Today, I found out that my roommate has been switching my protein powder with chocolate milk mix and brown sugar. Since I work out frequently, I've been consuming large amounts of this and have gained at least 10 pounds of fat. His reason? I turned his bookbag inside out. Once. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I found out that my psycho roommate replaced my milk with milk of magnesia. How? By taking a huge gulp. Tonight is going to be fun. FML
Today, I found out that my husband thinks I'm fat when I caught him slipping diet pills into my morning smoothie. FML
Today, I made a protein shake at the gym. I somehow didn't screw the lid on tight enough, so when I took one huge gulp, the shake exploded all over my face, shirt, and the gym mirror. Now I look like I lost a fight with a chocolate milkshake. FML
Today, I told my roommate that I was trying to lose weight, so she kindly removed all the junk food from the kitchen. I just found it all hidden under her bed. Apparently, she didn’t trust me enough to resist temptation, and she was absolutely correct. FML
Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML
Today, I decided to start working out because my friends said I'm scrawny and weak. I bought an expensive giant container of protein powder to take before during work outs. I wasn't strong enough to open the lid. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan and threw all of MY meats, cheeses, chocolates and even beans for some reason in the trash, because he "doesn't need that kind of toxic waste" in his life. FML
Today, I woke up to my roommate trying to put a burrito and a pack of mild sauce in between my boobs. He's only lived here for two weeks, and this is the second time I've woken up to him doing something like this. FML
Today, my roommate left those powdered donuts in the kitchen. Hungry, I decided to try one. Turns out, the white powder wasn't sugar. It was cocaine. FML
Today, I brought a huge chocolate bar to work, left it in the break room, and came back to find it gone. Later, I saw a coworker with chocolate all over his face and fingers. I asked him if he took it, and he said, in almost offended tone, “What? No, that’s mine.” FML
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Top comments
MooseKnuckle503 11
You couldn't tell?
OhDearBetrayal 25
Don't mess with a man's book bag, man. It ain't right.
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Comments (137)
bimmergeek 5
Yawn. Who cares?
fresh247 10
whip is ass
BeanBrick 10
Whip is to ass, as paddle is to thigh.
Amishanthony 6
Besides the obvious of asking how you couldn't tell the difference...why were you consuming so much?
klutz44 28
Because OP works out frequently
kalbrek009 20
Trying to bulk up...but in muscle, not fat...still, he's an idiot for not noticing that choc milk & brown sugar taste NOTHING like protein drink...that is unless, of course it was his first time ever drinking it & didn't know it doesn't taste that way.
kittenmeownyan 18
Fyl op
BlowinChronic 18
FELLOW FML COMMENTERS, we have a moron in or midst. Take up arms and do whatever is necessary to bury this sorry excuse of a comment, and then find who sent it. No mercy.
BeanBrick 10
Well, I've got the last bit done. It appears to have been "sent" by the user BlowinChronic.
BlowinChronic 18
Come at me bro :P
CaptainSaveAHoe 11
don't try to rally the armies of fml when you can't even sense me behind you. *slices throat* your dragon powers are weak.
kittenmeownyan 18
How is it moronic? You're the only one looking like a fool
dionhart 4
Sounds like the struggle to me more incentive to work out chubby mcfat :p
PirateNED 3
YDI. screwing with a bookbag is no joke.
simply_elle13 5
i dont think turning his book back inside out was the reason. maybe he is jealous that you are getting muscular and doesnt want you to be more fit than him. so he decided to make you gain weight.
JanisEvans 10
A) People work out A LOT without protein shakes. So there's not really a correlation there. B) For reasons above I don't know how a protein shake would taste, but I'm convinced it'd be very different from chocolate and sugar. C) You only noticed after piling on 10 whole pounds? D) Don't mess with books, read them! (Might help with A-C)
RedPillSucks 31
Maybe he thought he was bulking up until he realized that his arms were still scrawny and his moobs and abs were getting bigger.
DemonNecron 9
Seems to be a fair trade
incendiaaa 23
how dare you?! you deserved it. especially since your punishment was yummy goodness. also, i'm pretty sure protein powder tastes different to what he replaced it with.