Excuuuuuuse me?

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 13:32 - Canada - Toronto

Spicy
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks 55 417
You deserved it 11 491

Same thing different taste

Top comments

SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18

"Perform intercourse on me in a mildly rough manner..."

Comments

chatwithstar 7

Well at least he has a nice vocabulary.

yes, but after this his sex life may be more vapid.

155- #144 is referring to a past fml regarding the word vapid.

SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18

"Perform intercourse on me in a mildly rough manner..."

"I appear to be reaching my climax. If you do not mind, I will now begin to accelerate my body motions so that I may achieve optimum pleasure. I would highly appreciate if you moan my name in ecstasy, so as to further excite me."

Translation: Moan my name bitch, I'm coming!

almost, almost, almost, almost and there we go. ah good show.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

And this is how the English are perceived when having sex.

Oh god your comment 54 made me cry tears from laughing hahahaha

132 -- As opposed to crying... what, butter?

I thought it was going to be like "sex me"

Epsilonyx 15

This was the best comment thread ever. Thanks guys hahaha

brand2017 9

"You and me baby aint nuthin but mammals so lets do it like they do on the discovery channel" :D

your profile picture just made this comment much more amusing to me idk

#116 that reminds me of a steel panther song where axel tips the maid a $100 bill to clean the wet patch of the bed.

Doesn't seem like a good thing in this case

Yeah, it sounds like she's having sex with her dad.

ncsteven10101010 11

Wow 98 that escalated quickly!

Let me explain my warped logic. The "dad" part comes from how he doesn't like her bad language.

Oh. Thanks for clearing that bit up for us.

gaaah double post -.- DAMN YOU SPOTTY COVERAGE! *waves fist in the air*

Obey_StudBoii 23
Obey_StudBoii 23

Did I ever say there was, jerk? NO

Excuse me sir, but you seem to be the jerk here. Touché. Mwhahhuhahh.

I never meant that in a rude way so don't be rude with me, dick.

115- who are you referring to. I'm slightly confused.

CharresBarkrey 15

79 - Usually the "____ much?" Comments are intended to be negative and sarcastic.

I noticed what you meant before you explained it. Thanks though.

Obey_StudBoii 23

Mr. Grinch? Last time I checked I'm not green, fuzzy, or male.

Obey_StudBoii 23

Lmfao why am I arguing with a child? You have alot to learn. Respect your elders instead of treating them like crap.

You don't get respect unless you earn it, and you have definitely not earned it. I will not let someone treat me like you're treating these other commenters just because they are older than me.

My God, I hate it when people use that so loosely. "Respect your elders." Pfft, I agree with the above poster, earn it! You were unnecessarily rude for someone simply pointing something out. Also it's rude to look down on someone because of their age. If I'm completely honest I assumed Lioness was the older one as she didn't resort to calling her stupid, irrelevant names such as "Mr Grinch"! So no, just because you're older does NOT mean someone has to respect you.

192- thank you so much. And in a way I do agree with obey_ studboii. I do have a lot to learn. I'm only 15! But I do know to respect my elders. But I'm not going to respect a bitch who calls me childish names. You're only arguing with me because you don't want to face the fact that you lost this argument to a 15 year old. And it's like 192 said, I'm the one that's clearly more mature than you.

Obey_StudBoii 23

Guys it's Christmas. Have a good one.

That's the most intelligent comment you've made so far.

well ****, that was ******* harsh! What the **** is his ******* problem, what a ******* idiot! **** your life!

Obey_StudBoii 23

How many times can you drop the "F Bomb" in a sentence? 6

9 - Actually there were three sentences, there were two "f-bombs" in the first sentence, three in the second, and one in the third.

Im gonna try for ten! **** him, cuz he is a ****** who ******* hates ******* dirty ******* language, but you ******* shouldn't have ******* told him to **** you, so **** you and **** your life! Awww yeah!

ryry013 6

Honestly you could keep going.

TellMeWhatsDeath 14
Obey_StudBoii 23

#22 You might want to look again. "F-ing" counts as "F---k". I know I'm right :-)

#29 **** yeah bitch lol I meant no disrespect #29

Jdog619 11

Hypothetically, you could have a ******* infinite amount of "f-bombs" in a ******* sentence; this is because there is no ******* limit to the amount of ******* semi-colons you can use to join multiple independent clauses; it can go on for ******* ever.

Or you could have a sentence that consists almost entirely of the f bomb... **** the ******* *******.

This thread reminds me of that scene from Planes Trains and Automobiles

33- a haiku, but instead 5,7,5 it's 1,2,1

like a ******* boss. now give it a try for 15 ! show me what you got !

^ @ 29. sorry, not used yet on how to reply correctly

Hey! Watch your ******* mouth! There's ******* ladies around here you ****-sucking bitch-ass motherfucking douche! Btw, I ******* see what the **** you did there, ******. ;)

For that filthy mouth I guess he is going to put something else in there, instead of a bar of soap.