Today, I figured out my 1-year-old daughter likes to dip her hand in our dogs' water bowl, and rub the water on her face. So I put the water bowl out of reach. She then figured out how to open the bathroom door and use the toilet instead. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I gave my 8-month-old a bath in the kitchen sink after dinner, like I always do. Today, she decided to poop in it. FML
Today, my 3-year-old missed the toilet. In the time it took me to get paper towel to clean it up, my one-year-old decided it was the perfect puddle to play in. FML
Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's two year-old daughter. Within 15 minutes, she had crawled out of her crib, taken off her diaper, and smooshed her poop in between the cracks in the floor. I put her in the tub, left to get a towel, and came back to her pooping in the tub. FML
Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML
Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML
Today, I was working on potty training my daughter. She opened the fridge while I wasn't looking and peed all over the lower shelf. FML
Today, my 3-year-old girl accidentally caught sight of me stepping out of the shower. Now she thinks "daddy has a tail" and she just has to let everyone know about it. FML
Today, I left the door open while I went to the bathroom and my 11-month-old crawled in and then took off with my toilet paper. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML
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Top comments
vegetaftw 28
At least she knows how to wash her face.
shutupmichaela 18
she's 1, dude.
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Comments (104)
AKAR2521 4
buy door knob covers
1jordan1 11
Why are you not paying attention to your kid? She shouldn't be left alone long enough to be able to walk into the bathroom and reach the toilet without you noticing. That's how kids drown.
JPEG7 12
sorry, i don't live the bathroom. My husband works a lot and I have to do other things, aka cook her food. and I didnt expect her to figure out how to open the door. But she did, and i took her away immediatly. I don't know how big your house is. but it takes me a couple seconds to run to the bathroom. she is fine. -.-
1jordan1 11
I wasnt saying you have to live in the bathroom. I was saying you should be paying more attention to your child. You should always be aware of where your kid is. That's how kids drown, choke, and get hurt. A parent looks away for just a second and then they're gone. I'm not saying "live in the bathroom", I'm saying prioritize.
JPEG7 12
okay, when you have a child, NEVER look away for ONE SECOND. Tell me how it works for ya. just hold them forever or maybe cut up veggies for dinner for her while looking at her. because if you look away, the earth will swallow them. what makes you think i was just not paying any attention? have you never even seen a toddler? you can be two feet away and not be able to stop them in time. they are not snails and she is not going to stop even if i tell her to.
1jordan1 11
For god sakes, the child is ONE. It's not three or four. You should know better. My nephew is 4 and I watch him all the time, sometimes for days at a time. It doesn't require keeping a constant eye on him, just being aware of where he is all the time. And my niece? She's almost one, as well, and again, I watch her very often. But I NEVER leave her alone long enough to be able to get her hands into a toilet because I'm not an idiot. We have a small set of stairs that she can't walk down yet, and I have to always watch her to make sure she doesn't fall down. Yes, I DO keep an eye on her THE WHOLE TIME because that's what a responsible person doesn't. They don't let a child roam free so they can do their own thing. That kid is ONE. That is still a BABY. Would you leave your baby on a changing table? No. Because it doesn't know to NOT FALL OFF.
Epic_Andrew 2
Well, this will be an embarrassing story when she grows up
gatorgirl2669 6
I would put the dog bowl back and she is going to have to learn the word NO... but you really do need to get a childproof handle for the bathroom door and keep it closed. Also get a clamp for the toliet... its about time to start child proofing the house.. doors, outlets, chords, cabinets... table edges.. b/c once they become mobile its all down hill from there
patchouli514 1
Your child could be experiencing some kind of irritation on her face. If this continues I would get her checked out for allergies or other issues. You never know.
sayyestothedress 24
Smart baby