Miscellaneous: Today, I found out yet another of my guy friends liked me. I...

By fail - United States

Today, I found out yet another of my guy friends liked me. I posted that I just wanted a guy friend that had absolutely no romantic feelings for me. My crush volunteered. FML

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34833

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Miscellaneous

There's no helping some people

Season finale

Freak Scene

By whyme - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend his shirt and pants did not match and that he should change for dinner. All my belongings are now on the sidewalk. FML

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28581

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By Anonymous - 23/3/2021 00:30

Grow up

Today, my father came to my sister's place and yelled at her, "I knew it, you're such a whore!" because she slept with her new boyfriend. He's her first boyfriend in five years, since my father scared her previous boyfriend because of my father's possessive behavior. My sister is 34. FML

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1254

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to chase my dog all the way down the street, watching in horror as she proudly showed all of my neighbors my bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32754

You deserved it

5921

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By crayons128 - United States

Today, I was at a fire roasting marshmallows. When mine caught on fire, I pulled it back so I could blow out the flames. It flew off the stick, and, still flaming, landed on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31958

You deserved it

6576

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By Sarah - United Kingdom

Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

71501

You deserved it

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By justpeachy - United States

Today, I was invited by my boyfriend's parents for dinner at their house. The dinner went well I thought, until I was getting ready to leave. Before I could make it out the front door, I could hear them discussing their disappointment that their son would ever consider someone like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33412

You deserved it

2530

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By Sherressa - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I saw my friend's car in front of school. I'd had a bad day and just wanted to talk with her. I got in and sat down, and felt something squish beneath me. Turns out it wasn't actually my friend's car, and I'd just sat on a random woman's cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39553

You deserved it

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By foutu - France

Today, while my wife was watching me get undressed she said "Bloody hell, you really are getting a beer belly. And it makes your already tiny willy look even tinier." All her accusations are true. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26613

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - United States - Ithaca

Today, I discovered that when you suddenly get channels that you didn't have before, it doesn't mean there was a glitch and you're getting free TV, it just means that your son called the cable company and had your plan changed so you get every conceivable channel at a hugely increased price. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37655

You deserved it

5231

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By warp_routine - United States

Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML

I agree, your life sucks

200467

You deserved it

13849

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By Anonymous - Taiwan

Today, I went to a club and my friends and I went up on the stage, then the security told me to get down and said the stage was only for girls. I'm 23. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

65179

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6771

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By Inconnu - France

Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that's what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML

I agree, your life sucks

56443

You deserved it

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By WELL FUCK YOU KINDLY, MA'AM - United States - Endicott

Today, I had to forcibly separate a boy from my daughter after he grabbed her and started shoving her around. I complained to his mother, only to have her shout, "mind your fucking business" and say that her son can do whatever the hell he wants. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33771

You deserved it

1914

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By crappy_day - United States

Today, as I went to the bathroom in a port-a-potty at a park, I forgot to lock the door. A little girl opens the door and then slams it right away. As she walked away I heard her say "no, there's a man in there". I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27531

You deserved it

5761

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By Anonymous - Norway

Today, a truck rear-ended my car and drove off. I could see everything from my office, everything except his license plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28237

You deserved it

1874

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By Bummed

Today, I found out that after interviewing for two jobs at great companies, I was neck and neck with one other person for each position. They both offered the job to the other person. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14873

You deserved it

967

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By Guy - Romania - Bucharest

Today, my girlfriend dumped me after I told her I found out I have diabetes. She thought it was an STD and I had cheated on her. So I explained what it really was and she dumped me again because she didn't want her future children to inherit my fucked up DNA. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30553

You deserved it

2049

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By Anonymous - United States - Denison

Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40082

You deserved it

4355

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By HelpMe1 - Indonesia - Jakarta

Today, my boss told me to fire the unstable, former military, gun nut employee. He's been making death threats to his supervisors. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36164

You deserved it

2930

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By Felix - Ireland

Today, my 1 month old kitten peed all over my kitchen floor. I wanted to get some water out of one of drawers and slipped on the piss. My phone shattered and i dislocated my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2577

You deserved it

409

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By Pantsontheground - United States - New York

Looking like a fool...

