Money: Today, I found out that my dad paid for my sister's friend's...

By Akestarr - 02/12/2013 13:28 - United States - Georgetown

Today, I found out that my dad paid for my sister's friend's airplane ticket so she could attend my sister's wedding. I would have been there myself, but I couldn't afford the airplane ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 286

You deserved it 3 640

Money

Broken heart

Tetchy

Dad, stop driving my car

By Anonymous - 10/05/2019 16:00

Today, the guy I've been talking to for two months told me he hooked up with a girl last night, before blocking me on everything. I also was with him last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 810

You deserved it 176

By byebyeromance - 26/08/2014 01:03 - United States - State College

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 239

You deserved it 5 044

By Anonymous - 20/04/2013 02:55 - United States - Hebron

Today, I went on my first date. Everything went great until I went to brush my date's hair over her ear like they do in the movies. I poked her dead in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 812

You deserved it 16 299

By emie0209 - 11/04/2009 03:40 - United States

Today, my friend and I were driving to Florida from Michigan. While going through Ohio my car hydroplaned over a puddle on the highway. I ended up hitting the median and my car got wrecked. Not only am I stuck in Ohio with a car that wont work, I got a ticket for $300 for hitting Ohio property. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 378

You deserved it 6 504

By NotInTheRightPlace - 17/03/2014 18:18 - United States - Falls Church

Today, I had to appear in court. My boyfriend gave me a chocolate to eat for comfort. The quote on the wrapper read "Today, you are exactly where you should be." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 011

You deserved it 6 518

You're probably better off

By Anonymous - 26/11/2021 01:58 - United States - Ashburn

Today, after my cheating wife moved out earlier this year, the kids are with her and her family for Thanksgiving. I didn't get a single invite from any of my local family members to Thanksgiving dinner. I had dinner at Joe's Crab Shack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 176

You deserved it 93

By Anonymous - 14/11/2017 15:00

Today, I went on a hike. It had snowed the night before so I wore warm clothes. They didn’t help when I slipped and broke my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 027

You deserved it 464

By ROBERT - 08/08/2013 18:52 - United States - Cresskill

Today, I actually had to explain to two of my friends that neither Alaska nor Nebraska are in Canada. I think I need new friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 897

You deserved it 5 295

How Soon is Now?

By Anonymous - 14/05/2021 12:59 - Colombia - Bogot?

Today, I realized that my boyfriend‘s birthday was two weeks ago, so I immediately sent him a message as if it was today. He didn’t believe my excuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 1 696

By peanutprobs - 31/10/2014 21:12 - Germany - Bochum

Today, my friend took our prank war too far when he secretly added peanuts to my food. I have a peanut allergy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 796

You deserved it 3 324

By IMAWAKE - 17/03/2014 19:07 - United States - Romulus

Today, my roommate's extremely loud and obnoxious alarm went off six times, waking me up each time, before she finally gave up on hitting the snooze button and went back to sleep for good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 117

You deserved it 3 828

By Anonymous - 22/09/2010 21:39 - United Kingdom

Today, I got into my car and realised that my CDs were no longer in my glove box. According to the police, the random key code for my car type has been cracked, and thieves can now let themselves in whenever they want. The manufacturer says they can't do anything about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 632

You deserved it 3 164

By sonofaneuroticwench - 20/08/2014 20:08 - United States - Rice Lake

Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 573

You deserved it 3 373

By ADT - 09/02/2009 02:14 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 426

You deserved it 3 818

By EllieJ - 23/03/2011 15:22

Today, I opened a cupboard and a brick fell on my head. The same brick my mum put up there to "keep it out of the way". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 863

You deserved it 4 366

By Jill - 25/02/2010 01:26 - France

Today, a friend of mine commented that I "have a lot of confidence for a fat girl". Ummm... thanks? FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 580

You deserved it 4 483

By greatdriver...4 - 31/08/2011 11:07 - United States

Today, I tried to back out of a spot in a parking garage. I did a 12 point turn, hit the car behind me and still didn't manage to get out of the spot. Everyone was staring at me, and the attendant had to come over and move my car for me. I have to park there every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 840

You deserved it 26 660

By feelsbadman - 12/07/2018 05:00

Today, I decided to surprise my crush by wishing her happy birthday when she came out of the lift. Too bad she was busy giving someone a blow job and didn’t notice me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 797

You deserved it 582

Landlords gonna landlord

By goingtobeevicted - 25/04/2013 06:28 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my new landlord and lettings agent made an illegal entry into my house. Unfortunately, at the time my boyfriend was buck naked, smoking a joint on the sofa, surrounded by the cats we aren't supposed to have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 861

You deserved it 48 120

Same old story

By Anonymous - 07/10/2021 02:00

Today, after 8 years and a house bought together, I realised I regret getting married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 429

By Anonymous - 15/10/2013 20:16 - United States - Chicago

Today, my fiancé's best friend, who will be our best man at our wedding, decided to confess his feelings for me and tell me how he's always dreamed of us eloping together. The wedding is going to be awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 787

You deserved it 3 308

By Thatgirl - 14/04/2019 20:00

Today, my grandfather told me I could bring a date to my cousin’s wedding. I said I didn't have anyone to bring. He replied, “That's the saddest thing I've heard all day.” He’s 98. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 921

You deserved it 264

By Anonymous - 02/01/2013 19:02 - Canada - Belle River

Today, at a house party, I finally got the guy I've been seeing alone in his room. We started making out, and I got on top of him to take control. He responded by saying he couldn't do it because he needed to go make pizza for his friends, and then bolted out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 855

You deserved it 9 829

By Anonymous - 18/05/2018 20:30

Today, on the train, a man kept grabbing my crotch. When I told him to stop, I got yelled at for harassing an elderly man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 158

You deserved it 283

By Anonymous - 31/01/2010 17:07 - United Kingdom

Today, while at a party, Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" started playing. For being the only one who didn't know the lyrics, I had beer thrown on me, my shirt stolen, and I was locked outside for half an hour. It's below freezing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 888

You deserved it 37 570

By Anonymous - 29/09/2011 07:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my co-workers agreed that I was the one causing the elevator to be over its weight limit. When I protested, saying that I only weigh around 150 pounds, one asked me if that included the weight of my wheelchair. They made me get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 648

You deserved it 3 243

By Anonymous - 07/12/2012 21:28 - United States

Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 430

You deserved it 3 162

By ShutTheFuCupcake - 13/05/2014 23:46 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I flexed so hard for a selfie, I gave myself a hernia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 609

You deserved it 70 733

By I was talking about her. - 29/06/2016 05:24

Today, a lady called the candy store and wanted to know our ice cream flavors. We have 30 and I had a line of people to help, so I directed her to our new website. She called back, wanting me to walk her through finding it. I couldn't, as we're not allowed, so she called me useless. She showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 658

You deserved it 989

By :,< - 17/09/2012 17:16 - United States

Today, I took my daughter to a pony ride at the fair. I paid to have her picture taken, and when we got home, I emailed it to my mom. She replied, disgustedly pointing out that the pretty little pony was displaying a pretty little penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 365

You deserved it 2 583

By Mmm - 25/07/2015 10:10 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend asked me to get her a pregnancy test. After using it, we couldn't find how to tell if she was or wasn't pregnant. After about 10 minutes of waiting, Google searching, and tension, I realized I had bought an ovulation test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 343

You deserved it 23 022

I'm not a monster, I'm a human being

By Casey - 18/03/2021 11:01

Today, on vacation my wife asked if I wanted her to take my picture. I realized it was the first time in our 10 years she had asked me that question. Moments later I realized it's the first time in my life that anyone's ever asked me that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 91

By The Lone Ranger - 05/10/2010 07:43 - United States

Today, I was given a $25 gift certificate for being Employee Of The Week. The gift certificate was 6 months past its expiration date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 097

You deserved it 2 824

By FML - 02/10/2015 21:45 - United States - Oak Lawn

Today, I took my boyfriend to dinner to meet my parents. He agreed to be on his best behavior, but when my mom told us about some shady stuff going on at her job, he replied that it sounded "fishier than Justin Bieber's cunt." We were quickly kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 466

You deserved it 4 217

By Anonymous - 28/03/2014 20:30 - United States - Randallstown

Today, I was randomly selected for a pat-down while at the airport. Being from the south, I said thanks out of pure habit. The guy replied, "No sir, thank YOU." and winked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 773

You deserved it 5 273

By anonymous - 26/04/2015 13:35 - United States - Knoxville

Today, my fiancé threatened to break up with me if our dog couldn't be the best man at our wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 462

You deserved it 6 961

Classic

By Stooped - 25/03/2021 09:00 - United States

Today, I paid my long-distance boyfriend of 4 years a surprise visit. I entered his house and he got irrationally angry, asking why didn’t I tell him beforehand. Moments later, a female voice yelled, "Babe come back to bed!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 587

You deserved it 190

By Emily - 05/12/2012 17:55 - United States - Boston

Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 634

You deserved it 4 322

By splitzville - 16/03/2010 20:12 - United States

Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 940

You deserved it 40 762

By FullCircleProblem - 27/01/2016 06:04 - United States - Round Rock

Today, my girlfriend came home and spontaneously wanted to have sex for the first time in about a year. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and had just came from an AA meeting. She reeked of alcohol, I couldn't get hard because of it and she got pissed at me. She says she won't be spontaneous again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 902

You deserved it 2 342

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Top comments

DocBastard 38

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Monday 2 December 2013 18:48

I wonder what your sister's friend did with your father to earn that plane ticket.

luckyone365 7

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Monday 2 December 2013 19:14

Damn, Socrates. How did you figure that one out?

DSaturn 16

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Monday 2 December 2013 18:47

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luckyone365 7

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Monday 2 December 2013 19:14

Damn, Socrates. How did you figure that one out?

Ashley868 10

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Monday 2 December 2013 20:39

Obviously not. This wouldn't be a FML then.

evan_7899 28

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Monday 2 December 2013 21:24

Maybe this FML would be more #1's speed if it read. Today, my dad did not buy me a plane ticket. FML The issue is clearly ststed and to the point. No semi complex reading involved.

DSaturn 16

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Monday 2 December 2013 23:02

My point was, did OP even ask or let their dad know. If they didn't even ask, then they deserve it.

kristabelli 19

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Monday 2 December 2013 23:02

It seems that the dad may not have known about OP's cash flow problem. (I hope that's the case!)

lwonderful 11

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Tuesday 3 December 2013 1:09

An** ~ #48

Sports_guy3 28

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Tuesday 3 December 2013 1:15

(No homo) It's either go all the way, or don't go at all. Don't stop in the middle. FYL.

ZY1431 24

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Monday 2 December 2013 18:48

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cryssycakesx3 22

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Monday 2 December 2013 18:57

no.. not both bro.

gotaplanstan 28

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Monday 2 December 2013 19:19

*slaps 2* HAVE

citlali06 14

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Monday 2 December 2013 18:48

That's terrible! I hope he ends up buying you a ticket! If he doesn't that's not fair!!

euphoricness 28

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Monday 2 December 2013 19:01

According to the FML, there would be no point in buying a ticket at this point

GRgoldfish 19

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Tuesday 3 December 2013 15:30

yea think #3?

DocBastard 38

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Monday 2 December 2013 18:48

I wonder what your sister's friend did with your father to earn that plane ticket.

Tymaster5 22

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Monday 2 December 2013 19:03

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Wizardo 33

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Monday 2 December 2013 19:39

Eeeh no, I'm guessing it was sexual and also more than once and they're probably going to continue it pre and post ceremony.

cheshirecat13242 32

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Monday 2 December 2013 19:40

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letmehavemytea 21

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Monday 2 December 2013 21:25

No reason to be rude, #41.

BEATLEJUICE98 4

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Monday 2 December 2013 22:47

Lets just say she worked her way down on top of his roof and fixed his shingles

8313girl 28

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Tuesday 3 December 2013 1:23

Yeah the dad is trying to get in with the friend! If she downs enough wine & champagne then she might be game

iknowiwantyou 13

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Monday 2 December 2013 18:48

I feel like there was a misunderstanding and your dad didn't know that you couldn't afford your ticket.

jesuismelogee 16

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Monday 2 December 2013 19:46

And him or any other family member didn't give a flying f*ck about OP attending the wedding.

Rainhawk94 27

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Monday 2 December 2013 18:48

Dad of the year goes to....

mario2012 18

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Monday 2 December 2013 19:23

This joke needs to pass on now. It's been overdone.

Rainhawk94 27

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Monday 2 December 2013 19:35

Just like " your mom"

lwonderful 11

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Tuesday 3 December 2013 1:12

Someone take #32 out! He's been overdone!

Ziggyboo 10

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Wednesday 4 December 2013 6:17

@53 It's scary how likely that would be to be a "your mom" joke.

BntyHntrSeattle 30

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Monday 2 December 2013 18:49

Well did you ask him? Maybe he doesn't know you're broke!

itsalanis 24

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Monday 2 December 2013 18:49

How can he not know whom to prioritize for the plane ticket? Sorry for you missing out on it. Not cool at all.

BobbieH 19

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Monday 2 December 2013 22:47

You're assuming he didn't prioritize the plane ticket. Just because you are related does not mean you have any relationship. The sister getting married could have wanted her friend to attend and relieved her sister couldn't make it.

Welshite 39

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Monday 2 December 2013 18:49

I know I'm going to get downvoted into oblivion, but to the people saying the Dad should have purchased tickets for both, I have to disagree. While it wasn't right what the dad did, he is under no obligation to purchase ANY ticket if he so chooses. I'm sorry you didn't make the wedding, OP. Financial problems suck.

iknowiwantyou 13

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Monday 2 December 2013 18:53

well clearly in this case he chose to pay for his daughter's friend's ticket.

Welshite 39

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Monday 2 December 2013 18:54

Did I not say he could choose what he purchases? I specifically said he was under no obligation if he didn't want to, not that he couldn't.

cryssycakesx3 22

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Monday 2 December 2013 18:59

I have to agree welshite. Lol maybe the friend is nicer?

iknowiwantyou 13

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Monday 2 December 2013 19:08

18 your logic makes me question whether or not you were unconditionally loved as child.

edanielleh 21

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Monday 2 December 2013 19:23

@ 9 I agree, this sounds like there is more to this too.

DavidKnows 11

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Monday 2 December 2013 20:45

Yep. Sounds like the sister specifically ASKED Dad for this favor. If Dad is "involved" w this friend, he wouldn't be foolish enough to draw attention to the affair.