By Just_Me_88 - 18/08/2012 05:09 - United States - Salem
Just_Me_88 tells us more.
Well, I am OP, and I am indeed 23...I met my husband when I was 18....and his ex was 17. She "lied" to him about her age. I am amazed I have bought it for so long. Yup, he is certainly a soon-to-be ex. Right after he loses his jewels. (kidding...maybe, lol) My soon-to-be-ex just turned 36.
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What she didn't say is that her and the husband are on 16 and pregnant
I wouldn't have said that mattered, but I'd say they're in their mid to late twenties! Also, it's a divorce when you're married, if it were as simple as dumping them everyone would be married!
I don't usually say this, especially for minor things, but that should say "soon to be ex-husband"
Pedobear would be proud, but I'm sorry OP.
Noo, she shouldn't just divorce him, my ex husband did this(except she was 14). He's just gotten out of prison last year and is on the run and wanted again. Free divorce and you get everything, he gets charges. Seriously it's a bad situation. But don't make the same mistake I did, OP. get a lawyer before you talk to the detectives. If he does it once, he will do it again to another child. Don't let that disgusting bastard get away with it. It's up to you now to save future innocents. Sorry for such a serious message. :( this is a serious sore spot for me.
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Show it anywayPerdix, yes i got question, what if this asshole don't learn anything and go ahead and do the same thing to another kid while OP is pregnant?
yknow, if OP still loves him (which is a possibility, though she may not trust him anymore), she should show him that by either forgiving (which is pretty fricking hard when he knocked up the neighbor) or divorce him quietly and not make a massive fuss about it.
Perdix, son you're saying that its okay to look stupid just because it will show you to the world a bad ass? Man what world do you live in? And its okay to lose all the money etc and ruin your own life just because to teach some idiot asshole a lesson? Ummm interesting!
Perdix, your original comment is ridiculous. No self respecting woman would continue to have sex, let alone stay in a relationship, with a pedophile. The women who do constantly deny or make up excuses for their husband's deplorable behavior. Trust me when I tell you that family members are NOT off limits to some pedophiles. If she decided to stay in the relationship, she'd possibly be putting her own child at risk in addition to other family members. Your response to 161 was way off. I'm in the medical field. Believe it or not, teens and adults suffer from "it'll never happen to me" syndrome. It doesn't matter to some people whether they have prior knowledge about their potential partner's STI status, so saying he has herpes won't deter everyone. Besides, spreading such rumors is slander.
Ur a bitch for saying that STFU
I don't know why everybody's jumping on Perdix; are you guys new here? Perdix is not serious. Perdix is never serious. Perdix is legendary here. Check his profile.
#240, You're a bitch for insulting people for using acronyms while you're too lazy to type out the word "you're". c:
I lost all respect for u perdix.. I thought you were better than that. :(
#129 and 210, Good advice. You are absolutely right: guys like this will commit the same crime (yes, even against family and own kids, too) if not caught, prosecuted, and locked up. So very sorry for your situation, OP. Lawyer up, call the cops, and get this bastard out of your family's life and off the streets.
#207, Forgive? Stay quiet? Exactly wrong. It's women with these inclinations who provide these guys cover for their crimes. How's "accessory after the fact" sound? How would you like your name on a rap sheet with that charge? The only reason more women aren't locked up is that courts are reluctant to leave kids with no parent, after they lock up the dad. I hope this will knock some sense into women inclined to think this way. End of rant.
Dunno what all you people are screaming the pedophile word for. You've not idea how old OP or her husband is They could be 20 =/, 4 years then, whoopdeedoo. Plus, 16 is old enough to know what you're doing. The girl wants to have sex with older men and get pregnant, by all means let her be a *****, she'd get it somewhere else anyway. The guy is a bastard for cheating, yeah, but 16 years old is not "a child", stop freaking out.
