By Just_Me_88 - 18/08/2012 05:09 - United States - Salem
Just_Me_88 tells us more.
Well, I am OP, and I am indeed 23...I met my husband when I was 18....and his ex was 17. She "lied" to him about her age. I am amazed I have bought it for so long. Yup, he is certainly a soon-to-be ex. Right after he loses his jewels. (kidding...maybe, lol) My soon-to-be-ex just turned 36.
Add a comment - Reply to : #
Noo, she shouldn't just divorce him, my ex husband did this(except she was 14). He's just gotten out of prison last year and is on the run and wanted again. Free divorce and you get everything, he gets charges. Seriously it's a bad situation. But don't make the same mistake I did, OP. get a lawyer before you talk to the detectives. If he does it once, he will do it again to another child. Don't let that disgusting bastard get away with it. It's up to you now to save future innocents. Sorry for such a serious message. :( this is a serious sore spot for me.
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.Show it anyway
I'm sorry, but you people who are recommending divorce are so stupid. If you really want to punish the bastard, stay married to him, blow his money until he's mired in debt, spread rumors that he has a tiny dick and herpes, belittle him in public, give him infrequent and passionless sex, masturbate loudly when he's within earshot and turn your kids against him. This will teach him a lesson he won't soon forget! Any questions?
Perdix, son you're saying that its okay to look stupid just because it will show you to the world a bad ass? Man what world do you live in? And its okay to lose all the money etc and ruin your own life just because to teach some idiot asshole a lesson? Ummm interesting!
Perdix, your original comment is ridiculous. No self respecting woman would continue to have sex, let alone stay in a relationship, with a pedophile. The women who do constantly deny or make up excuses for their husband's deplorable behavior. Trust me when I tell you that family members are NOT off limits to some pedophiles. If she decided to stay in the relationship, she'd possibly be putting her own child at risk in addition to other family members. Your response to 161 was way off. I'm in the medical field. Believe it or not, teens and adults suffer from "it'll never happen to me" syndrome. It doesn't matter to some people whether they have prior knowledge about their potential partner's STI status, so saying he has herpes won't deter everyone. Besides, spreading such rumors is slander.
#129 and 210, Good advice. You are absolutely right: guys like this will commit the same crime (yes, even against family and own kids, too) if not caught, prosecuted, and locked up. So very sorry for your situation, OP. Lawyer up, call the cops, and get this bastard out of your family's life and off the streets.
#207, Forgive? Stay quiet? Exactly wrong. It's women with these inclinations who provide these guys cover for their crimes. How's "accessory after the fact" sound? How would you like your name on a rap sheet with that charge? The only reason more women aren't locked up is that courts are reluctant to leave kids with no parent, after they lock up the dad. I hope this will knock some sense into women inclined to think this way. End of rant.
Dunno what all you people are screaming the pedophile word for. You've not idea how old OP or her husband is They could be 20 =/, 4 years then, whoopdeedoo. Plus, 16 is old enough to know what you're doing. The girl wants to have sex with older men and get pregnant, by all means let her be a whore, she'd get it somewhere else anyway. The guy is a bastard for cheating, yeah, but 16 years old is not "a child", stop freaking out.
FYL OP. Your husband sounds like my grandfather. He slept with my father and uncles girlfriends when they were in high school. It's sad but true... I didn't find out until he died and they showed up to the funeral. I now have 6 more aunts and uncles. It's a tough situation to be in not knowing what to do. Him being the father of your unborn child and all.. Good luck.
What the hell is happening here? First DocBastard gets major heat over his usual impatience with the meme-spouting forces of evil, and now Perdix is having logic being brought against him? Go find me a serious Perdix comment with a grand total of 0% sarcasm/joking attitude, and once you do, THEN can you treat his obviously light-hearted joke with the due gravity that a tiny paragraph on FML deserves.
Either he got her pregnant or he was just waiting for her's as well, but i think he did it with her. Dumb people are dumb. Nobody ever learns that cheating is wrong and nobody will like you. It is best to tell all of your friends to stay away from people you know that cheated.
Actually, now a days in most states the age of consent is 16. Which means he may not get a statutory rape charge, depending on what the age of consent is in the state he lives in. Which, in my opinion, is perfectly fine because by 16 you should be able to know whether or not you feel as if you are ready to have sex and you should also be old enough to have the common sense to use condoms or another form of BC. Just because one girl didn't have the decency not to sleep with an older married man and one man didn't have the decency to stay away from a significantly (and by significantly I mean by more than a few years) younger girl, or any other girl/woman considering that he is married doesn't mean that the responsible teens at or over the proper age of consent should be judged for the mistakes of the minority of sluts and cheaters. In some states it's as low as 14 though and personally I do find that to be too young and moderately ridiculous...
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.Show it anyway
Don't use difficult words if you don't know the meaning of them. A pedophile is someone who wants/has sex with children, aka, those human beings who are small and have no breasts, no pubic or armpit hair and no period. I doubt a sixteen year old fit those terms. The word you are looking for, sir, is douchebag.
