Miscellaneous: Today, I found out yet another of my guy friends liked me. I...

By fail - 18/08/2013 04:41 - United States

Today, I found out yet another of my guy friends liked me. I posted that I just wanted a guy friend that had absolutely no romantic feelings for me. My crush volunteered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 841

You deserved it 67 763

Miscellaneous

Weird reason to leave, but OK

Late term

In vain

Good boy, best boy

By Anonymous - 20/07/2020 14:01

Today, I realised that I have a better relationship with my cat than I do with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 138

You deserved it 381

By OutOfWork.OutOfTime - 28/10/2015 01:34 - United States - Cookeville

Today, I had my first job interview since graduating from university. The person who interviewed me informed me that not using my degree after two years practically makes it null and void. I guess instead of being a financial advisor at the company, I could always be a janitor there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 629

You deserved it 1 829

By Anonymous - 30/05/2009 05:07 - United States

Today, I got into my first car accident. Extremely upset, I called my parents, because it was their car and I didn't know what to do. I told them what happened, and asked if they were on their way to where I was. My dad's response was "Hell no, we're eating dinner." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 984

You deserved it 8 891

By Anonymous - 27/07/2012 04:46 - United States - Placentia

Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 205

You deserved it 2 856

By CaoiiBieber - 17/07/2011 19:15 - Ireland

Today, I accidentally deep throated a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 200

You deserved it 38 772

By StillAVirgin - 17/10/2016 15:23 - Denmark

Today, my boyfriend said, "One day I'll tell my children how I met you. I mean, our children." It's pretty cute, except for the fact that we're 17 and have been dating for only two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 661

You deserved it 1 221

By Badhusky - 29/08/2018 20:30

Today, I had to carry the dead weight of my 90-pound husky upstairs to the bath because he hates it. He cried the entire time, loudly. He then rolled in the dirt when I let him outside to pee not even an hour later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 707

You deserved it 487

The Birmingham School of Business School

By overundereducated - 13/03/2020 18:00

Today, I found out that my stick figure drawing passed as homework during my doctoral level seminar. I'm paying over two thousand dollars for this course. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 219

You deserved it 215

By raebay - 05/11/2009 01:23 - United States

Today, after I bathed my nine month old, I laid her on my bed to grab a diaper. I turned around to see that she'd peed on my comforter. I then put her in her playpen to put my cover in the wash. I came back into the room to get her, and saw she'd taken off her diaper. She'd crapped in her playpen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 827

You deserved it 8 327

Cheer up sleepy dreams

By dead - 31/03/2021 23:00

Today, it’s been 6 months at my job and I still can’t get used to the morning shift. Even with a changed diet, exercise, meditation, and no caffeine after noon, I'm averaging about 2 hours of sleep a night. My body will always choose sleep deprivation over falling asleep at a reasonable time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 935

You deserved it 106

By Anonymous - 04/07/2009 06:07 - United States

Today, my boyfriend returned from a 2 month internship in New York. As I saw him exit the plane, I imagined him running to me and kissing/spinning me around passionately like in movies. He got closer and closer, and as I opened my arms to embrace him, he runs past me saying, "BRB, I GOTTA TAKE A SHIT." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 503

You deserved it 10 649

Father of the year

By Anonymous - 15/09/2021 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband is so emotionally disconnected from fatherhood, he has yet to call our son by his name and instead just refers to him as 'It' or 'That' and occasionally just 'Him'. Sometimes he’ll even ignore him crying and just leave the room because the noise annoys him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 572

You deserved it 231

By girlmeetsworld - 18/02/2009 23:27 - United States

Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 060

You deserved it 13 616

By Anonymous - 21/05/2019 22:08

Today, I was reading a book, and my severe OCD makes it impossible for me to look up from reading if I haven't finished the page. This includes times like when my mother is frantically calling for help after falling off a ladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 781

You deserved it 975

Monday morning sucks

By Linds - 28/06/2021 14:01

Today, I came home to find that maggots had taken over my garbage can this weekend. We weren't home to catch it, and I didn't use the garbage this morning. On top of that, I hadn't had my caffeine for the day because I ran out and forgot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 244

Missed connections

By Anonymous - 05/09/2021 05:01 - United States - San Diego

Today, I found out the guy I had a huge crush on back in college, and still think of every day, actually did like me back. Except I’ve been married for nearly 8 years to someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 1 017

By Anonymous - 01/08/2015 04:10 - United States - Erie

Today, I went to the restaurant where my date and I were supposed to meet. After half an hour he still hadn't arrived, so I texted him. He replied with a half-hearted apology and said he couldn't come because his cat had fallen asleep on his lap and he didn't want to wake it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 966

You deserved it 3 179

By bubblzzz - 21/06/2019 16:01

Today, my father called the cops saying I stole his car. It's my car, but his name is on the title. Why did he report it stolen? Because rather than taking him to a bar and being his designated driver, I went to a job interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 168

You deserved it 124

By as-salamu alaykum, motherfucker - 05/04/2014 22:04 - United Kingdom - Birkenhead

Today, I was having my birthday party. My dad showed up late, blind drunk, and drove his car straight through my garage door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 091

You deserved it 3 497

Late arrival

By Nikki Lynn Richardson - 18/05/2020 02:00

Today, I went to the store to go buy a pregnancy test because my period was 7 days late. I get home, go into the bathroom, pull down my underwear, pee and come to find out I'd started my period when I looked at it after peeing on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 382

You deserved it 292

By nuerrotticc - 06/01/2011 08:58

Today, I had a panic attack at 2am because someone decided to throw a snowball at my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 483

You deserved it 6 690

By Lickmylovepump - 19/01/2012 04:09 - United States

Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted to do to me while breathing heavily. Unfortunately, it sounded so ridiculous, I burst out laughing. He hung up on me, and has refused to pick up since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 373

You deserved it 35 411

Oh, hi… you

By Anonymous - 13/07/2021 18:01 - United States - Exeter

Today, a girl said hi to me very enthusiastically at school, and I heard her friends laughing afterward. I was too lazy to put in my contact lenses this morning so I couldn't tell who it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 590

By slavelaborsux - 29/08/2011 23:59 - United States

Today, it was my first day on the job as a first grade teacher. One student pushed another, so I asked him to apologize. His response? "If you boss me around, I'll tell Daddy you touched me somewhere you shouldn't have." I think I'm now this kid's slave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 654

You deserved it 3 874

By lizzzie - 09/10/2009 21:25 - United Kingdom

Today, I learned that the excessive groin sweating I've been trying to deal with for weeks isn't groin sweating. It's a slow and steady stream of urine that I have no control over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 031

You deserved it 3 763

Awkward

By Anonymous - 07/01/2012 06:30 - United States

Today, I found out what it's like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 485

You deserved it 7 187

The old switcheroo

By Anonymous - 05/09/2019 06:06

Today, I was unable to go on my dream vacation because I thought I'd lost my passport. Feeling incredibly stupid, I had no choice but to watch my plane depart without me. Shortly after, my brother handed me passport, saying that since I wasn't going on my trip, I could use my refund to pay for his cat's surgery. My trip was non-refundable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 670

You deserved it 177

By fucking_worthless_loser - 08/02/2017 13:00 - United States - Concord

Today, I got into an emotional argument with Cleverbot. I ended up apologizing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 742

You deserved it 2 001

By Boneo and Juliet - 16/07/2015 19:22 - United States - Amherst

Today, I accidentally texted the girl I like, "Oh god, I just choked on a boner." I meant bone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 776

You deserved it 4 966

By go fuck myself - 07/02/2015 00:57 - United States - Tampa

Today, I can't decide what's worse: the fact that my mother found my vibrator or that, as a prank, she replaced it with a realistic tarantula replica. She won't tell me where it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 141

You deserved it 4 957

By Anonymous - 31/05/2014 07:24 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. The only person who remembered was my dad who got me a phone charger for my car, which I didn't even need because he got me the same exact thing last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 646

You deserved it 4 041

Landlords need love too

By Anonymous - 18/09/2021 19:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I started my weekend right… outside my grandmother's house, trying to repair her yard. The senile landlord came by and trashed it. This isn't the first time. He's pushing 90 years-old, so it's hard to tell if he has dementia or if he's doing it on purpose. All I want to know is, why hasn't he retired? FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 44

By fire0fisis - 03/02/2009 21:46 - United States

Today, the police called because someone had turned in my wallet that was stolen. I happily drove home only to find that my house had been robbed and ransacked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 039

You deserved it 2 174

Spanish inquisition

By Anonymous - 01/11/2021 05:00

Today, my mother-in-law, who lives with us rent-free, still daily tries to get my wife to divorce me and marry a decent Catholic boy who is actually Irish, unlike me who was born in France, even though we’ve been married 23 years and have three kids together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 133