Today, my pants kept falling down. Since I didn't have a belt on, I decided to tuck the waistband around my underwear to keep them in place. While on a date, I tried to adjust my pants, but ended up pulling them down along with my boxers. In the middle of a restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1367

You deserved it

2904

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By sotired - Australia - Mona Vale

Today, my neighbour's puppy has developed separation anxiety. Every time my neighbour leaves for work, the puppy constantly whines and barks until he gets home. He works night shifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36147

You deserved it

2401

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By waitress - United States

Today, I was waitressing when a man sat at my table with soda from somewhere else. Drinks are half the profit for restaurants. There is a strict policy that you have to charge for carry-in drinks. I told him this, he yelled at me so I told him I was doing my job. I got fired, for doing my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58497

You deserved it

4258

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By badsister - United States

Today, I made a batch of "special" brownies for a party I was going to tonight. I wrapped them up and put them on the counter with a note that said DO NOT EAT. Later on I came home from some errands to find a tray of half eaten brownies and my ten year old sister passed out on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14121

You deserved it

59336

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By Rmglrsm

Today, at work, I was helping someone who really sounded like she had a Boston accent. So, I asked her where she was from. She has never been out of state. Turns out she has a speech impediment. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12880

You deserved it

1749

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By RensM - New Zealand

Today, I went to the movies. I was seated next to a woman who talked through the film and said: "Awwww" every time she saw a primate. I went to see 'Rise of Planet of the Apes'. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38125

You deserved it

3100

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By John - United States

Today, I took my 15 year old daughter driving. I yelled at her for not going safely around corners. On the way home, while demonstrating how to drive right, I went around a corner and hit a cement truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8354

You deserved it

57810

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up early to go to church with my parents. When I got in the car, I was struck with the worst diarrhea I've ever had in my life. My parents told me I'd be cleaning the car out when we got there, because if we turned around, we'd be late. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29444

You deserved it

3192

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By tsardaukar - United States

Today, bouncing at a local bar. I I.D.'d a girl with a group of people. I told her that next time she used a fake I.D., she at least should get one with a picture that looked like her. She started crying and ran off. A guy told me that she had been in a car wreck, and had been badly disfigured. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57462

You deserved it

72448

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By cammy123 - United States

Today, I went to Target. I was on my way to the bathroom when I find a huge mirror. No one was around so I started to see how my butt looked in my jeans, checked up my nose and fixed my bra. An older woman then walks out of a door next to the mirror and explains that it's a two-way mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21551

You deserved it

47116

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By BlueSuit - United States - New York

Today, my boss gave me some mentorship. She told me, "You need to learn to let people do things for you. Until then, I'm going to micromanage your project because I want it done my way." FML

I agree, your life sucks

18441

You deserved it

1392

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By Jrex89 - United States - Washington

Today, I got woken up and kicked out of bed. Apparently if I cheat in her dreams it still counts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33585

You deserved it

3161

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By explosivepeach - United States - Silver Spring

Today, on my second day as a lifeguard, I locked myself out of the pool. My angry guests and I had to wait for 45 minutes for my manager to arrive and unlock the gate. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26564

You deserved it

5868

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By Anonymous - Canada - Clairmont

Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53769

You deserved it

10220

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By willtype4food - Finland

Today, uncertain of having a job next month or being able to pay rent, I'm filling out tens of online surveys a day for gift cards to McDonald's, to buy hamburgers that I can freeze so I will have food for the coming months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27723

You deserved it

2904

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By Celewyn - Australia

Today, my patient knocked my glasses off as I assisted him in the shower. We both looked in terror as they fell into his unflushed toilet. This patient was isolated due to a contagious infection. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11987

You deserved it

1013

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By newly single teetotaler - 23/10/2020 23:01

Cute trick, asshole

Today, the guy I've been seeing decided to "test the theory" that I can't drink alcohol due to a liver condition by mixing some into my drinks. He then complained that my ceaseless vomiting made his bathroom smell bad, and only took me to hospital when I started having a seizure. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1857

You deserved it

302

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By forewhatnow - Australia

Today, my boyfriend took me out to a really romantic dinner. Later, I lost my virginity. The chicken was better than he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26553

You deserved it

9755

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By takinabreak - United States

Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML

I agree, your life sucks

65759

You deserved it

33469

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By iVaughtTV - United States

Today, I learned that lemonade and urine look very similar to one another. I also learned that they taste very different. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18086

You deserved it

24446

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Top comments

By xSkittle | 16

#5632870 - Sunday 18 August 2013 12:40

Heartless to post that, those friend who have feelings for you can read it aswell. You got what you deserve.

