PissyPants
United States
Today, I finally got my first kiss. I was so excited, I pissed myself. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
RitaDahhlinnnng
United States
Today, I had my first real date with my first serious boyfriend. I was nervous because from past experience. I learned my lips were a bit ticklish and I usually giggled a bit during kissing. Well, we started making out and I thought was I doing pretty good hiding my laughs. Until I wet myself. FML
shelly
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
United States
Sprinkler
Today, I was locked out of my house and had to pee. I waited an hour for my boyfriend to come home. When I saw him pull into the driveway, I peed myself in excitement. FML
hollysofly
United States
Today, I went on the first date of my life. I also burped during my first kiss. FML
Killme
Today, as a birthday present, my friends threw a surprise party for me. I was so surprised, I pissed myself in front of everyone, including my crush. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my toddler peed in his potty for the first time. He was so excited to show me that he flung the pot in the air dousing my face with his piss. Then he laughed. FML
shitfaced
Sassenheim, Netherlands
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
alf
France
Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML
never again
Bakersfield, United States
A real ******
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I like, but I had to pee really bad. It got really wet down there, and he thought I squirted. I peed everywhere. I let him believe he made me squirt. FML
ac-hoo
India
Today, the man of my dreams kissed me. It was everything I had imagined it would be until in the middle of the kiss, he burped. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I took my driver's test. I was so nervous that I peed my pants halfway through the exam. FML
Top comments
tencentsakiss 19
Puppys also piss when excited. Are you sure you aren't really a puppy? Bad dog! Get off the Internet.
superbadd 0
mah first kiss went a little this *muah* then piss *ssss* *ssss* then piss :D
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Comments (292)
mrmystery96 0
actually, and I am In no way agreeing with the potheads, plants do have sexual anatomical structures. the male being the stamen, and the female the pistil. however, more often than not, just about any plant will have both.
mrmystery96 0
my comment was aimed at 132. once again, I am in no way agreeing with the potheads.
DaylightDiesInNJ 0
Hey could be worse. My first kiss was on a school bus and the poor girl bashed her head against the window after the driver hit a pothole...needed 2 stitches. She was happy at least.
EdailEcstacy 0
Dude, does it really matter if i call it an ipod touch or an itouch. If you knew what I meant by it, then there was really no need for that (unnecessary) correction. Thanks(:
Charmedgrass37 0
lol at 22! I love The Lonely island and yah that's so sad :( really....how old r u????
Laurenlesley 0
who cares? why are you posting your whole life story on FML?
HawaiianHottie 0
132- sorry I'm gna sound nerdy... but technically plants do have sexes... that's how pollination happens... male plants don't pollenate... the plants look the same but have different parts within them... google it and you'll see I'm right :)
HawaiianHottie 0
190- you are gorgeous ;)...
briiana012 3
this is so fukkin fake dude
infernoblast24 0
guys he probably pissed his pants cuz he's 24 and he got his first kiss durrr and he shouldve gotten it years ago!!