anonymoose - United States - West Long Branch

Today, I found out I wasn't cool enough to be invited to a college party that happened last night. The one in charge of inviting people was my girlfriend of two years. FML

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25169

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By jon - Canada - Toronto

Consent

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontanous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML

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32575

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By SnapeIsGood - Germany - Kornwestheim

Today, I hit the gym. With my car. FML

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12289

You deserved it

1822

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By Anonymous - United States - Rockland

Today, I accidentally ripped out my boyfriend's insulin pump while trying to give him a lapdance. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54495

You deserved it

17123

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By Moving On - United States

Today, I found out my parents' New Year's resolution is to get me to move out. FML

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24504

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9492

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By resipsahipsta - United States

Today, I finally cracked the password on my husband's email account. I don't know which is worse: finding out your husband is cheating on you with several people, or finding his password includes his ex-girlfriend's name. FML

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63048

You deserved it

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By SSH - United States

Today, I just got done reading all the healthy benefits that come with sex. One of them is higher self-esteem. Then I remembered that I haven't had sex in 15 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26676

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3464

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By We raised that fool - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I went for a romantic, anniversary meal with my wife. It was amazing, until we had to rush home halfway through because our daughter rang, informing us that her 20-year-old sister had broken her wrist trying to jump from the roof, onto the trampoline and into the pool. She 'miscalculated'. FML

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45215

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By tryingnottocare - United Kingdom

Today, after being supportive for nearly a year, my brother finally came out of the closet and introduced the family to his new boyfriend. His new boyfriend happens to be my ex-boyfriend. Guess I know why that didn't work out now. FML

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55282

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I got home from working late and decided to write a cute email to my girlfriend since I haven't seen her in two weeks. I was about to finish it off when my door swung open, and in a panic, I opened another tab to hide my email. It was porn. FML

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13750

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By life_suxxx - United States

Today, I come home to find that my dog has taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He also took a dump in my house shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33448

You deserved it

4859

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By Liz - France

Today, I was teaching a class but kids were chatting. After 3 soap box speeches about "The next person who talks gets a note to take home," one kid looked right at me and went "meow". FML

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27108

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By Username - United States

Today, a car hit me while I was in a crosswalk. The driver jumped out of her car and stepped over me to check her car for damage. FML

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44078

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By dumbass - United States

Today, I sprained my ankle trying to prove that I can walk in high heels. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8670

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - 15/11/2020 08:08 - United States - Bakerville

Thanksgiving 2020 is going to be a doozy

Today, I'm stuck at my minimum wage job, listening to people who make twice as much as me complain that, "they only get the week off for Thanksgiving." FML

I agree, your life sucks

856

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By :/ - United States - Moreno Valley

Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML

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26000

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By drunkennight - Canada

Today, I woke up after a night out at the bar, immediately remembering that I had lost my cell phone, my ID and somehow spent $100. Feeling like shit already, my friend then goes on to tell me that I flashed the entire bar, and ran around the hotel naked. FML

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Top comments

By xSkittle | 16

#5632870 - Sunday 18 August 2013 12:40

Heartless to post that, those friend who have feelings for you can read it aswell. You got what you deserve.

By GhostChickens | 17

#5632890 - Sunday 18 August 2013 12:52

No sympathy from me, OP. There was no reason for you to post that on Facebook, were you just trying to inflate your ego or something? Your poor friend doesn't need to see that. If you didn't want to date him, you could have just politely declined if he asked you out.

You can't get mad that your crush publicly stated that he didn't fancy you, because that's exactly what you did to your friend.

COMMENTS

By xSkittle | 16

#5632870 - Sunday 18 August 2013 12:40

Heartless to post that, those friend who have feelings for you can read it aswell. You got what you deserve.

your_ma | 27

#5632891 - Sunday 18 August 2013 12:53

Yeah big old YDI for being a thoughtless bitch.

nyrangersfan9 | 13

#5632993 - Sunday 18 August 2013 15:05

If I told a girl I liked her but then saw her post that, well, she wouldn't have the problem of me liking her anymore.

CobraLazerFace | 21

#5633006 - Sunday 18 August 2013 15:16

"But guise, Facebook is the ultimate forum fer mah feelingz and nao has #hastags 4 more expressionz" - What I think OP will post

skyeyez9 | 24

#5633145 - Sunday 18 August 2013 19:08

Written in "lol cat" language.

By baxeh | 29

#5632872 - Sunday 18 August 2013 12:41

Must suck, but he just feels like you felt for your male friends.. Not much to do but get over it and move on, better luck next time!

By BeRT2me | 13

#5632876 - Sunday 18 August 2013 12:44

Sucks to be friendzoned doesn't it...

By calilovesneb | 12

#5632878 - Sunday 18 August 2013 12:44

Careful what you wish for.

By pdp_fml | 21

#5632879 - Sunday 18 August 2013 12:44

Well, maybe you were expecting someone else? How can you expect a guy not to have some feelings for you?

MikeonFML | 17

#5632970 - Sunday 18 August 2013 14:43

I have quite a few friends that are girls that I don't have any romantic feelings for

banemask | 14

#5632999 - Sunday 18 August 2013 15:10

To have romantic feelings for every girl you know is intensely creepy

Queensland | 27

#5633049 - Sunday 18 August 2013 16:27

I didn't know creepy til I saw your picture #68

sematariux | 7

#5633155 - Sunday 18 August 2013 19:14

90, you just made my day with that

By HortonThelephant | 15

#5632880 - Sunday 18 August 2013 12:44

That is a sweet ass form of retribution if I do say so myself..

By Bevspeaks | 11

#5632882 - Sunday 18 August 2013 12:46

Oh friendzone, thou art a cruel and heartless asshole. Welcome to the friendzone, population: you.

MattOnFML | 13

#5632920 - Sunday 18 August 2013 13:38

And the rest of her guy freinds

Bevspeaks | 11

#5632965 - Sunday 18 August 2013 14:40

At least they can all play yahtzee together. Or twister.

starile | 19

#5633150 - Sunday 18 August 2013 19:12

Or Naked Twister

Bevspeaks | 11

#5633159 - Sunday 18 August 2013 19:19

Or naked twister yahtzee

By SexyQueen0905 | 24

#5632884 - Sunday 18 August 2013 12:48

I don't feel bad for you. It's one thing to friend zone your guy friends. But why would you do it publicly on the Internet? That's just cold. Kudos to your crush for giving you a taste of your own medicine.

By LaLince | 40

#5632885 - Sunday 18 August 2013 12:48

you can't seriously think you could control other people's feelings..

By raytyler26 | 16

#5632886 - Sunday 18 August 2013 12:49

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment