Today, I found out that when my parents said they couldn't afford... - FML

By Anonymous - 28/12/2016 23:26 - United States

Today, I found out that when my parents said they couldn't afford gifts for us kids, what they really meant was that they weren't buying a gift for me. I found this out when I overheard my father telling my uncle about the things he got my siblings. FML

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Instadrama

KoBabe

This is fine

By Anonymous - 22/12/2013 15:36 - United States

Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML

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By worksucker - 5/7/2011 05:34 - United States

Today, 30 minutes before I was supposed to quit work at 6pm, my boss showed up. After telling him how the day went, he asked why I was still there. Apparently, for the holiday, we close early. 4 hours earlier. FML

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By tan disaster - 27/2/2009 23:09 - United States

Today, I went to get my spray tan before my semi-formal. After I applied lotion to the bottom of my feet as instructed, I went in the booth and began to start the tanning session. I lost my balance and fell right as the machine began to spray. I look like a spotted cheetah. FML

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By mook05 - 21/10/2010 02:04 - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of 6 months is not actually on vacation with her cousin but is moving in with her fiancé. FML

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By marenthehollow - 31/10/2016 00:33 - United States - American Fork

Today, I got yelled at by a customer for saving them money. FML

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By - 8/2/2020 18:00

Crazy party

Today, I heard that there's a rumour going around that I was caught masturbating while crying at a party after the girl I liked got with someone else. FML

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By annoyed - 20/2/2013 20:33 - United States - Paradise Valley

Today, I was so exhausted that I slept through my phone ringing, and later my doorbell ringing. My psycho mom freaked out, and thinking I was in trouble, broke a window to get inside. This all happened before 7am. FML

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By toni405 - 21/7/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

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By me - 5/12/2011 08:05 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend's response to my question about where our relationship was going was, "Let me check what my Celtic Runes have to say about it." FML

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By cachucy - 18/3/2012 15:04 - United States - Geneva

Today, I was walking to a café with my soon-to-be boss. While crossing a busy street, I slipped in a puddle and accidentally grabbed his junk to catch myself. FML

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By No thank you - 4/2/2015 20:17 - United States - Columbus

Today, I'm here to inform men that, "If I fucked you, I wouldn't pull out" is not an effective pick up line. Ever. Especially on a coworker. FML

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By Anonymous - 23/9/2009 02:31 - United States

Today, I was in a college band rehearsal, and I get a call saying "your car was just hit by a tree!" I said "yeah, right", and hung up on her. Minutes later, the band manager walks in and tells me that my car is totaled. I then went and stood in the rain watching a tree get cut off my car. FML

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By IMAWAKE - 17/3/2014 19:07 - United States - Romulus

Today, my roommate's extremely loud and obnoxious alarm went off six times, waking me up each time, before she finally gave up on hitting the snooze button and went back to sleep for good. FML

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By Dezzmond68 - 15/9/2016 20:26 - Canada - Aylmer

Today, I got in trouble at work because the person whom I trained, and had done everything correctly with no mistakes and said he was comfortable being on his own when I asked, was screwing it all up over the course of 6 weeks. When I asked him, he said, "I think my way's better than yours." FML

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By sickofsick - 30/12/2010 03:11 - United States

Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave and can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, and not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, and if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML

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By failure - 10/10/2013 14:11 - Korea, Republic of - Seoul

Today, my boss brought her cat to work. At one point, I looked up and everyone was staring at me staring at the cat's asshole. FML

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By MenstruallyFrustrated - 23/7/2013 17:18 - United States - Surprise

Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML

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By Anonymous - 6/7/2013 07:11 - United States - San Marcos

Today, I had a dream about marrying Hitler. I've had this same dream three times now. My subconscious is starting to scare me. FML

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By dust - 27/1/2012 06:54 - Japan

Today, I found out that due to the fact that I got divorced, the insurance for my car is going up. A year after she took everything, she is still costing me money. FML

