Today, I found out I was the top ranking sales person for 2014. What did last year's winner receive? An all-expenses paid weekend holiday. What did I receive? A ham. I'm vegetarian. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my loving but absent-minded father gave me a packet of ham for my birthday, which would be pretty shit even if I hadn't been a strict vegetarian for the last 27 years. FML
Today, the only birthday present I got was a gift card to a steak house. Not a bad gift, but I'm a vegan. FML
Today, I got a letter back from the family I will be staying with as a part of an exchange program. Apparently they own a slaughterhouse type farm, and I'm expected to kill one of their animals and eat it as a gift from the family. I'm a vegan. FML
Today, I found out that my company is paying more for hors d'oeuvres at one party than I will receive for my entire year long internship. FML
Today, our company hit our sales goals, an all-time high since before the pandemic. Our reward after working so hard all year long? A goodie bag with a keychain with the company logo on them. When I suggested a bonus, my boss said, “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.” FML
Today, my vegetarian housemate cleaned the fridge. He threw away all of the meat in our fridge and made a nice sign stating "Meat is Murder". I was storing roughly $1000 worth of filet mignon steaks and seafood for my sister's wedding. FML
Today, my boss was hosting some client representatives for a meeting and had offered to buy everyone lunch. The "healthy" place he's ordering from made me sick last time, so I'd politely opted out. At lunch, the reps glared at me in the meeting room as I ate my homemade chili con carne. Turns out they're all vegans. FML
Today, my mom decided to surprise me by bringing homemade dinner over. I've been living off of ham sandwiches for over a week because I've been too busy and tired from work to cook. Of all the things she could have made, what did she make? Ham sandwiches. Thanks, mom. FML
Today, I went to a work party where we had a Secret Santa. I gave a nice set of beer bottles with glasses. When my name was called I naturally picked the biggest gift. I got groceries. I now have dog food and men's body spray. I don't have a boyfriend or a dog. FML
Today, I discovered that as thanks for my successful efforts to increase my company's monthly revenue, my dumbass of a boss has been awarded a pay bonus. He's wasted no time telling everyone about the sports car he's planning to buy with it. FML
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Top comments
iSativa 24
Donate it to a homeless shelter. It may not have been a good gift for you but a whole ham will be the world to someone who doesn't have much
1nertia 15
You're from Western Australia, I'm from New South Wales. I'm happy to take the ham, and it'll take about a weekend to drive here. So you can have an all expenses paid (by you) trip to deliver my ham!
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Comments (79)
SparksTheSadie 18
FYL, but just curious: how does someone 'deserve it' for being vegetarian?
sicksadworld1317 30
Regrettably; too many people stereotype vegetarians as being insane PETA fanatics who must shove our beliefs down everyone's throat- and that's not the case for many of us. I'm a vegetarian by personal choice, and I recognize that it is MY choice- I'll share my beliefs if asked and someone is genuinely curious; but I'm still the type to cook my glazed maple bacon for family and friends while happily munching on soy based bacon alternatives. That said, I've had many people blow up at me simply finding out that I'm a vegetarian because of the stereotype- yet I've never once pushed someone to become a vegetarian. People seem to feel that vegetarians deserve the crap we get because they believe in the stereotype all too often. It's not fair- but it is what it is. Every vegetarian is an individual just as every omnivore is an individual; and it would be nice if we could all be treated as such before people start making assumptions and hitting "YDI" on every vegetarian related FML.
EvilLittleMan 23
I hope the ham at least had a bone in it. If not, then you got screwed by your company with a boneless ham.
simsgirlgem 25
you could give it to charity
Verst 16
Your boss is a real swine.
sethlynwood 7
Was it a honey baked?
yaxm1000 10
Sorry you lucked out; or budget cuts or what ever. Apart from that fact, I'm a vego too, give it to your fam or a homeless shelter. Still FYL OP. And merry Christmas xo
blackvyper 8
You received more than enough. Be thankful!
SparksTheSadie 18
Be thankful for something you have no use for and which goes against your values?
Dellipop 12
Wow I can't believe everyone is acting like OP should just be grateful for what he got. I am imagining he put in extra hard work and possible long hours with the hopes of a holiday or something just as grand. Then to get a ham. I would have posted this even if I was a vegetarian. How unfair!
5Ronins 4
That's the same thing Homer Simpson got for saving the whole city from a nuclear melt-down.
TwinkyRocket420 6
I'm sorry ??