Today, I found a used condom in my trash can. I have been happily married to my wife for 7 years, and we use other forms of birth control. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found a used condom and wrapper in the bathroom trash can at my girlfriends house. The condom is not a brand I've ever used. She lives alone. FML
Today, I found a used condom in my bed. I haven't had sex in months and now I'm terrified. FML
Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Today, after having gone off the pill a couple of weeks ago, I finally got my old friskiness back only to find part of a condom wrapper in my husband's pocket. Turns out he was impatient and went elsewhere. FML
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. Yesterday, I finally came to my senses and started using birth control. FML
Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML
Today, my boyfriend confided to me that he has a used condom collection. When I reacted with disgust, he "reassured" me that he only keeps the ones he uses with me. FML
Today, I went in for a routine check up. I also found out I have an incurable STD and that I’m pregnant. I’ve been married to my husband for 7 years and have never had sex with anyone else in my entire life. FML
Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML
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Top comments
Xx_Nikky_xX 4
Surprise!
steve412 0
Don't be quick to assume things. You'll make things worse.
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Comments (280)
alliteen 3
do you have a teenage daughter?
sceneginger013 1
Um maybe he has a son who is sexually active? Probably not from this post but you never know
BrianJRollTide 0
Apparently u can't satisfy her, I would do the same!
Bigboned38 0
Wow, your a tool
XxTooCoolxX 0
It's the cats. Just saying.
tensley5822mom 0
If you have kids from a previous marriage you might want to look into that first. But deff talk to your wife. You don't want to start off with trust issues.
BloodWiper 3
I somehow read this as 'I had to use a condom I found in the trash' O.o
gman90210 18
Well that's why it's been a happy marriage. I had one like that once till I found out she had been cheating on me then it went downhill after I confronted her. So either be happy and don't assume the worst or have a clear mind and find out?
jayAZ 3
**** I hope ya got kids!! Probably not huh! The pool boy had a quicky with the gardener!? Yeah that's it!
anthonydude 9
Op never specified if the garbage can was outside or inside. One day I found a fishing pole in my outside garbage, I don't even own a fishing pole. He could possibly have a child who is having sex. The world may never know.
chowderchimp 2
Suffocate her with the condom, then throw her in the trash can!! Lol