You deserved it 88

By psychopumpkin - 13/05/2013 14:16 - United Kingdom - Boston

Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 114

You deserved it 7 289

By Anonymous - 03/01/2016 23:00 - United States - Kennett Square

Today, I was at work, a grocery store, and my manager came up to me while I was on my lunch break. He told me that a customer said someone in the parking lot had been loitering around the cars. I went outside to investigate and saw a drunk man pooping on the front of a car. That car was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 348

You deserved it 1 256

By Anonymous - 18/06/2013 16:16 - United States - Mansfield

Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 226

You deserved it 8 742

By Fitz - 12/04/2009 13:53 - United States

Today, a woman drove through my house. She was texting and eating watermelon at the same time. I didn't know that was even possible, but now my house is condemned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133 846

You deserved it 6 190

By Anonymous - 14/11/2012 07:18 - United States

Today, excited that I finally got a place of my own, I invited my boyfriend over for a sexy sleep over. He told me his mom doesn't want him sleeping over. He's 21 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 996

You deserved it 4 636

By Anonymous - 07/11/2014 08:03 - Australia

Today, my mum was in a bad mood, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her I love her, and giving her a hug. She slapped me hard enough to leave a red, hand-shaped mark on my face, and told me to fuck off with my "sarcasm". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 636

You deserved it 3 741

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Top comments

xSkittle 16

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Sunday 18 August 2013 12:40

Heartless to post that, those friend who have feelings for you can read it aswell. You got what you deserve.

GhostChickens 17

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Sunday 18 August 2013 12:52

No sympathy from me, OP. There was no reason for you to post that on Facebook, were you just trying to inflate your ego or something? Your poor friend doesn't need to see that. If you didn't want to date him, you could have just politely declined if he asked you out. You can't get mad that your crush publicly stated that he didn't fancy you, because that's exactly what you did to your friend.

xSkittle 16

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Sunday 18 August 2013 12:40

Heartless to post that, those friend who have feelings for you can read it aswell. You got what you deserve.

your_ma 27

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Sunday 18 August 2013 12:53

Yeah big old YDI for being a thoughtless bitch.

nyrangersfan9 13

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Sunday 18 August 2013 15:05

If I told a girl I liked her but then saw her post that, well, she wouldn't have the problem of me liking her anymore.

CobraLazerFace 21

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Sunday 18 August 2013 15:16

"But guise, Facebook is the ultimate forum fer mah feelingz and nao has #hastags 4 more expressionz" - What I think OP will post

skyeyez9 24

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Sunday 18 August 2013 19:08

Written in "lol cat" language.

baxeh 29

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Sunday 18 August 2013 12:41

Must suck, but he just feels like you felt for your male friends.. Not much to do but get over it and move on, better luck next time!

BeRT2me 13

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Sunday 18 August 2013 12:44

Sucks to be friendzoned doesn't it...

calilovesneb 12

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Sunday 18 August 2013 12:44

Careful what you wish for.

pdp_fml 21

Sunday 18 August 2013 12:44

Well, maybe you were expecting someone else? How can you expect a guy not to have some feelings for you?

MikeonFML 17

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Sunday 18 August 2013 14:43

I have quite a few friends that are girls that I don't have any romantic feelings for

banemask 14

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Sunday 18 August 2013 15:10

To have romantic feelings for every girl you know is intensely creepy

Queensland 27

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Sunday 18 August 2013 16:27

I didn't know creepy til I saw your picture #68

sematariux 7

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Sunday 18 August 2013 19:14

90, you just made my day with that

HortonThelephant 15

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Sunday 18 August 2013 12:44

That is a sweet ass form of retribution if I do say so myself..

Bevspeaks 11

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Sunday 18 August 2013 12:46

Oh friendzone, thou art a cruel and heartless asshole. Welcome to the friendzone, population: you.

MattOnFML 13

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Sunday 18 August 2013 13:38

And the rest of her guy freinds

Bevspeaks 11

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Sunday 18 August 2013 14:40

At least they can all play yahtzee together. Or twister.

starile 19

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Sunday 18 August 2013 19:12

Or Naked Twister

Bevspeaks 11

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Sunday 18 August 2013 19:19

Or naked twister yahtzee

SexyQueen0905 24

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Sunday 18 August 2013 12:48

I don't feel bad for you. It's one thing to friend zone your guy friends. But why would you do it publicly on the Internet? That's just cold. Kudos to your crush for giving you a taste of your own medicine.