Today, while at my brother's funeral, my girlfriend decided to tell me she'd been sleeping with him. FML

Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML

That's that, then

Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML

Today, my girlfriend of 2 months decided to wrestle with my younger brother. He has gotten more action than I have. FML

Today, I found the list my wife made of the things she was going to give up for Lent. The first one was "Sex with other men". FML

Foundations

Today, I caught the woman I’ve been dating for a few weeks in bed with my brother. We’ve not had sex yet. If she wanted a relationship with him, why not say so instead of wasting my time? This truly feels like I did the work digging the trench, but my brother got to lay the pipe. FML

Today, after months of trying to make my girlfriend orgasm, she finally did. It was with my brother. I'll definitely knock next time. FML

Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML

Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML

Keep it in the family

Today, I found out why my boyfriend won't come over anymore. He and my brother apparently had a "thing" before we started dating. FML