No, 2 is not technically correct. Having sex with a minor, even voluntary, makes from the involved grown-up a rapist - not a pedophile.
#55 is correct, pedophilia isn't the right term - as a psychiatric definition (DSM) it is sexual interest and possible engagement with a prepubescent child.. Having sexual interest towards teenagers as a on adult is a whole other term (but still a philia). Just wanted to clear some things up guys.. But yes, what this person did is still a major offense.
Nope. That's what "Consent" means. In most states it's 16, some 17 or 18. It doesn't take parental permission, and it doesn't matter if he's 20 or 80. Over age of consent is legal. If she was 16 when they did it, it's probably legal. So he's a douchebag. And creepy. But not legally a pedophile most places.
It all depends where you live first of all. The age of consent varies in every state. In pa age of consent is 16 if there is no more then 4 years difference between the couple. And I the man were to be convicted he would have to sign up on Megan's law which is a site to inform people of pedophiles and sexual predators. Under the law of pa even if the girl was 16 he would legally be a pedophile. So yes number 2 is correct. You are actually the one that needs to learn more about what you're talking about. Sexual predators or pedophiles are adults that go after children whether with or without consent. And legally in the united states anyone under 18 is under guardianship and a child and not legally an adult.
Not true, #67. In states where the age of consent is 16, that means that a 16-year-old can consent to sex. Their parents don't have to consent to sex if they're old enough to do it themselves. Actually, in no state can a parent consent to sex for their child - that's usually called child trafficking. The age of consent varies from state to state - 18 is commonly used in the media because it is the highest age of consent. Movies don't want to popularize the idea that it's legal to sleep with a 16 year old (though in many states it is) because in some states, it's illegal to do so. Unfortunately for OP, the age of consent in Oregon is 18. So her husband's screwed.
THANK YOU for knowing what you're talking about. But too bad for OP's husband, because the FML was posted in Oregon - where the age of consent is actually 18. But he still wouldn't be a pedophile because she's sexually mature - he'd just be a statutory rapist and a sex offender.
Ok let's clarify some misinformation going on here. The clinical term pedophile means an an adult who is sexually interested in prepubescent children. In this situation, we are talking about a man sexually interested in a post pubescent girl and the clinical term for that, as perdix stated earlier, is ephebophelia so OP's husband is an ephebophile not a pedophile. Also and although I'll most likely get down voted for this, ephebophilia is a mental illness. A sexual deviancy by our social standards. What OP's husband needs is help, not simply prison. There are help groups scattered all around the world for for those deviant ones. There are also some ways that can help him control his urges or even fully remove them. And just to put things back in perspective, people with mental illnesses such as schizophrenia were once killed because they were believed to be possessed. We now know that it's simply an illness and that we can help them. The same thing is now happening with pedophilia and ephebophilia.
OP's name is Just_Me_88. If she was born in 1988, she's either 23 or 24. It's fair to guess that her husband is of a similar age: too old for a 16 year old girl in this day and age, regardless of legality. Creepy bastard. The fact that he knocked her up two months after he did the same to his wife makes him a despicable creepy bastard, at that.
164: It's kinda strange to consider ephebophilia a mental disorder. From a biological perspective, there is no "age of consent," only an age of "old enough to carry on my genes." In fact, through most of human history, it was normal to marry and impregnate girls shortly after they finished puberty (somewhere between age 12 to 15). The reason we made it illegal is because having children when she's young tends to really fuck up a woman's education and potential economic power. (Also true for young fathers, but less so.)
#164 Let's justify every perverse act in the world by simply saying it's a mental illness. Heck, let's give murders help instead of prison time. By your logic, there is no evil in the world. He knew what he was doing was wrong and against the law. Just because he had illegal sexual urges doesn't mean he can't control them. And I don't see how schizophrenia should even be mentioned in your post. Don't you freakin' dare lump schizos and sexual predators together. I have schizoaffective. I have paranoid delusions and bipolar mood swings. That is most definitely different than having sex with teenagers.
I don't think people should keep calling him a pedophile, this girl was not a child. At 16 she has probably already gone through puberty, and though she is only 16, it's a far cry from being a small, hairless, breastless child. I have a 16 year old sister, and I have yet to see any girls her age who look like children, most of them could even pass for adults. What he did was probably against the law, but he is by no means a pedophile.
What is the age of consent there? if its not 15 or 16, you may be a single parent soon.
Ms Graham is correct though. The OP just said the 16 year-old was expecting for her husband. She did not say if it was just the teenager saying that or the husband admitted it. I work with teenagers and the majority of them would say something like that just to be a dick or if they felt that by saying it, the older gentleman would take care of her if she said it. They don't think far enough ahead to a test showing it was a lie.
The age of consent in Oregon is 18. Sexual offenses are defined under the Oregon Revised Statutes Chapter 163. With regards to age only, the following offenses are defined. 18 - Consent for all laws. (ORS 163.345 - ORS 163-425) Under 18 - Defined as Sexual Abuse 3 (Class A Misdemeanor) Under 16 - Defined as Rape 3 / Sodomy 3 (Class C Felony) Under 14 - Defined as Rape 2 / Sodomy 2 (Class B Felony) Under 12 - Defined as Rape 1 / Sodomy 1 (Class A Felony) Additionally, Oregon has a 3 year rule defined under ORS 163.345. However, this does not apply to Rape 1, or Sodomy 1, effectively limiting the age to 12. However, a person can still be charged with Sexual Misconduct (Class C Misdemeanor) under ORS 163.445, if the victim was under 15 years old.
