Today, I figured out my 1-year-old daughter likes to dip her hand in our dogs' water bowl, and rub the water on her face. So I put the water bowl out of reach. She then figured out how to open the bathroom door and use the toilet instead. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I gave my 8-month-old a bath in the kitchen sink after dinner, like I always do. Today, she decided to poop in it. FML
Today, my 3-year-old missed the toilet. In the time it took me to get paper towel to clean it up, my one-year-old decided it was the perfect puddle to play in. FML
Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's two year-old daughter. Within 15 minutes, she had crawled out of her crib, taken off her diaper, and smooshed her poop in between the cracks in the floor. I put her in the tub, left to get a towel, and came back to her pooping in the tub. FML
Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML
Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML
Today, I was working on potty training my daughter. She opened the fridge while I wasn't looking and peed all over the lower shelf. FML
Today, my 3-year-old girl accidentally caught sight of me stepping out of the shower. Now she thinks "daddy has a tail" and she just has to let everyone know about it. FML
Today, I left the door open while I went to the bathroom and my 11-month-old crawled in and then took off with my toilet paper. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML
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Top comments
vegetaftw 28
At least she knows how to wash her face.
shutupmichaela 18
she's 1, dude.
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Comments (104)
awesomeamandas 37
I think they make toilet lid locks so children can't hurt themselves while exploring. Try using one of those. If that doesn't work try locking the bathroom door.
hellphone_fml 37
have you tried to unlock a toilet lock while about to go in your pants, its awful
suckceed 17
Why not just give her, her own clean water bowl.
Xotoolyxo 16
Put a clean bowl of water on the floor
buttcramp 21
right on! yeah could be a texture thing
buttcramp 21
maybe she's trying to clean up? our 8 month old looooves the johnson's baby face and hand wipes. they come in a small yellow pouch. she can do it herself and its not messy.
Ki11erC 18
She wants to be clean, maybe a bath instead ;)
blackonblight 32
Give the kid a special dish for that then. Kid wants to splash her face, set up a little station in the kitchen for it with clean water. She'll be happy, the water will be more sanitary than the previous sources, and the dog doesn't get sticky fingers in his dish.
Meme1988 18
Why are you leaving so much time with the dog!! Lock the door!!!
Omniprism 14
Maybe give her her own bowl or a spritzer bottle.
dirtydiana57 3
Come on, you're, bigger, stronger, and smarter than a one year old. I bet you can come up with a way to keep the kid out of the toilet water.
SecretAngel16 4
Ur daughter is strange even for a one year old