Today, I fell in love with a girl on the internet, she's great...

By Sidney - 7/1/2009 20:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I fell in love with a girl on the internet, she's great and funny. She says she's 16, but everyone keeps telling me she's only 11 and that I'm a pedophile. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10010

You deserved it

41650

Favorite

Love

Dangling modifier

Breaking Badly

Fake News

By thafinest - 12/10/2009 23:32 - United States

Today, I received a call from a collection agency. Since I had no clue, I was ready to file a police report for stolen identity. I then called my mom only to find out she has been opening new credit cards with my information for 3 years and not paying them. My credit is ruined and I'm only 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46069

You deserved it

2250

Favorite

By Perplexed - 19/1/2013 13:14 - United States - Sioux Falls

Today, someone broke into my car by smashing the driver's side window. I'd be less irritated if they had just used the door handle; the lock has been broken for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33110

You deserved it

3452

Favorite

By Noname - 16/3/2009 20:41 - United States

Today, I was out on a date with a guy. His hot co-worker came to have a beer with us, and I knew my best friend would think he was gorgeous. I wanted to take a picture of him without knowing, so i tried to hold up my phone and pretend to be texting. The flash went off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21228

You deserved it

122742

Favorite

By Ouch - 29/7/2009 05:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that I look better in different kinds of light. I asked him which kind of light I looked best in. His reply? "No light at all." FML

I agree, your life sucks

46140

You deserved it

6781

Favorite

By Anonymous - 5/10/2012 16:40 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, at work, my boss asked me why I wasn't adhering to proper dress code. I pointed out that skinny jeans are in the dress code, to which he replied, "Only if you're skinny." FML

I agree, your life sucks

27223

You deserved it

13343

Favorite

By Therunawaymoh - 11/10/2018 12:00

Today, my maid of honor and best friend of 10 years won't answer my texts and blocked me on social media. This is because last night she and my fiancé got into a huge drunken fight about who loved me more and she stormed off. I get married in 5 hours and I have no idea where she is. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3430

You deserved it

256

Favorite

By Idle_Twin - 17/5/2015 17:53 - United States - Miami

Today, I was finishing my chest workout at the gym when this really cute girl started using the machine next to me. To impress her, I tried lifting a lot of weight on the barbell. It ended up landing on my neck and she had to help me get it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14899

You deserved it

33191

Favorite

By Anonymous - 13/5/2012 22:00 - Canada - Aldergrove

Scammed

Today, after a little detective work, I found out the money that recently went missing from my college fund was transferred by my mother, to her own account. She claims it's to pay a parking ticket. Maybe I'm just stupid, but I didn't know they fined people over $3,500 for a parking violation. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29286

You deserved it

2166

Favorite

By Anonymous - 17/1/2017 09:13

Today, my music students began a lively debate about whether or not a music stand would make a good weapon for the zombie apocalypse. What am I teaching them? FML

I agree, your life sucks

6240

You deserved it

814

Favorite

By Anonymous - 3/9/2017 20:00

Today, while eating s'mores with my boyfriend's family, I misplaced my false tooth. With a team of flashlights and hurt pride, my expensive tooth was found. In dog shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3339

You deserved it

450

Favorite

By KasSmoke - 30/9/2014 02:13 - United States - Justin

Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25314

You deserved it

37629

Favorite

By MBG - 5/6/2009 07:43 - Australia

Today, I had the closing shift at work in a cafe and there was a man and lady left. I made them coffee and started to close up. When the lady finished her coffee she grabbed my arm and said 'I think that man is masturbating' and leaves in a hurry. I had to wait for him to finish before closing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

65368

You deserved it

4293

Favorite

By birthdaygirl - 11/3/2009 03:16 - United States

Today, I decided to get dressed up for school because it's my birthday. I was heading to class in my heels. Then, I rolled my ankle, fell down the muddy hill, pulled a leg muscle, and scratched up my knees. At least ten people saw it. I was wearing a white skirt. Happy Birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks

60006

You deserved it

15099

Favorite

By sober judge - 3/10/2013 03:46 - United States - Enfield

Today, I'm in a military academy with a strict no alcohol policy. My friends drunk call me practically every night to tell me how much fun they are having. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41493

You deserved it

7825

Favorite

By Anonymous - 19/5/2011 03:48 - United States

Today, for the first time all month I felt truly proud and accomplished. I finally figured out how to change the toilet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12836