By GhostChickens | 17

#5632890 - Sunday 18 August 2013 12:52

No sympathy from me, OP. There was no reason for you to post that on Facebook, were you just trying to inflate your ego or something? Your poor friend doesn't need to see that. If you didn't want to date him, you could have just politely declined if he asked you out.

You can't get mad that your crush publicly stated that he didn't fancy you, because that's exactly what you did to your friend.

COMMENTS

By xSkittle | 16

#5632870 - Sunday 18 August 2013 12:40

Heartless to post that, those friend who have feelings for you can read it aswell. You got what you deserve.

your_ma | 27

#5632891 - Sunday 18 August 2013 12:53

Yeah big old YDI for being a thoughtless bitch.

nyrangersfan9 | 13

#5632993 - Sunday 18 August 2013 15:05

If I told a girl I liked her but then saw her post that, well, she wouldn't have the problem of me liking her anymore.

CobraLazerFace | 21

#5633006 - Sunday 18 August 2013 15:16

"But guise, Facebook is the ultimate forum fer mah feelingz and nao has #hastags 4 more expressionz" - What I think OP will post

skyeyez9 | 24

#5633145 - Sunday 18 August 2013 19:08

Written in "lol cat" language.

By baxeh | 29

#5632872 - Sunday 18 August 2013 12:41

Must suck, but he just feels like you felt for your male friends.. Not much to do but get over it and move on, better luck next time!

By BeRT2me | 13

#5632876 - Sunday 18 August 2013 12:44

Sucks to be friendzoned doesn't it...

By calilovesneb | 12

#5632878 - Sunday 18 August 2013 12:44

Careful what you wish for.

By pdp_fml | 21

#5632879 - Sunday 18 August 2013 12:44

Well, maybe you were expecting someone else? How can you expect a guy not to have some feelings for you?

MikeonFML | 17

#5632970 - Sunday 18 August 2013 14:43

I have quite a few friends that are girls that I don't have any romantic feelings for

banemask | 14

#5632999 - Sunday 18 August 2013 15:10

To have romantic feelings for every girl you know is intensely creepy

Queensland | 27

#5633049 - Sunday 18 August 2013 16:27

I didn't know creepy til I saw your picture #68

sematariux | 7

#5633155 - Sunday 18 August 2013 19:14

90, you just made my day with that

By HortonThelephant | 15

#5632880 - Sunday 18 August 2013 12:44

That is a sweet ass form of retribution if I do say so myself..

By Bevspeaks | 11

#5632882 - Sunday 18 August 2013 12:46

Oh friendzone, thou art a cruel and heartless asshole. Welcome to the friendzone, population: you.

MattOnFML | 13

#5632920 - Sunday 18 August 2013 13:38

And the rest of her guy freinds

Bevspeaks | 11

#5632965 - Sunday 18 August 2013 14:40

At least they can all play yahtzee together. Or twister.

starile | 19

#5633150 - Sunday 18 August 2013 19:12

Or Naked Twister

Bevspeaks | 11

#5633159 - Sunday 18 August 2013 19:19

Or naked twister yahtzee

By SexyQueen0905 | 24

#5632884 - Sunday 18 August 2013 12:48

I don't feel bad for you. It's one thing to friend zone your guy friends. But why would you do it publicly on the Internet? That's just cold. Kudos to your crush for giving you a taste of your own medicine.

By LaLince | 40

#5632885 - Sunday 18 August 2013 12:48

you can't seriously think you could control other people's feelings..

By raytyler26 | 16

#5632886 - Sunday 18 August 2013 12:49

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway