Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was feeling frisky and my boyfriend was playing a video game in the living room. I started dancing in front of the T.V. with only my panties on, to which he responded, "You're every gamer's nightmare." FML
Today, my husband returned from being away for two weeks. I eagerly got myself ready and sent him a risqué picture so he would come to bed. An hour later, he's on the couch playing Xbox with the message already seen. FML
Today, when I got home from work I was pretty "in the mood" so I put on some cute undies and a tank top and went to get my boyfriends attention, he was so into his new computer game all I got was a half smile and a pat on the head. FML
Today, when I got home, the apartment was clean for once. I gasped in surprise, and my boyfriend came out of the bathroom, carried me to the bedroom, and brutally ravished me. Afterwards, I asked him what brought this on. "Well, I bought a new game and it took forever to download..." FML
Today, I came home in a really good mood, and I greeted my husband with a grin and a "Hi, babe!" He just muttered, "Why can't you just DIE?" and continued playing his video game. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML
Today, I came home upset about the sexism in my work place. I just wanted to be alone, but my husband insisted we talk about it. I noticed he kept looking over and one of his hands was moving. He was playing video games the entire time I was spilling my guts. FML
Today, after my boyfriend ignored me for hours playing video games, he gave me some attention for a little bit. When I tried to run my fingers through his hair, I missed and punched him in the face. FML
Today, I left my husband in charge of the house for a day. When I returned, I saw him gaming through the window, so I stormed in and yelled at him. Then, my eyes adjusted, and I saw the neatly folded laundry, clean kitchen, vacuumed rugs, and my son, who was asleep until I woke him. Whoops. FML
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Top comments
nightowl713 25
I would have walked right back out and changed into the least sexy thing I owned. And when he was ready Id be reading a book!
spikedrummer49 6
Getting to the save spot is pretty essential for gamers... If you waited for him you're an amazing wife!
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Comments (292)
timberwolf408 7
should have started without him...
TheWorldGreatest 8
Seriously can't stand video games , I think that there ruining the young. People !
RpiesSPIES 27
On the bright side, you'd rarely see a game use the wrong form of they're. Same thing goes for punctuation.
katt_is_here 24
I think that public education has failed you. Also, video games helped me learn how to read. How is that bad?
UsernameHere234 13
I kinda feel like a lot of these are partially both parties fault. Obviously he should want to have sex over a game and so making her wait is his fault but the way the fml is worded its like she never has sex when he wants to and she has to be in just the right mood which is just as frustrating.
UnidentifiedFun 37
Well where in the hell did you get the idea that she never does when he wants to? Nothing in this FML pertains to that idea.
EpicSquishii 21
You're supposed to be "in the right mood" to have sex. No one should be obligated to have sex if they don't want to. Do you really want a partner who "gives in" and goes through the motions just to shut you up? It's only good if both are active, willing, enthusiastic participants. Bad sex is worse than no sex in my opinion
Cyanhell 7
Maybe he wasn't in the mood then? It's implied that its only matters when she's in the mood?
UsernameHere234 13
50, of course you are supoosed to be in the right mood. All I'm saying is that we don't know what's going on in the house and the way its worded is sort of like "today I was frisky (which is unusual) so I decided to actually put some effort in it this time" which is obviously going to be frustrating for the guy. I don't care how much men are stereotyped to just want sex, its not true.
otisnme94 14
Get a new husband. He obviously dosent care about you enough to pause a ******* game. He's a loser. Get a real man.
TheAbstract 15
Sheesh, mellow down Mrs Claus. Just because the dude plays videogames doesn't mean he's not a real man. Videogames are serious business. If you honestly believe that she should find a real man because of something as small as this.. Well, it just seems unnecessary.
DocBastard 40
Yes, she should end a marriage because of one incident where he made her wait 15 minutes for sec. You clearly know a lot about relationships and should definitely be a marriage counselor. We married people would be much better off following your advice, breaking up our marriages OVER FRIVOLOUS BULLSHIT.
TheAbstract 15
Well said, Doc.
panicsdisaster 17
If my girl went through all that effort she would have to be fixing her hair up again soon.
JukeboxBanshee 10
Well said. Bravo to your enthusiasm.
wvcheesehead1 9
You should have taken the time to prepare him a sandwich.
SweetasCandy0609 28
wow by that point i would of said forget it.
MisterEx 28
Oh God! A man that doesn't drop on his knees and start to furiously ********** at the sight of his woman suggesting sex when SHE feels like it? The end is near, people.
Fuhkyoo 17
maybe its because instead of masturbating, he can have sex. seems like a no-brainer to me
dupot420 9
You don't mess with men when playing video games.
Crowing87 1
Would you turn off American Idol on the apot because he wants to ****? Double standard.
yoursucklives 36
i think it's the most sexy thing when a man shows that he wants you now. so of course i would turn off everything.
CharresBarkrey 16
Considering OP is in the UK, yes, I think she would turn off American Idol.
MzMegs 20
I personally would drop anything on the spot if my guy wanted to get it on.
mkimbee 9
Yikes that would mean I'd have to watch American Idol in the first place. I'd rather skull **** a monkey with Ebola than watch that drivel.