Today, I found out all about my son's secret online double life. He's been moonlighting for two years as a male prostitute by the name of Peter Parker. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I found out my son's girlfriend is actually a webcam porn star he pays for private sessions. He’s somehow convinced himself they have a real relationship, and is spending thousands of pounds every week, on his credit card I may add. FML
Today, I found out my happily married father has been hiring escorts on-line for 3 years. FML
Today, I found out that my son has been telling me he's gay so we would allow the "female friend" who is actually his girlfriend to stay over. FML
Today, I found out the man I have been dating is my son’s principal. I found out by having to pick my suspended son up from school. FML
Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML
Today, I found out that my son and his stepdad have bonded over covering for each others' misbehaviour so I don’t find out. Between them they have kept it secret that my son sneaks out at 1am to see his secret girlfriend, that my husband lost £500 gambling, that my son scratched the car… The list goes on. FML
Today, I learned that my son goes on online chat rooms and has sexual fantasy role-play. To make matters worse, the characters he uses are from My Little Pony. FML
Today, I found out my son was never accepted into the local university two years ago. He actually went out and got a job, and only lied about it so he could keep living in my house rent-free. The conniving bastard makes more than I do at my minimum-wage job. FML
Today, I found out that my son had sold his house key to one of his friends for half a packet of gum. Now there is someone out there who I have never met with full access to my house. My son is 16. FML
Today, I found out that the student tutor my son advised me to hire was my son's girlfriend. I have been paying her $20 an hour for the last 3 weeks to make out with my son in his room. FML
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Top comments
docscientist 10
He should've called himself "Peter Porker."
Nikki_ASW 0
Isn't that spiderman....?
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Comments (181)
Moota 9
I'm soo looking that up now....
ifailplzinsultme 0
Peter Parkers motto is "Always cums on time"
jackmay20 4
hahaha nice
ilovemusic7 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
^^ disappointing. does nobody know spiderman anymore? :(
ATLforever7 6
My childhood is ruined.
cyppy11 3
*insert Spider-Man joke now*
sebastianduarte1 0
shut up
TheRealLori 0
Hope you didn't find that out after meeting up with him somewhere for a little web-swinging.
ProhibitionRose 14
>.>
flockz 20
and where does he hide his maryjane?
YacL 15
Don't worry, I thought it said Peter Pan at first, but I always double-read FMLs before commenting.
salvorican 24
Damn. You think Mary Jane knows? lol
truthteller202 0
mary Jane could be coming along since Mary Jane is a name for marijuana
MsMeiriona 2
hey, if she doesn't suspect something after he sold their marriage to the devil, she deserves it.