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By Doy - 19/12/2011 06:31 - Canada

Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't know what I was going to do over the Christmas holidays since he was going to be out of the country. He suggested that I work out and do some sit-ups. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/2/2012 20:56 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend confessed to me that he purposely makes me angry, because when I'm angry, I clean, and it saves him having to do it himself. FML

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By LeoCor - 27/8/2018 20:30

Today, and for the past 2 weeks, I've had a massive pain in my throat. It went down for a while with antibiotics, but when it came back I had to go to the hospital for an emergency surgery. There was a 3cm abscess growing in my throat. Happy birthday to me! FML

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By Satver7 - 10/3/2017 22:00

An Inconvenient Thief

Today, after meeting a girl for the first time and having sex with her, I found not only my wallet missing but also the 128 GB pen drive that had my project I've been working on for 6 months on it. I have to give the presentation in 3 days. FML

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By anon - 20/11/2015 00:53 - New Zealand

Today, I found my expensive lingerie I thought I had lost. In my 15-year-old brother's room. FML

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By some explaining to do - 25/12/2016 08:34 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I went to my uncle's house to celebrate Christmas. His kids don't have their own phones so I let them play with mine. They sent all my contacts messages saying I love them, including two of my ex-girlfriends who both immediately wanted to make up and started to frantically call me. FML

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By yomamma787 - 24/11/2009 17:11 - United States

Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML

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By decenthumanbeing - 14/7/2016 13:13

Today, I entered a restaurant just to use the WiFi. In order not to look cheap, I ordered a meal and a beverage. The WiFi didn't work and now I don't have enough money to buy dinner. FML

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By Dashofweak - 26/4/2016 16:17 - United States - Mount Vernon

Today, I did the math and discovered that every year, I pay the equivalent cost of a luxury car to a college that can't even keep rats out of the dorms. FML

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By lmiller - 24/1/2010 03:29 - United States

Today, when I logged onto facebook, I discovered a friend request from my ex who broke up with me and deleted me months ago. Upon adding her, I was taken to her profile where I saw dozens of status updates talking about how much she loves her new boyfriend, who she dumped me for. FML

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By Anonymous - 23/4/2009 02:44 - Canada

Today, as I was ringing in a customer I noticed that the Febreeze spray can was wet. Noticing this I sniffed my hands because they had gotten wet and said to the customer, "Oh the can is leaking want to go get another one?" He then said, "No it's OK, I just sweat a lot." I sniffed some customer's sweat. FML

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By thankspops - 29/9/2010 23:04 - United States

Today, I found out that the $200 a week I was paying my dad for my car insurance and payment, wasn't actually paying my insurance and car payment. How did I find out he wasn't paying? Repo man took my car. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/10/2020 05:01

With friends like these…

Today, I told my “best friend” that I'd tested positive for COVID-19. She told me to “chill”. Ten years of friendship and she didn’t even ask if I was OK. FML

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By Username - 1/5/2011 03:16 - United States

Today, the lease on my house ended and I finished moving in with my girlfriend. After everything was moved in, she broke up with me. Hello homelessness. FML

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By Irony - 8/10/2009 11:40 - United States

Today, my dad took a call while driving. He always yells and curses at people who talk on their cell while driving. I asked him to get off the phone because it's dangerous, and told him he's being a hypocrite. He shook his head at me and continued talking. Seconds later, we got into an accident. FML

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By Toolate - 21/12/2016 12:26

Today, after having gone off the pill a couple of weeks ago, I finally got my old friskiness back only to find part of a condom wrapper in my husband's pocket. Turns out he was impatient and went elsewhere. FML

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By anonymous - 28/7/2012 13:26 - Lebanon

Today, I went on an overnight airplane flight. I wanted to be comfy so I took off my shorts, threw a blanket over myself, and slept. When the lights came back on, I ran to the bathroom before they served food. After using the bathroom, I noticed I hadn't put my shorts back on. FML

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By WaxOnWaxOff - 6/9/2012 21:50 - United States - Denver

Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/4/2014 11:36 - United States - Alpharetta

Today, my little brother put a battery to my tongue while I was sleeping with my mouth open. The shock found its way right to my metal filling. FML

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By bingalingading - 30/3/2015 20:46 - United States - Owosso

Today, I was working at a donation center. I was having a really rough day, so my fiancée dropped me off some cookies. At the end of my shift, the manager told me I couldn't take them home because they were donated and therefore they were "company property." FML

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By Anonymous - 20/6/2020 08:08

Fake mystery guy

Today, I dressed cute to surprise my boyfriend of 2 years. Instead of being happy or impressed about it, he accused me of cheating and dressing up to impress a new guy he'd made up in his head. FML

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Top comments

By arano | 29

#6496190 - Tuesday 29 December 2016 11:54

Just remember this when their birthdays come around. FYL, OP. Merry Christmas.

By sarahfoundnemo | 10

#6496189 - Tuesday 29 December 2016 11:54

I'm sorry OP.. that sucks!!

COMMENTS

By sarahfoundnemo | 10

#6496189 - Tuesday 29 December 2016 11:54

I'm sorry OP.. that sucks!!

By arano | 29

#6496190 - Tuesday 29 December 2016 11:54

Just remember this when their birthdays come around. FYL, OP. Merry Christmas.

Reply

blazingshot147 | 19

#6496896 - Wednesday 30 December 2016 5:32

Or maybe he could use the ol "I guess you don't have money for me, so I guess I don't have money for you" line.

By bunnyfish | 27

#6496192 - Tuesday 29 December 2016 11:56

Look and see if the nursing home from happy gilmore has an opening.

By thebakingseal | 22

#6496193 - Tuesday 29 December 2016 11:56

I’m so sorry, OP. See if you can question them about this

By zinoxity | 23

#6496194 - Tuesday 29 December 2016 12:02

Damn, that's messed up. I'm sorry, OP. I hope you're okay.

Reply

gamermonster | 34

#6496200 - Tuesday 29 December 2016 12:27

Why would OP not be okay? He/she didn't get hurt, except for emotionally.

Reply

moomimamoo | 24

#6496205 - Tuesday 29 December 2016 12:43

#9 - Emotional abuse is a form of hurt, I mean, you can sue for it now in courts in England (I don't know about the rest of the U.K.) so that must mean something...?

Reply

cloudyface | 23

#6496381 - Tuesday 29 December 2016 17:20

Emotional abuse and emotional pain are two VERY different things.

By a3gab | 17

#6496195 - Tuesday 29 December 2016 12:03

Sorry op it sucks I know just let it go that's what I'll do if i were you

Reply

tantanpanda | 26

#6497582 - Thursday 31 December 2016 3:12

Uh, no. OP'S parents purposefully left OP out. That's a giant asshole move. I'd use this as a guilt trip in the future.

By gsam99 | 20

#6496197 - Tuesday 29 December 2016 12:07

In my experience, poor people don't brag about being poor. He could have been lying to avoid telling him.

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DoomedGemini | 37

#6496468 - Tuesday 29 December 2016 18:52

If so, wouldn't he have just not brought it up or lie and say he bought op something as well?

By RodzillaX | 30

#6496198 - Tuesday 29 December 2016 12:15

Get him a card filled with glitter, to show your appreciation.

By tygerarmy | 35

#6496206 - Tuesday 29 December 2016 12:44

Confront them about it. If you had done it there maybe your grandfather would have stood up for you. Either way stand up for yourself, and don't do that if you ever have kids.

Reply

BigbenMrJDM | 12

#6496230 - Tuesday 29 December 2016 13:37

Grandfather?

Reply

tygerarmy | 35

#6496577 - Tuesday 29 December 2016 21:21

I mean uncle, for some reason I thought the OP's father was lying to his father.

By teacupofsunshine | 29

#6496211 - Tuesday 29 December 2016 13:06

Naughty list?