You deserved it

24034

Favorite

By Kilika - 8/6/2009 00:17 - United States

Today, I came home and found my desk devoid of all paper. Turned out my mom dropped by and wanted to surprise me by cleaning up my work area. She threw away over 7 months worth of irreplaceable original sketches, notes and storylines, thinking they were worthless. My job is a full-time artist. FML

I agree, your life sucks

70348

You deserved it

3804

Favorite

By jshum - 13/9/2016 15:02 - Australia - South Yarra

Today, I bought a new phone. It's shock proof, water proof, you name it. Just not kitten proof, it seems. That's $400 down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13119

You deserved it

1916

Favorite

By Gw - 28/10/2009 19:03 - United States

Today, my fiancée and I were going on our honeymoon. Our flight was delayed by two hours. It landed when our connecting flight to St. Lucia was taking off. The airline said they were holding the flight for us, so we sprinted from D gate to A, in time to watch the plane pull away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38071

You deserved it

2865

Favorite

By Anonymous - 9/9/2015 00:03

Today, I caught two kids passing notes to each other in my class, so I told them to see me afterwards. When one of the kids eventually came up, I noticed he was crying. He looked up at me and sobbed out, "I was trying to make my first friend!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

28315

You deserved it

7599

Favorite

By drummahboi99 - 4/12/2011 01:29 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me while placing her order. I work as a Drive-Thru cashier at McDonalds. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36409

You deserved it

5195

Favorite

By wtf did I do - 2/3/2012 21:15 - United States

Today, I went to help a friend move into her new apartment. We were half-way through when it started to rain, and in my anger I yelled that it's like these things happen just to annoy me. Then we heard the tornado sirens. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26244

You deserved it

4419

Favorite

By cwell88 - 21/6/2015 13:29

Today, my bike was stolen. These things happen so I went to work. On my walk to work a girl pulls up on my bike and says I need to fix the brakes, someone could kill themselves. Hands the bike to me and runs off. Not even 3 minutes pass as police surround me and accuse me of stealing my own bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28619

You deserved it

1758

Favorite

By Losamus - 15/8/2018 23:30

Nice first impression.

Today, I didn't know I had a pill stuck in my throat until I coughed and it flew across the table, narrowly missing the weird guy sitting across from me in the break room. Turns out that weird guy is my new supervisor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2610

You deserved it

425

Favorite

By Unlucky - 4/9/2018 14:30

Today, I received a bill from PayPal stating I owe $350 for an account that's linked to an email that I haven't used since 2015. I can't get into the account because someone hacked it and changed the password and security questions. Customer support is no help because I have no info about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2728

You deserved it

215

Favorite

By AnastasiyaNicholas - 18/2/2012 14:20 - United States

Today, my drunken mother woke up after having passed out and yelled at me for ditching school. It took half an hour to explain that it's 5:00, and I've already been to school. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31590

You deserved it

2023

Favorite

By - 30/8/2020 13:01 - Australia - Liverpool

10 out 10 for execution

Today, I had to squat to retrieve something from the bottom of the cabinet in the bathroom. This caused me to fart and startle myself enough that I jumped and banged my forehead on the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1119

You deserved it

538

Favorite

By GeoKid - 18/3/2013 03:09 - Canada

Today, after six months of writing a 40 page paper criticizing a famous method, I found out the professor who conceived it has transferred to my favorite college to head the department I'm applying to study in. They require I submit the paper with my application. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37007

You deserved it

4919

Favorite

By Anonymous - 22/10/2011 06:10 - United States

Today, I was relaxing at home while my boyfriend played with his hamster. After a while of silence, my boyfriend came over and put his fingers next to my face. Trying to be cute, I stuck his fingers in my mouth and sucked on them. Turns out he was trying to show me how bad hamster pee smells. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19559

You deserved it

53473

Favorite

By why me?? - 7/8/2013 04:21 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was leaving my friends' apartment in my mom's car and I backed into a fire hydrant. I lied and told my mom it was a hit and run. So she called the apartment complex. They had me on video hitting the fire hydrant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22040

You deserved it

59447

Favorite

By KlutzyFarmGirl - 12/6/2018 14:30 - United States

Glamorous...