FYL OP. Your husband sounds like my grandfather. He slept with my father and uncles girlfriends when they were in high school. It's sad but true... I didn't find out until he died and they showed up to the funeral. I now have 6 more aunts and uncles. It's a tough situation to be in not knowing what to do. Him being the father of your unborn child and all.. Good luck.
What the hell is happening here? First DocBastard gets major heat over his usual impatience with the meme-spouting forces of evil, and now Perdix is having logic being brought against him? Go find me a serious Perdix comment with a grand total of 0% sarcasm/joking attitude, and once you do, THEN can you treat his obviously light-hearted joke with the due gravity that a tiny paragraph on FML deserves.
DocBastard and Perdix are not gods. They make a comment people don't like? Sucks for them. I thought it was funny enough, but you people can't cry when the "untouchable" get disliked.
385, Apparently some people aren't aware that they'll never agree with every single opinion people they like will have...Oh well, the rest of us will keep living in reality where people are flawed :)
hahahahahahaha good one
Either he got her pregnant or he was just waiting for her's as well, but i think he did it with her. Dumb people are dumb. Nobody ever learns that cheating is wrong and nobody will like you. It is best to tell all of your friends to stay away from people you know that cheated.
Why would she continue to have sex with him? I get the feeling this guy wouldn't care if the sex was passionless as long as he gets to stick his dick in something. You're a special kind of dumb.
Its called statutory rape....(did I.spell statutory right)
Actually, now a days in most states the age of consent is 16. Which means he may not get a statutory rape charge, depending on what the age of consent is in the state he lives in. Which, in my opinion, is perfectly fine because by 16 you should be able to know whether or not you feel as if you are ready to have sex and you should also be old enough to have the common sense to use condoms or another form of BC. Just because one girl didn't have the decency not to sleep with an older married man and one man didn't have the decency to stay away from a significantly (and by significantly I mean by more than a few years) younger girl, or any other girl/woman considering that he is married doesn't mean that the responsible teens at or over the proper age of consent should be judged for the mistakes of the minority of ***** and cheaters. In some states it's as low as 14 though and personally I do find that to be too young and moderately ridiculous...
I actually meant to down vote that comment. she should divorce him and he should lose everything he cares about, but then again if he cared he wouldn't have knocked up the neighbor who is 16!!!
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Show it anywayIs a sixteen-year-old old enough to have legal consent in the U.S? If not, #2 is technically correct.
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No, 2 is not technically correct. Having sex with a minor, even voluntary, makes from the involved grown-up a rapist - not a pedophile.
Actually the age of consent varies between states. In Massachusetts the age of consent is 16.
Yes but you need the parents permission with out it it is still statutory rape
#55 is correct, pedophilia isn't the right term - as a psychiatric definition (DSM) it is sexual interest and possible engagement with a prepubescent child.. Having sexual interest towards teenagers as a on adult is a whole other term (but still a philia). Just wanted to clear some things up guys.. But yes, what this person did is still a major offense.
Nope. That's what "Consent" means. In most states it's 16, some 17 or 18. It doesn't take parental permission, and it doesn't matter if he's 20 or 80. Over age of consent is legal. If she was 16 when they did it, it's probably legal. So he's a douchebag. And creepy. But not legally a pedophile most places.
It all depends where you live first of all. The age of consent varies in every state. In pa age of consent is 16 if there is no more then 4 years difference between the couple. And I the man were to be convicted he would have to sign up on Megan's law which is a site to inform people of pedophiles and sexual predators. Under the law of pa even if the girl was 16 he would legally be a pedophile. So yes number 2 is correct. You are actually the one that needs to learn more about what you're talking about. Sexual predators or pedophiles are adults that go after children whether with or without consent. And legally in the united states anyone under 18 is under guardianship and a child and not legally an adult.
Not true, #67. In states where the age of consent is 16, that means that a 16-year-old can consent to sex. Their parents don't have to consent to sex if they're old enough to do it themselves. Actually, in no state can a parent consent to sex for their child - that's usually called child trafficking. The age of consent varies from state to state - 18 is commonly used in the media because it is the highest age of consent. Movies don't want to popularize the idea that it's legal to sleep with a 16 year old (though in many states it is) because in some states, it's illegal to do so. Unfortunately for OP, the age of consent in Oregon is 18. So her husband's screwed.
Ok let's clarify some misinformation going on here. The clinical term pedophile means an an adult who is sexually interested in prepubescent children. In this situation, we are talking about a man sexually interested in a post pubescent girl and the clinical term for that, as perdix stated earlier, is ephebophelia so OP's husband is an ephebophile not a pedophile. Also and although I'll most likely get down voted for this, ephebophilia is a mental illness. A sexual deviancy by our social standards. What OP's husband needs is help, not simply prison. There are help groups scattered all around the world for for those deviant ones. There are also some ways that can help him control his urges or even fully remove them. And just to put things back in perspective, people with mental illnesses such as schizophrenia were once killed because they were believed to be possessed. We now know that it's simply an illness and that we can help them. The same thing is now happening with pedophilia and ephebophilia.
Guys, he willingly had sex with a sixteen year old girl while he was married. Who gives a shit what the "technical" term is. I think we can all just agree that this guy is a ******* idiot.
I didn't see anything where it said the daughter didn't consent.... I'm just saying...
Lol reminds me of lester burnham from American Beauty
Ok who gives a **** they r just saying its wrong lmfao?
She's 16, she's old enough to make her own decisions, don't judge him that's rude!!
What the toughest thing about being a pedophile? Fitting in
OP's name is Just_Me_88. If she was born in 1988, she's either 23 or 24. It's fair to guess that her husband is of a similar age: too old for a 16 year old girl in this day and age, regardless of legality. Creepy bastard. The fact that he knocked her up two months after he did the same to his wife makes him a despicable creepy bastard, at that.
164: It's kinda strange to consider ephebophilia a mental disorder. From a biological perspective, there is no "age of consent," only an age of "old enough to carry on my genes." In fact, through most of human history, it was normal to marry and impregnate girls shortly after they finished puberty (somewhere between age 12 to 15). The reason we made it illegal is because having children when she's young tends to really **** up a woman's education and potential economic power. (Also true for young fathers, but less so.)
Your logic may be flawed. A 24 year old with a 16 year old daughter puts the mother having the daughter at a ripe 8 years old.
269- the 16 year old is the neighbor not OPs daughter. OPs age has nothing to do with how old the girl is, just for guessing how old the husband is.
132- In some states, the age of consent actually is 16. But OP doesn't live in one of those states, so her husband's a pedophile.
Anyone thought of the possibility that OP and her husband might be around 20 years old? He doesn't necessarily have to be a pedophile.
That is in no way funny. You make me sick #214
This is stupid. Does it really matter if the girl was old enough to consent? Either way the husband is a lying, cheating, pathetic bastard. He doesn't deserve OP, and she should divorce him and focus on providing a good life for her baby.
And what is wrong with what he did? 40 or 18 it's legal and she probably tired of pricks her own age.
384, You probably should have checked the spelling of statutory before making your ridiculous comment look even stupider.
Not funny. Not funny at all
I mean #214 comment. And all the people who has put thumbs up for it either are stupid and didn't understand the implications of the "joke", or are reaaally sick
I can't understand all the thumbs up for him and all the thumbs down for you. That is pretty sick as well (or people are plain stupid)
389: What's wrong is that A) she was a child and he's an adult (regardless of legality) and B) he was married to somebody else who was already pregnant with his kid. He's a scumbag, How about you?
As someone from Massachussets I can verify that the age of consent is 16
Actually, no. Pedophile means attracted to children, and a 16 year old looks and acts more like an adult. I'm sick of people throwing that word around.
tneres a reason the legal age is 18.
she couldnt have had her now 16 year old kid if she was 8 stupid.
#164 Let's justify every perverse act in the world by simply saying it's a mental illness. Heck, let's give murders help instead of prison time. By your logic, there is no evil in the world. He knew what he was doing was wrong and against the law. Just because he had illegal sexual urges doesn't mean he can't control them. And I don't see how schizophrenia should even be mentioned in your post. Don't you freakin' dare lump schizos and sexual predators together. I have schizoaffective. I have paranoid delusions and bipolar mood swings. That is most definitely different than having sex with teenagers.
I don't think people should keep calling him a pedophile, this girl was not a child. At 16 she has probably already gone through puberty, and though she is only 16, it's a far cry from being a small, hairless, breastless child. I have a 16 year old sister, and I have yet to see any girls her age who look like children, most of them could even pass for adults. What he did was probably against the law, but he is by no means a pedophile.
I don't think you quite understand the situation, honey.
depends what state they live in. it varies for legal age.
I wanted to **** everything that moved when I was 16, by that age you're old enough to think for yourself and decide.
Hello sexual offenders list!
And goodbye married life! (I hope)
Sexual offenders list and prison. So he will have 2 kids, be in jail, be in the sex offenders list, and probably get beat up to a pulp before he sees the light of day in jail. Guys in jail don't like people that do that stuff to kids.
Too old I'm sure haha
In China, Too Young is just a name.
Erm, I think the phrase you're referring to is "if your name isn't on the clock, you're ready for the ****" or something along those lines. 11 & 12 year olds shouldn't be ready for any kind of ****.
173 and 195. The phrase "if the AGE isn't on the clock, you're ready for the ****." I still think 16 is way too young either way. But to each his own.
173, I hope you are using military time.
actually i know alot of people are having kids and getting married at really young ages nowadays, especially in Oregon. I would know, I live there!
Well I guess marriage isn't dead then. Whether that's good or bad, that's all opinions now.
What is the age of consent there? if its not 15 or 16, you may be a single parent soon.
I'd hope she'd become a single parent anyway, I think a divorce is in order... maybe after a dna test, just to make sure!
DNA test means nothing. The husband obviously already admitted to the affair. Divorce is the #1 option.
maybe but maybe the 16 year old told her and it's a rumour and she hasn't confronted him yet... I dunno, trying to be optimistic! :(
Optimism doesn't get you very far in life
Even if the DNA test says that OP's (hopefully soon to be ex) husband is not the father, he still had sex with the sixteen year old either way.
not necessarily, like I said, it could be rumour. some teenagers are sly bastards who like to ruin things. not all, but some are.
Ms Graham is correct though. The OP just said the 16 year-old was expecting for her husband. She did not say if it was just the teenager saying that or the husband admitted it. I work with teenagers and the majority of them would say something like that just to be a dick or if they felt that by saying it, the older gentleman would take care of her if she said it. They don't think far enough ahead to a test showing it was a lie.
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Show it anywayThe age of consent in Oregon is 18. Sexual offenses are defined under the Oregon Revised Statutes Chapter 163. With regards to age only, the following offenses are defined. 18 - Consent for all laws. (ORS 163.345 - ORS 163-425) Under 18 - Defined as Sexual Abuse 3 (Class A Misdemeanor) Under 16 - Defined as Rape 3 / Sodomy 3 (Class C Felony) Under 14 - Defined as Rape 2 / Sodomy 2 (Class B Felony) Under 12 - Defined as Rape 1 / Sodomy 1 (Class A Felony) Additionally, Oregon has a 3 year rule defined under ORS 163.345. However, this does not apply to Rape 1, or Sodomy 1, effectively limiting the age to 12. However, a person can still be charged with Sexual Misconduct (Class C Misdemeanor) under ORS 163.445, if the victim was under 15 years old.
If she's under the age of consent and OP's husband is obviously much older, it's statutory rape.
18 in Oregon.
Age of consent also matter on the age of the person being accused, it may be 17 but there's a limitation of "okayness" of a 2-3 year lead way (depending on the state), mine is 3. So here a 16 year old can have sex with a 19 year old and it's fine. But if he's above 19 then it isn't, as long as they're within the 3 year range. With that, OP said "new husband" and they're having a baby soon, I'm assuming they're a very young couple and getting married because of the baby which just shows his poor decision making in the First place
It sounds like rape to me.
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Show it anywayTo be fair, he ****** THE NEIGHBOUR.
How many decades has that excuse been used for? That isn't a "nowadays" thing. To be fair, men like OP's husband should show a little f*cking self control and not sleep around when they're f*cking married, no matter how old the girl "looks".
I like how everyone is mad at the husband and the neighbor is so innocent. She wasn't raped, she knew he was married. That **** should've had some self control too.
The only way this will turn into a fair situation would be if the OP cheated and her baby is someone else's.
Legally speaking in most states she was.
Weeman - The difference is that he's a goddamned married man, and she's a 16 year old child. He's supposed to have more self control than a teenager.
Ffs, 42, I don't see anyone calling the neighbour a saint. You know why we all are so mad at the husband? Because he isn't a ******-up-by-all-those-hormons-and-trying-to-look-cool-and-feel-loved teenage girl, but a grown-up man who should known what's appropriate and what not. Cheating on his wife? With a minor? Without proper use of contraception? God, now I think about it, OP should have herself checked out asap.
42- it doesnt say it was consentual, so how do you know if she was raped or not?
^ There's no way to actually know if she was raped or not, just off of this one post. I believe I read somewhere that much more than half of the time, a rape goes unreported and a rapist on average gets arrested after he's commit such an act....6 times over? 10? :( Just because the girl is expecting, doesn't mean she wanted to be, necessarily. She might be too scared to say she was raped, roofied and raped, pressured or blackmailed into it, or she might even blame herself for his actions, telling herself she provoked it somehow. :p *Shrugs* No way to tell either way.....
6- your comment makes you look like one of those "old enough to bleed, old enough to breed" jackasses.
That not true; I'm 18 and I look 12 =P Both parties are in the wrong, but the husband is more to blame. He is married, older, and supposed to be more responsible. Yeah the girl is obviously a **** for sleeping with a (presumably) much older man who is married; but teenagers are known to not really plan that far into the future or think about consequences when their hormones are going crazy. Out of both of them, the husband should have known way better.
So, you completely ignore that he impregnated a 16 year old girl & just focus on how he cheated. Wow.
Also the husband had the commitment with his wife, the girl didn't promise her to be faithful etc. the husband made the contract when he said I do. The girl is still a tramp for sleeping with a married man!
218, Honestly, while it is an offense he can be jailed for I don't think it will really be a good move for anyone involved to put him away yet. It's not like he is going to get away with it, his life will be hell from now on in his marriage if he sticks around, he has responsibilities to both women and his friends will have shunned him to hell and back. It would be better for the children to keep him out of prison for support both financially and paternal, and keep in mind that having a father in jail for this kind of thing won't escape the radar of the childrens peers. These charges need to be reserved for people who seek out girls like this, rather than one off instances. Odds are he won't ever sleep with a girl this age again, and what is in the best interest of the children is what should be focused on. It's impossible to say from this short story whether he preys on younger girls or not.
398 - I see where you're coming from I can't say I completely agree. He's an adult and the 16 year old is a teenager. He shouldn't be free to rape or have consensual with possibly another minor. This might not be the first time he's done this and it might not be the last. He could leave and never actually support either child. He's not only ruined the teenager's life but his and his wife's and everyone around these three people. This young girl can never take back her innocence, from the FML it can be inferred she's not having an abortion neither of them. So both of their lives have been ruined by this man, because of what he did. He's a grown man, the girl was their neighbor he knew how old she was, he is in other words not only a criminal but in every way that counts a pedophile he doesn't belong in society.
