Today, my husband returned from being away for two weeks. I eagerly got myself ready and sent him a risqué picture so he would come to bed. An hour later, he's on the couch playing Xbox with the message already seen. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML
Hello?
Today, after a 16-hour work day, I came home to my husband. I talked to him for about 10 minutes, then realized that he wasn't answering me but had his headset on and was talking on Xbox live. Not even playing a game, just talking. FML
Assumptions
Today, I left my husband in charge of the house for a day. When I returned, I saw him gaming through the window, so I stormed in and yelled at him. Then, my eyes adjusted, and I saw the neatly folded laundry, clean kitchen, vacuumed rugs, and my son, who was asleep until I woke him. Whoops. FML
Today, when I got home from work I was pretty "in the mood" so I put on some cute undies and a tank top and went to get my boyfriends attention, he was so into his new computer game all I got was a half smile and a pat on the head. FML
Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML
Mama's Boy
Today, my husband answered a FaceTime call from his mother not 30 seconds after sex. I was naked in bed next to him. FML
Today, after having my husband ask if I 'had any plans' for the weekend, and him mentioning that he got me something special, he played his PS4 for hours, ignored me, then finally took a break to hand me a tiny box of chocolates. I can't even be mad because he looked so proud. FML
Today, I received frantic calls and messages from my husband wondering where I was and if I was cheating on him. I was in the same house as him. FML
Maybe he is gay!
Today, my boyfriend got back from a long wrestling tournament. As a nice surprise, I decided to give him a little show over FaceTime. As soon as I stripped down into my bra and underwear, he paused the screen and started surfing the internet for new shoes. FML
What ARE you doing?
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to get out of the shower. Bored, I sent my friend a picture of myself pretending to make out with his bear rug. After the photo shoot, I looked in the doorway to find his dad staring at me. FML
Top comments
Wizardo 34
Sometimes people just don't want to do the secks...
SimplySaraya 9
Priorities. He's got them.
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Comments (78)
Tyler_Posey 18
**** your husband
BitterBetsy 7
I think that was her plan
moodyreallyrocks 27
Sorry OP!!
hussamhasi 22
Why would u be sorry unless youre the husband ? Comeon people
InfiniteSunshine 32
There's a thing called being sorry for their situation, even if it has nothing to do with you.
Wizardo 34
Sometimes people just don't want to do the secks...
Nyattack 14
Sure, but it never hurts to tell your partner that you don't feel up to it rather than completely ignoring them...
ohthebloodygore 16
Unless said partner is a complete asshole with no boundaries who makes idiotic remarks like "but it's sex. You should want to have it". Maybe OP's boyfriend decided ignoring was the best option.
ohthebloodygore 16
Unless said partner is a complete asshole with no boundaries who makes idiotic remarks like "but it's sex. You should want to have it". Maybe OP's boyfriend decided ignoring was the best option.
SimplySaraya 9
Priorities. He's got them.
Imhere4fml 24
And yet many people can't get any while he has it easy.
buttsmcgee 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
This has been me and my husband since Overwatch came out. Maybe try disconnecting the internet. Better luck next time though, op!
ConfusedCat 11
Well, Overwatch is a pretty great game.
splinteredApple 36
Your husband isn't entitled to have sex whenever you want. Sex is important but it's about what both people want.
SecundusSecunda 27
Are you sure your husband is playing Overwatch? Tracer is all over the internet ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
buttsmcgee 11
I know, and I'm not really complaining or demanding sex whenever I want, I just think it's funny how people can get so involved in games that they sometimes "neglect " their private lives.
ohthebloodygore 16
I don't think disconnecting the Internet is the best option here. As a gamer, if someone were to disconnect my internet mid-game, I'd go crazy. This isn't about spending multiple hours neglecting my life. It's about a hobby I enjoy, it's no different from the other hobbies I have in life. Have you tried talking and voicing your opinions like an adult? I dated someone once who apparently hated the amount of time I spent playing video games but would act passive aggressive instead of voicing their thoughts so how was I ever supposed to know? Saying "I want sex" isn't voicing your opinion either.
xXDemonWolfXx 13
The **** it is, literally a team fortress reskin.
trucker2 33
So sit on top of the TV... With vibrator in hand... Ever Xbox needs a little competition..
trucker2 33
Every
SilensMort 3
especially mine.
Tripartita 45
Yeah, sometimes when I get tired of doing things in the order that matters, I put my priorities on shuffle too. It's fun and adds an element of surprise to my life and those in it.
erockinthesuburb 17
Sometimes guys don't want to do the hibbity dibbity too. Sometimes all we want is to sit down and be ******' lazy and zone out from stress for a while.
TheMathMajor 26
That's understandable, but he could have at least let her know he wasn't in the mood.
xninix_fml 36
"hibbity dibbity"
superlloyd 15
risque. not risky.