Today, I found out all about my son's secret online double life. He's been moonlighting for two years as a male prostitute by the name of Peter Parker. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I found out my son's girlfriend is actually a webcam porn star he pays for private sessions. He’s somehow convinced himself they have a real relationship, and is spending thousands of pounds every week, on his credit card I may add. FML
Today, I found out my happily married father has been hiring escorts on-line for 3 years. FML
Today, I found out that my son has been telling me he's gay so we would allow the "female friend" who is actually his girlfriend to stay over. FML
Today, I found out the man I have been dating is my son’s principal. I found out by having to pick my suspended son up from school. FML
Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML
Today, I found out that my son and his stepdad have bonded over covering for each others' misbehaviour so I don’t find out. Between them they have kept it secret that my son sneaks out at 1am to see his secret girlfriend, that my husband lost £500 gambling, that my son scratched the car… The list goes on. FML
Today, I learned that my son goes on online chat rooms and has sexual fantasy role-play. To make matters worse, the characters he uses are from My Little Pony. FML
Today, I found out my son was never accepted into the local university two years ago. He actually went out and got a job, and only lied about it so he could keep living in my house rent-free. The conniving bastard makes more than I do at my minimum-wage job. FML
Today, I found out that my son had sold his house key to one of his friends for half a packet of gum. Now there is someone out there who I have never met with full access to my house. My son is 16. FML
Today, I found out that the student tutor my son advised me to hire was my son's girlfriend. I have been paying her $20 an hour for the last 3 weeks to make out with my son in his room. FML
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Top comments
docscientist 10
He should've called himself "Peter Porker."
Nikki_ASW 0
Isn't that spiderman....?
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Comments (181)
huntermc7 0
Ha I'm trying to figure out how OP found out...
0opsie 6
46 - If you're desperate go look up the OP's son.
perdix 31
So, he makes his Green Gobblin'?
xX_LilSammie_Xx 4
how much is he getting paid?
tweetbaby14 18
I'd get caught in his web any day! ;)
angryoriental 0
apparently he sucks at that too as he still lives at home?!?
DoubleRainbows 1
your friendly neighborhood guy indeed.
Zombieslayer1 0
Gwen Stacy must have been pissed when she found out. I honestly hope someone knows what I'm talking about cuz it would be sad to think y'all only watched the movies.
Hidan_fml 0
46, even though you made me laugh, seriously dude, get a life.
OhHowFun 2
it would be even funnier if he went by Peter pecker... just saying....