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Today, I found out that I was adopted. I'm 46 years old with 11 real siblings and no one bothered to tell me until I found the documents in my dead adoptive father's house. FML

By Ariella / Monday 29 August 2011 04:06 / Singapore
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By  missL1z  |  5

Maybe to their eyes, you were never adopted and has always been part of the family. Also, we don't know what's the arrangement made by both families when they adopted you so it's hard to say.

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  deaper  |  12

How the frigging Hell is it for OP'S "OWN GOOD"? I'm adopted and have known it since I was old enough to be able to understand what adoption is! Being adopted has never really had ANY IMPACT (neither positive OR negative) on me! I'm GLAD that my parents told me I was adopted! I've never met either my biological mother or father, but I would like to do so AT SOME POINT... Not so that I can be upset with them in ANY WAY WHATSOEVER! But because I'd like to EARNESTLY THANK MY MOTHER for making the (most likely) VERY DIFFICULT choice to give me up for adoption! She was only 16 when she gave birth to me! Had she done the INCREDIBLY SELFISH CHOICE of keeping her baby, chances are EXTREMELY LIKELY that I would have spent (most of) my life IN THE RAGS OF POVERTY!!! So HELL YEAH I'M THRILLED that she made the choice to GIVE her newborn son A CHANCE at a GOOD LIFE, rather than SELFISHLY TRYING to raise me herself, forcing me to live in poverty throughout my childhood! So please feel free to explain how the freaking hell it's for OP's OWN GOOD?

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  StopDropNRoll  |  11

Tbh if my mom loves me I wouldn't care if I were raised in poverty. I would be glad she kept me and tried her best to support me. Although if I were adopted I would feel a bit hurt that my parents gave me away but grateful that they brought me into this world.

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  dre_bro11  |  12

28, I understand where you're coming from, cause my best friend who tells me everything is adopted, but you didn't have to go off like that. It's not exactly easy for everyone to understand everything, and it just happens that 1 thinks of it differently than you. And from the way I read it, I actually thought 1 was talking about the fact that OP was adopted, not that her parents kept it from her.

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  saksxalmo  |  20

I've heard that wealth has little affect on happiness after a certain point (once you have everything you need to live comfortably) but it's a myth that poverty makes you happier. I'm pretty sure that you don't feel happier if your mom is a heroin addict and you can't afford asthma medication just because you can "appreciate things" more.

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  krazy_glu3  |  0

28- calm down a bit, and stop with the caps lock. I figured #1 meant it as in OP was given up for their own good. Maybe their parents weren't good people, drug addicts or abusive. Therefore it is better than OP was adopted rather than stay in that situation. Or even ur situation. It's better that you were adopted rather than stay with your young mother, and she wouldn't have been able to provide you fully with what you need.... Get it now? Not sure what you were getting all upset about..

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Movie reference time! He could use lake wood as reference for resurrection, or he could use the hot tub from Hot Tub Time machine to go back. This is a hard decision. *Jeopardy music plays*.

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  dre_bro11  |  12

64, I think your meaning of 'poverty' is different to the rest of us. When I hear poverty, I think about those people in third world countries, or those living on the streets in our own countries... Not someone who's poor cause their mum (mom) spends all their money on drugs.

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  leadman1989  |  15

Or you could have grown up in foster home after foster home until you aged out of the system with a subpar education and minimal options for further schooling or employment... Either way you were fortunate. Some people aren't as good at dealing with or explaining these situations your adoptive parents made that call based on your emotional/mental state you cannot possibly make this judgment without knowing all possible facts about op's situation and that off their adoptive and biological patents.

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  Hoopachi  |  19

You never really get over to being adopted unless there are others that are in the same household as you that were also adopted. However you can get used to it, just know that someone wanted OP, better then being stuck at one of those god forsaken orphanages

By  phazza  |  1

what if your real family are total twats, maybe he was protecting you. you ungrateful git :/

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Well Lets face it no matter what he was better off with the new family 1 the real parents could be drunks crackgeads ect 2 they could be dead 3 they couldve been in no position to raise a kid properly

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  JAB2014  |  1

Whether the family was bad or not, it's still the right thing to tell him/her. Then let em' judge for themselves if they decide to meet their real parents or if the adoptive parents tell them about their real mom and dad.

By  missL1z  |  5

Maybe to their eyes, you were never adopted and has always been part of the family. Also, we don't know what's the arrangement made by both families when they adopted you so it's hard to say.

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  DjeePee  |  24

And don't forget that it can be pretty hard/awkward to tell to your 46-year-old sibling that he's adopted. I That's more the job of the (adoption-)parents, not that of all the siblings.

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Regardless of whether or not she was always part of the family I'd have wanted to know if I was adopted. That's really important knowledge. Though, if they kept it from you specifically because the birth parents requested them not to tell then I commend your adoptive parents for being so respectful towards them. Your adoptive father going so far as to take it with him to the grave and all. I wonder how many more of the 11 siblings were adopted? If any.

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  jtoy  |  0

I agree, I was thinking that since the parents raised him as a kid they looked as him ad their own child and u also don't know about the arrangements by the real parents if they couldn't take care of him at the time or even if they were dead, still his parents loved him a lot.

By  davidlime  |  3

you're 46 and on FML, you got bigger problems.

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  deaper  |  12

I agree with the first response. There is no (nor should there be! an) age limit to FML.. But at the same time I can understand at least a bit where OP is coming from.... FML DOES (typically) appeal more to younger generations than to older ones!

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  Rachaelc23  |  8

You have just as many for making stupid fucking comments on fml. If that's all you had to say you could have just signed off and walked away. But you're a fucking idiot. He wants a little understanding you asshole

By  nadhirah  |  4

It was the best decision he could make at that point of time. Obviously he loves you like you're family. And maybe he did want to tell you when the time is right. But he couldn't find that time yet. If it hurts you, it hurts him even more.

By  Sunny_Eclipse  |  6

Now you can add "Find real family" to your Bucket List!

By  herop  |  0

It doesnt matter if you are adopted or not. The matter is if you really grown up well, well educated and your parents loved you so much. Your real parents refused you but your new family accepted you and make a home to you so your new family is your "real" family

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