Intimacy: Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing....

By esb - 13/08/2009 15:23 - Canada

Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 858

You deserved it 8 327

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Same thing different taste

By jessica - 02/02/2011 20:59 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 357

You deserved it 7 465

Yummy

By lovely - 26/02/2014 18:53 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 121

You deserved it 10 610

By scubai - 14/01/2010 20:36 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 583

You deserved it 5 698

Wandering

By kmyltd - 14/09/2016 06:18 - Australia - Mount Eliza

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I remembered I had a Reese's Krispy Kreme doughnut in the car. I orgasmed while thinking about a doughnut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 872

You deserved it 3 588

Say yes

By fuckingdonuts - 18/05/2015 02:54 - United States - Edmond

Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 057

You deserved it 5 182

By FawnPrincess - 17/11/2017 15:00

Today, my boyfriend bought my favorite doughnuts for our anniversary. After settling down and pouring a glass of wine, I grabbed a doughnut and quickly realized the filling inside wasn't jelly. He thought it would be funny to replace it with toothpaste. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 217

You deserved it 443

Saucy

By donutsex - 05/08/2014 16:48 - United States - Georgetown

Today, since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said its like having sex with a hot doughnut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 237

You deserved it 9 068

Kinky

By sandwichsex - 08/08/2009 22:39 - United States

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 161

You deserved it 11 993

By Anonymous - 02/01/2013 19:02 - Canada - Belle River

Today, at a house party, I finally got the guy I've been seeing alone in his room. We started making out, and I got on top of him to take control. He responded by saying he couldn't do it because he needed to go make pizza for his friends, and then bolted out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 992

You deserved it 9 877

By Anonymous - 18/08/2015 13:26 - United States - Manchester

Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 324

You deserved it 4 024

YoStephy123 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 19:16

Kinky.

aback 4

Thursday 13 August 2009 19:20

So dress up like a cop. ...on second thought, an "under the bed" doughnut would be a dealbreaker, anyway.

Comments

DasStig 0

Friday 14 August 2009 2:31

Maybe hes tryin to combine two experiences for you so that you are more likely to ******.. Donuts are pretty good...

ojosverdes26 6

Friday 14 August 2009 2:33

YDI! You should've noticed that he had been getting boners while watching you eating. Obvious food fetish is obvious. Great guy? I think not.

Photogression 0

Friday 14 August 2009 2:41

W T F Why the face?

3timesthefun 0

Friday 14 August 2009 2:53

lmfaaao, doughnut ;) maybe it was his own doughnut..

Ree_rel 0

Friday 14 August 2009 3:11

k... I have to ask.... WHY does he keep a box of donuts under his bed? Seems unsanitary to say the least..

ilovewolfy 0

Friday 14 August 2009 3:36

He snarled? Ooooo sexeh.

Footballdabest8 0

Friday 14 August 2009 3:48

tht is the funniest shit I've ever heard

MetalProphet 0

Friday 14 August 2009 4:03

Is he an avenged sevenfold fan?...might me kinda relavent XD

furry_fml 6

Friday 14 August 2009 4:12

You just made my day

xoxoCheer 0

Friday 14 August 2009 4:13

wtf.!? this guy sucks. find someone else. BUT HE'S SO EFFIN HILARIOUS!

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The Top

Today, I summoned up the courage to tell my crush how I've felt about her for the past two years. I really poured out my heart and soul, and she nodded and smiled throughout. Once I'd finished, she told me that she believes "sex is unnatural", and that she could never date a guy who wanted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 275

You deserved it 4 534

Today, I found my husband on a dating app and I was gonna kick his ass, until I realised that would mean admitting I’m on the same app, so I deleted mine but now I need to figure out a way of explaining how I know he’s still on it, so I can kick his ass. We have a twisted relationship, I know this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 174

You deserved it 2 420

The Top

Today, I found out that the girl that my boyfriend considers “one of the guys” isn’t really one of the guys after all. I trusted him to let her stay at his house overnight on several occasions, and to spend alone time with her. She’s pregnant, and the baby is his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 287

Today, I had to deal with a lady who claimed her son was autistic to try and skip the queue. Even her son was saying he’s not autistic, and she was screaming in his face that yes he was. I happen to be genuinely autistic. Security threw her out, and I was jealous that I didn’t get to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 154

You deserved it 117

Today, my friend dragged me out of a movie because they swore a bit and there was drug use. Apparently, she's a Mormon now, and, "doesn't want her values compromised." This from the same girl who tried to get me to try crack a few weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 764

You deserved it 210

Today, my loving but absent-minded father gave me a packet of ham for my birthday, which would be pretty shit even if I hadn't been a strict vegetarian for the last 27 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 651

You deserved it 710

Today, the power went out so my family all stayed together in a one room to keep warm. I was on the bed against the wall and reached my hand down, only to find my panties tucked in the side of my brother's bed. Not one pair, but two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 306

You deserved it 90

Today, I finally found my cellphone when I heard WHACKWHACKWHACK inside the washing machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 053

You deserved it 29 325