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Show it anywaynot really multi tasking when conception is two months apart..
7- you're a ******* moron.
Ive seen many stupid comments but I dont even know how your brain managed to conceive such a demented thing when reading this. Dont just think before you speak, apparently you didnt realize you should also think before you hit send
#7-That's just ****** up to say! >_<
252- "What it is", is complete stupidity. Both of you are morons.
well its pretty obvious what you have to do now, divorce him, he better pay child support for both kids
Do you really think the kid wants that kind of role model?
ClassAct - I can't think of many comments I've read here which are more wrong than yours. Although he screwed up royally, all children are better off with two parents (unless one is abusive).
119- two parents screws the kid up? Really? That was the most idiotic thing I've ever heard. Each parent has a role.
122, that's not true. My dad never cheated on my mom or abused me or my brothers, and we still see him every Wednesday and alternating weekends, but he's a crappy father and we'd be better off without him. It's not that he hurts us, it's that he doesn't care about us either way. I screwed myself up royally during my middle school years because I was still stuck on trying to get him to love me the way he should. At this point, I've realized that won't happen. But I know from experience that it's not always the best thing to have both parents. I would have rathered that he payed child support and just moved away instead of demanding partial custody of us only to ignore us when we're with him. If the OP's husband was cheating on his wife while he most likely knew she was pregnant, then it shows he has no regards for his wife and future child's feelings. I don't think I'd want someone like that around my child.
R3TROxLOV3 - fair enough. I can't argue with that.
Hard to pay support from jail!
You cannot force anyone to be a good parent! The courts cannot make orders such as that, he could say I don't want to see the kid ever!!
I'm not sure if I'm the one reading 119's comment wrong, but from how I read it, I think she meant that NOT having both parents is what screws up a child's life. In response to that, my mom was a single parent. My life turned out just fine. I'm now 23, with a baby and husband of my own, in college (although it's taking me a little longer to graduate with a one year old running around), and I have my own house. My dad was never there, never paid child support, and I'm doing great.
Doc for shame, of course you can argue with that. Neglect is a form of abuse, your comment still stands.
400, it's not like he goes "oh you're invisible in my presence." He still makes us food, takes us to church, takes us out to dinner, and runs errands with us. He just doesn't particularly care about our personal lives. My father is pretty self-involved so if it doesn't directly affect him, he doesn't see a point in getting involved. He basically tried to do the absolute bare minimum. So while there is some attention payed, it's no where near where it should be, but it's also not neglect because he fufills our basic needs.
1) So there is six billion people in this world and you say that the world has an issue from one person. That is a massive generalization. 2) mind telling me where it mentioned anything about a donkey, let alone OP being married to one.
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Show it anywaySo that makes it okay that he cheated? 'No, I didn't know it was our neighbor!' 'Oh! Well, that just makes everything okay now!'
12- Not that being a cheating douchebag isn't bad enough, but what difference does it really make that they're neighbours? Still, I'd bet my left pinky toe he met the girl one day by looking over the fence and saying "Hi, Neighbour!". *Add creepy grin* :p
Firsty! Poor OP not only is you're husband a cheating prick but he cheats with a minor!!! But atleast you found out now! Secondly 64# it makes me sick that someone you're age is perfectly happy with writing about ones sex life on a public forum!!
Please learn the difference between your and you're! " Not only is you are husband" and "someone you are age" make about as much sense as an ejector seat on a helicopter.
This doesn't even sound relevant to the fml because it's so beyond the point. Do you not realize he is a cheating pedophile? Kind of a big deal, don't exactly understand what being neighbors has to do with it.
Really!!! That is disgusting!!!
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What a pedophile!
How old is your husband? 0_o You should dump him. FYL, OP