Age of consent also matter on the age of the person being accused, it may be 17 but there's a limitation of "okayness" of a 2-3 year lead way (depending on the state), mine is 3. So here a 16 year old can have sex with a 19 year old and it's fine. But if he's above 19 then it isn't, as long as they're within the 3 year range. With that, OP said "new husband" and they're having a baby soon, I'm assuming they're a very young couple and getting married because of the baby which just shows his poor decision making in the First place
Ffs, 42, I don't see anyone calling the neighbour a saint. You know why we all are so mad at the husband? Because he isn't a fucked-up-by-all-those-hormons-and-trying-to-look-cool-and-feel-loved teenage girl, but a grown-up man who should known what's appropriate and what not. Cheating on his wife? With a minor? Without proper use of contraception? God, now I think about it, OP should have herself checked out asap.
^ There's no way to actually know if she was raped or not, just off of this one post. I believe I read somewhere that much more than half of the time, a rape goes unreported and a rapist on average gets arrested after he's commit such an act....6 times over? 10? :( Just because the girl is expecting, doesn't mean she wanted to be, necessarily. She might be too scared to say she was raped, roofied and raped, pressured or blackmailed into it, or she might even blame herself for his actions, telling herself she provoked it somehow. :p *Shrugs* No way to tell either way.....
That not true; I'm 18 and I look 12 =P Both parties are in the wrong, but the husband is more to blame. He is married, older, and supposed to be more responsible. Yeah the girl is obviously a slut for sleeping with a (presumably) much older man who is married; but teenagers are known to not really plan that far into the future or think about consequences when their hormones are going crazy. Out of both of them, the husband should have known way better.
218, Honestly, while it is an offense he can be jailed for I don't think it will really be a good move for anyone involved to put him away yet. It's not like he is going to get away with it, his life will be hell from now on in his marriage if he sticks around, he has responsibilities to both women and his friends will have shunned him to hell and back. It would be better for the children to keep him out of prison for support both financially and paternal, and keep in mind that having a father in jail for this kind of thing won't escape the radar of the childrens peers. These charges need to be reserved for people who seek out girls like this, rather than one off instances. Odds are he won't ever sleep with a girl this age again, and what is in the best interest of the children is what should be focused on. It's impossible to say from this short story whether he preys on younger girls or not.
398 - I see where you're coming from I can't say I completely agree. He's an adult and the 16 year old is a teenager. He shouldn't be free to rape or have consensual with possibly another minor. This might not be the first time he's done this and it might not be the last. He could leave and never actually support either child. He's not only ruined the teenager's life but his and his wife's and everyone around these three people. This young girl can never take back her innocence, from the FML it can be inferred she's not having an abortion neither of them. So both of their lives have been ruined by this man, because of what he did. He's a grown man, the girl was their neighbor he knew how old she was, he is in other words not only a criminal but in every way that counts a pedophile he doesn't belong in society.
well its pretty obvious what you have to do now, divorce him, he better pay child support for both kids
Exactly ^^ so all the child needs is the money for support because he screwed up being a good "father role". & not having two parents (which usually corrupts the child in SOME way). This is sad, fyl OP. You may find the right one in the future cause he is a jackass
122, that's not true. My dad never cheated on my mom or abused me or my brothers, and we still see him every Wednesday and alternating weekends, but he's a crappy father and we'd be better off without him. It's not that he hurts us, it's that he doesn't care about us either way. I screwed myself up royally during my middle school years because I was still stuck on trying to get him to love me the way he should. At this point, I've realized that won't happen. But I know from experience that it's not always the best thing to have both parents. I would have rathered that he payed child support and just moved away instead of demanding partial custody of us only to ignore us when we're with him. If the OP's husband was cheating on his wife while he most likely knew she was pregnant, then it shows he has no regards for his wife and future child's feelings. I don't think I'd want someone like that around my child.
I'm not sure if I'm the one reading 119's comment wrong, but from how I read it, I think she meant that NOT having both parents is what screws up a child's life. In response to that, my mom was a single parent. My life turned out just fine. I'm now 23, with a baby and husband of my own, in college (although it's taking me a little longer to graduate with a one year old running around), and I have my own house. My dad was never there, never paid child support, and I'm doing great.
400, it's not like he goes "oh you're invisible in my presence." He still makes us food, takes us to church, takes us out to dinner, and runs errands with us. He just doesn't particularly care about our personal lives. My father is pretty self-involved so if it doesn't directly affect him, he doesn't see a point in getting involved. He basically tried to do the absolute bare minimum. So while there is some attention payed, it's no where near where it should be, but it's also not neglect because he fufills our basic needs.
wtf, what is going on with this world????? i hope you divorce his sorry ass....