Today, I found a used condom in my trash can. I have been happily married to my wife for 7 years, and we use other forms of birth control. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found a used condom and wrapper in the bathroom trash can at my girlfriends house. The condom is not a brand I've ever used. She lives alone. FML
Today, I found a used condom in my bed. I haven't had sex in months and now I'm terrified. FML
Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Today, after having gone off the pill a couple of weeks ago, I finally got my old friskiness back only to find part of a condom wrapper in my husband's pocket. Turns out he was impatient and went elsewhere. FML
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. Yesterday, I finally came to my senses and started using birth control. FML
Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML
Today, my boyfriend confided to me that he has a used condom collection. When I reacted with disgust, he "reassured" me that he only keeps the ones he uses with me. FML
Today, I went in for a routine check up. I also found out I have an incurable STD and that I’m pregnant. I’ve been married to my husband for 7 years and have never had sex with anyone else in my entire life. FML
Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML
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Top comments
Xx_Nikky_xX 4
Surprise!
steve412 0
Don't be quick to assume things. You'll make things worse.
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Comments (280)
noelykins1 19
I think he was referring to the happily married part. OP believes they are happily married, however his wife may not. But I agree the condom could be someone else's. possibly the neighbors. NEVERMIND.
dannie441 4
Do you have any kids?
TsarKeith12 9
No kids?
Pauline96_fml 20
Do you have kids?
badgemaster 13
Bitches man... Bitches...?
lycanpyro 6
What if they have kids and are just clueless parents
LeoCor 19
Well I'm the end at least you know she is 100% protected from getting pregnant with that guy