Today, I found out that the white marks on my pillow aren't from me drooling in my sleep like I originally thought. My roommate used my pillow to help support her lower back during intercourse with her hookup from last night. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, my friend spent the night. I now know that she masturbates in her sleep. FML
Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Today, I woke up in bed with no pillows. I think the guy I slept with stole them. FML
Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML
Today, I realized that I'm a sleepwalker and for the past week, that dream where I was giving my roommate a blowjob was real. He just pretended it never happened. FML
Today, I came home to find out my roommate had sex in my bed, because he didn't want his date to know he has a smaller bed. FML
Today, after sleeping with a guy I met at a party, I woke up to find him peeing in the corner of my room on my roommate's carpet. FML
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Top comments
Bobby64 29
People on FML sure have great friends and roommates. :/ Yuck.
iburppeopleup 0
just do the same to her, or pull another awful thing like mix bleach in her shampoo, fill her body wash or shampoo with nair... get revenge bitch!
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Comments (76)
OhFiona1 0
Wow, that is gross.
sallen0046 4
If your bedding and pillows have visible stains on them, you need to wash them more frequently no matter who those stains belong to.
dudehaha 4
it's called sex -not intercourse. that's why you haven't had it.
Shadow_Phantom 26
Actually, that's correct terminology, and don't judge people by what they say~ @OP: That's sick and wrong...
cjlerch 29
"Sex" is a slang term. The proper term is "Sexual Intercourse," hence "Sex" and "Intercourse."
dvl2035 10
hahaha u het **** in the mouth every night..
Jonkbaby 23
its kinda hot
PhillyFox 0
Smother her with it.
JosieBongs 0
That's ok. I would piss on her entire bed. ENTIRE bed.
claireful 4
you would have to drink A LOT of water....
RichardRocks 3
I agree. that sucks. not for ur roommate though.
yungking2013 0
Yo I would have kicked that ass
xoxoMEGANxoxo 13
OMG. that's just awkward