Love: Today, I finally got my first kiss. I was so excited, I pissed... - FML

By PissyPants - 20/06/2010 05:12 - United States

Today, I finally got my first kiss. I was so excited, I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 232

You deserved it 29 363

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Same thing different taste

By RitaDahhlinnnng - 25/08/2009 23:56 - United States

Today, I had my first real date with my first serious boyfriend. I was nervous because from past experience. I learned my lips were a bit ticklish and I usually giggled a bit during kissing. Well, we started making out and I thought was I doing pretty good hiding my laughs. Until I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 023

You deserved it 10 834

Sprinkler

By shelly - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was locked out of my house and had to pee. I waited an hour for my boyfriend to come home. When I saw him pull into the driveway, I peed myself in excitement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 986

You deserved it 7 589

By hollysofly - 15/01/2011 07:38 - United States

Today, I went on the first date of my life. I also burped during my first kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 199

You deserved it 7 964

By Killme - 13/07/2016 02:10

Today, as a birthday present, my friends threw a surprise party for me. I was so surprised, I pissed myself in front of everyone, including my crush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 161

You deserved it 2 129

By Anonymous - 16/06/2009 07:03 - United States

Today, my toddler peed in his potty for the first time. He was so excited to show me that he flung the pot in the air dousing my face with his piss. Then he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 557

You deserved it 5 218

By shitfaced - 18/09/2015 17:30 - Netherlands - Sassenheim

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 709

You deserved it 9 541

By alf - 27/10/2008 02:34 - France

Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 904

You deserved it 7 264

A real ******

By never again - 30/11/2019 01:00 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I like, but I had to pee really bad. It got really wet down there, and he thought I squirted. I peed everywhere. I let him believe he made me squirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 405

You deserved it 765

By ac-hoo - 04/02/2012 14:52 - India

Today, the man of my dreams kissed me. It was everything I had imagined it would be until in the middle of the kiss, he burped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 751

You deserved it 3 853

By Anonymous - 20/11/2010 15:46 - United States

Today, I took my driver's test. I was so nervous that I peed my pants halfway through the exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 176

You deserved it 17 269

Next

Top comments

tencentsakiss 19

Sunday 20 June 2010 12:14

Puppys also piss when excited. Are you sure you aren't really a puppy? Bad dog! Get off the Internet.

superbadd 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 13:06

mah first kiss went a little this *muah* then piss *ssss* *ssss* then piss :D

Comments

RKftw 0

Monday 21 June 2010 8:51

at 77 get a life -kthxbai

greenhair741 0

Monday 21 June 2010 9:13

you fail

morejazzplease 0

Monday 21 June 2010 9:52

19 on a previous post you were talking about how women like your small shlong... yet you haven't been kissed in 3-4 years??? hmmm

madarchod 0

Monday 21 June 2010 11:04

I cracked at the guy who says he makes $150k a year and even more on the homie in 119 who is propagandizing smoking pot.

meneedlove 0

Monday 21 June 2010 11:05

lol poor xD hope he didnt notice :)

Everlost 0

Monday 21 June 2010 11:38

hahahahahahahahaha

peace_love91 0

Monday 21 June 2010 12:06

wow lol

Daederoth 10

Monday 21 June 2010 12:28

Damn, making a girl piss herself from a kiss. What a man, what a man amoung men.

B3CC4 0

Monday 21 June 2010 15:08

yuh know how stupid that sounded cause weed has almost everything tabacco has in it and yuh also get addicted to it. it basically does that same thing as smoking but slower and un-noticeable .

DaMak510 0

Monday 21 June 2010 18:10

www. so if u had sex u wud shit ur pants cuz ur happy. people gotta watch out for bed wetters. it shouldn't be that easy to **** in ur pants.

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Today, I found out that my mother cheated on my father. It turns out she had a drunken one night stand with the manager of the restaurant that my parents own, and where I work. The same manager I have been secretly sleeping with for over six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 911

You deserved it 10 504

Today, I got called for a job interview. I didn't catch where it was, and in my excitement I forgot to ask. I now have no idea where I'm being interviewed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 704

You deserved it 35 200

Today, my freshman students got in a fist fight over a chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 693

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Today, I said to my wife that I wished I had met her 20 years ago. Her response was, "Twenty years ago I had beautiful tits and many options, I wouldn't have even looked at you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 250

You deserved it 5 919

Today, I took an exam, for which I have been studying for weeks, I was confident at first, but then really struggled with it. I finished with about ten minutes to spare, turned to what I thought would be the end of my paper and found the first page of questions I was supposed to have answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 344

Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me to get up so I did. He then paused and laughed. I was sleeping naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 068

You deserved it 6 560