PissyPants
United States
Today, I finally got my first kiss. I was so excited, I pissed myself. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Same thing different taste
RitaDahhlinnnng
United States
Today, I had my first real date with my first serious boyfriend. I was nervous because from past experience. I learned my lips were a bit ticklish and I usually giggled a bit during kissing. Well, we started making out and I thought was I doing pretty good hiding my laughs. Until I wet myself. FML
shelly
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
United States
Sprinkler
Today, I was locked out of my house and had to pee. I waited an hour for my boyfriend to come home. When I saw him pull into the driveway, I peed myself in excitement. FML
hollysofly
United States
Today, I went on the first date of my life. I also burped during my first kiss. FML
Killme
Today, as a birthday present, my friends threw a surprise party for me. I was so surprised, I pissed myself in front of everyone, including my crush. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my toddler peed in his potty for the first time. He was so excited to show me that he flung the pot in the air dousing my face with his piss. Then he laughed. FML
shitfaced
Sassenheim, Netherlands
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
alf
France
Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML
never again
Bakersfield, United States
A real ******
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I like, but I had to pee really bad. It got really wet down there, and he thought I squirted. I peed everywhere. I let him believe he made me squirt. FML
ac-hoo
India
Today, the man of my dreams kissed me. It was everything I had imagined it would be until in the middle of the kiss, he burped. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I took my driver's test. I was so nervous that I peed my pants halfway through the exam. FML
Top comments
tencentsakiss 19
Puppys also piss when excited. Are you sure you aren't really a puppy? Bad dog! Get off the Internet.
superbadd 0
mah first kiss went a little this *muah* then piss *ssss* *ssss* then piss :D
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Comments (292)
FYLyo 0
Actually 141- Male bud isn't smoked, the female is for their buds which is why it's called bud. You can't smoke the male.
Baker_FoCo 0
176 Win! It's been a long time since I heard a R Kelly joke. That just made my day.
lololol32 0
Hahaha just tell him that you're "really really wet" and give him a wink ;)
ElleB 0
No you didn't! Can't you come up with something better?
NatDancer2010 0
that's hilarious! well that's just too precious, hope you keep your adorable innocence
raymel 5
creeper..,.,
Trgdy 0
Umm hey im the OP and im 13. :/
superbadd 0
it's okay. u were just excited nd nervous. dnt worry u will be ok.
FyourLIFEdotCOM8 0
132 actually plants do have genders. there are female and male plants.
danyfuckinheatle 0
that's gross, I bet he hit you. back in the kitchen woman.
Residence_fml 4
I think you are rather ignorant because of your divorce even when there are kids involved and still sound so proud of it. You married before you were well into you twenties, so you were young and your relationship was puppy love, and now you are even divorced?! Also reffering to '17 year olds' really necassery? True those don't know very much about life yet but you are only 8 years older; divorced when only 25 years old because you suddenly remembered ******* that same 17 year old was nice and leave 2 kids alone with their mom but don't worry you will buy them presents from those 150k you earn every year? no good sir you have accomplished nothing with your life. Good luck with the next 25 years. OP, what else to say then you must have been REALLY excited! Sorry for any grammer errors I typed this on my cell which is really annoying to do.