Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my best friend told me he masturbates to my Instagram page. Thanks, I guess. FML
Today, I read some funny scribblings on a wall in the bathroom stall. My first instinct was to "Like" it. FML
Today, I took a picture in front of my bathroom mirror and posted it on Facebook. When I checked it later, it had 20 comments on the picture. I was feeling good until I read the comments and looked at the picture again. I'd left my vibrator on the the bathroom counter. FML
Today, while I was showering, someone left a note on the bathroom door that read, "We can all hear you masturbating. Shut the hell up." I don't know what's more embarrassing, that everyone in my house thought I was masturbating or that I was actually singing. FML
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
Today, I found a note on my door that said, "You're the sexiest person I've ever stalked." Later, I found another note that said, "Sorry, that was meant for your roommate. You aren't my type." Not even a creepy stalker thinks I'm attractive. FML
Today, I logged onto Facebook to see one of my "friends" had used my account to post a coming-out story. It had comments on it such as "I knew it!" "Finally." and "That explains so much." FML
Today, I decided to do naked yoga in my lounge room, as I always do. Later, I found a note on my front door saying "Keep doing what you're doing". FML
Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML
Today, I found a note on the front door of my flat saying, "You left your keys in your garage door so I put them in your letter box". Guess where my letter box key is. FML
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Top comments
LlamaFlavoured 24
Someone's got a stalker...
RecklessJellyBea 7
Ah, FB. A stalker's library.
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Comments (189)
CabbageTrees 13
At least they're honest...?
Dcm210 19
some has a crush on you.
afulks78 11
That's funny ! And creepy lol
ih82bl8 2
Are you a guy or a girl, if Ur a girl- kinda flatering, if u r a guy...
drawmesunshine 17
What? What if OP's a guy?? It must mean that he has a couple of -homosexual- stalkers because no woman anywhere has ever masturbated. Idiot.
amanda_d95 9
Looks like someone "likes" you
Muser97 1
Dude that's just plain creepy. I would block this person
KiddNYC1O 22
Stalkers be crazyy.
pleasebitch_fml 0
I think it's just your friends messing with you
Taz23_fml 6
Well u now knw ur hot enough to nake somone play with thelselves, and wanted enought to have a stalker.
kristat 14
That's pretty damn funny. I'm sure its just a friend messing with you, because I'd hope you aren't dumb enough to actually put your address on a public facebook....