Intimacy: Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started...

By Anonymous - 04/09/2011 16:21 - United States

Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 268

You deserved it 6 377

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Same thing different taste

By Geez - 19/10/2009 17:02 - Netherlands

Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 174

You deserved it 3 759

By tigerbyrn - 30/05/2016 15:35 - Canada - Scarborough

Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 052

You deserved it 2 085

By illequipt - 16/03/2009 03:20 - Canada

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204 520

You deserved it 32 051

By galen - 03/06/2009 06:06 - United States

Today, I hooked up with a girl from the bar. We went back to my place and started making out, I took off her shirt and bra and started kissing her breasts. I felt her chest hair tickle my tongue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 004

You deserved it 27 712

By depressed - 22/02/2010 07:23 - United States

Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 816

You deserved it 26 456

Escape route

By crap - 26/03/2009 08:37 - Thailand

Today, I went out with this girl I really liked and she came back to my place. Things were heating up and we ended up having sex. I was on top and really into it but in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said, "Hh, look at the time, I gotta get home." She wasn't wearing a watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 637

You deserved it 17 864

Smooth talker

By ugh - 31/01/2012 00:25 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 954

You deserved it 5 601

By shit.... - 08/11/2012 18:25 - Malaysia - Kuala Selangor

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 631

You deserved it 31 341

By Anonymous - 29/03/2009 19:09 - United States

Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 060

You deserved it 86 701

By Anonymous - 30/04/2013 18:24 - United States - Pompton Plains

Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 946

You deserved it 8 433

perdix 29

Monday 5 September 2011 0:06

It was probably because your **** was too big and mighty for her. She was afraid you might hurt her, so she wanted to go home and practice some Kegels to be ready for you in the future. Yeah, go with that.

melchibr_fml 0

Monday 5 September 2011 0:05

sounds like your evening was short

Comments

dowster 0

Monday 5 September 2011 3:42

atleast you now know she isn't lesbian! mean, I know

eatpussy 0

Monday 5 September 2011 3:48

Ask her for a chance and if she says yes use ur leg then be like "what now bitch!"

r8rs24 0

Monday 5 September 2011 8:44

LMAO!!! Good one! Lol

daydreamer244 13

Monday 5 September 2011 3:49

she's one of those girls....yeah it'd be best if you forget her.

shortperson247 4

Monday 5 September 2011 3:52

She probably felt guilty or wrong so she wanted to go home I don't blame her I would feel that way

justanotherhuman 21

Monday 5 September 2011 4:57

...elaborate. Sounds like you have some fun issues we could discuss.

gbreck 0

Monday 5 September 2011 19:54

you're pretty naive if you think THAT'S why she turned him down...

whited666 0

Monday 5 September 2011 4:13

Maybe she's a tease, I love doing that to girls :) and someone went home with blue balls xD

whited666 0

Monday 5 September 2011 4:13

Maybe she's a tease, I love doing that to girls :) and someone went home with blue balls xD

OneyNG 0

Monday 5 September 2011 4:18

She prolly meant take me to home base...

shutdafrontdoor 0

Monday 5 September 2011 4:19

It's ok op. It might not be your junk. Maybe she's just a cocktease. Girls can be like that. especially the ones who have a boyfriend and doesn't want to cheat but wants to know they still have it. It's a self esteem booster for them.