Today, I found out that the white marks on my pillow aren't from me drooling in my sleep like I originally thought. My roommate used my pillow to help support her lower back during intercourse with her hookup from last night. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, my friend spent the night. I now know that she masturbates in her sleep. FML
Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Today, I woke up in bed with no pillows. I think the guy I slept with stole them. FML
Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML
Today, I realized that I'm a sleepwalker and for the past week, that dream where I was giving my roommate a blowjob was real. He just pretended it never happened. FML
Today, I came home to find out my roommate had sex in my bed, because he didn't want his date to know he has a smaller bed. FML
Today, after sleeping with a guy I met at a party, I woke up to find him peeing in the corner of my room on my roommate's carpet. FML
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Top comments
Bobby64 29
People on FML sure have great friends and roommates. :/ Yuck.
iburppeopleup 0
just do the same to her, or pull another awful thing like mix bleach in her shampoo, fill her body wash or shampoo with nair... get revenge bitch!
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Comments (76)
goldfish78 11
put some glue on your pillow next time.
Decodedman 1
#14 Nah. Empty out their Ultraglide and substitute that hand sanitizer gel.
VioletRayOfSunsh 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI for using the word "intercourse"..prude.
Peasanthunter_fml 0
First!
rockinroyalty 0
that's for being a 2timer
hellogoodbye1996 6
not prude how about using the correct term.
Misumi09 0
LMAO ! Gross ! >.<
meowmeowwkitty 0
YUCK!
southerngalslove 15
WTF? Why would your drool have been white? I thought it'd be clear..???
guy0ne101 0
cool story bro
DaleksAreEpic 0
No shit, Sherlock.
Atishuh 0
#23 You dumbass. XD And looks like someones gonna have wet dreams tonight.
Cass3m0 0
I think if it was drool, there'd be some on your face in the morning, no?