Today, I went into the farm where I work. Within the first 30 minutes I slipped on a fresh cow pie and broke my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3266

You deserved it

315

Favorite

By Ecolo-girl - 11/3/2016 06:22 - France - Quint

Today, my wife, the budding environmentalist, who is also 6 months pregnant, threatened to leave me because according to her I'm responsible for the world's deforestation. I'd only drawn her a picture of her with our baby-to-be. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21913

You deserved it

1942

Favorite

By types - 2/3/2012 15:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided he is going to narrate everything I do. I can't get him to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25990

You deserved it

3604

Favorite

By Missy - 9/9/2009 20:16 - United States

Today, I was sitting on a park bench with my very elderly grandfather while listening to music at a low volume. Suddenly, he turned to me and said very loudly, "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AIDS!" I received strange looks from everyone because he mistook my ear buds for a hearing aid. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42804

You deserved it

4591

Favorite

By Anonymous - 1/12/2010 10:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to take a short cut driving through the snow. I skidded to avoid an oncoming car and ended up in someone's garden, inches from their brand new extension. The house belonged to a police officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10315

You deserved it

31801

Favorite

By fuckedbyahipster - 15/6/2013 16:13 - Finland

Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40572

You deserved it

2869

Favorite

By mariama - 23/1/2013 17:45 - United States

Today, I visited my family. Over the course of 2 hours, my brother punched me, and my mom slapped me across the face after drinking way too much wine. When I started gathering my things to leave, my mom started crying about how I don't visit enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37845

You deserved it

3105

Favorite

By happyturtle - 1/9/2013 09:57 - Croatia

Today, my friend told me she turned down a job as a babysitter because she didn't want to be secretly videotaped, as she knew the people had a nanny cam. I wasn't aware of this when I took that same job a few nights ago and asked my boyfriend to come by. We had sex on their couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29295

You deserved it

100796

Favorite

By secretpornstar - 13/6/2011 19:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out the reason my boyfriend had been encouraging me to send him 'personal' videos was so he could sell them online to porn websites. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51408

You deserved it

19304

Favorite

By minette08 - 29/1/2010 21:38 - United States

Today, I discovered that the seal on my driver's door is defective. I made this discovery when I got rained on while I was getting my car washed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24002

You deserved it

3049

Favorite

By fatgirl - 16/5/2010 04:08 - United States

Today, I was eating pizza with my boyfriend and my friends. I was laughing and talking and went for another piece when my boyfriend grabbed my wrist and said that I had had enough. My friends all backed him up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40863

You deserved it

10629

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Chwis88 | 0

#46121 - Friday 20 March 2009 23:36

don't worry about it my roommates make fun of me all the time cause i was dating a girl who was 17 and i was 19, just cause i was in university and she was in high school. it didn't matter to me though because i really liked her, plus in canada the age of consent is 14

By I3atman | 0

#2740661 - Thursday 23 June 2011 6:02

Yes.

COMMENTS

By Cloudy_fml | 0

#1743 - Friday 13 February 2009 3:59

Haha @ #4

wildboyzrule | 7

#4356519 - Thursday 26 April 2012 3:57

What did #4 say???

StiffPvtParts | 43

#6397981 - Monday 31 August 2015 2:51

Well, we'll never know for sure, but if I had to guess, I'd say that it was probably a Chris Hansen "to catch a predator" reference : )

By dickinabox | 0

#7458 - Thursday 26 February 2009 3:01

@ 4:
I don't want to take a seat!
Take a seat.
How is he doing that!?

Darraghscoot | 0

#974861 - Tuesday 6 April 2010 2:08

lol at southpark quote:)

By 0___0 | 9

#9208 - Saturday 28 February 2009 11:30

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

countrykitchenbu | 0

#1032733 - Wednesday 16 June 2010 22:12

yeah, I doubt that your fucking with older guys on the internet could possibly lead to any problems in their lives or yours

By elfknight | 0

#10762 - Monday 2 March 2009 8:18

Technically, 16 would be a hebophile, not a pedophile.

nuts_in_your_fac | 1

#1057577 - Saturday 3 July 2010 12:16

true.

evilplatypus | 38

#5604237 - Tuesday 30 July 2013 1:07

Yes, except apparently she's 11, not 16.

By Kizzah | 0

#11403 - Monday 2 March 2009 21:28

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/To_Catch_a_Predator

Read.

By 3milyzabc | 0

#15032 - Wednesday 4 March 2009 23:36

LOL @ #5

By CaseyBaby413 | 0

#15266 - Thursday 5 March 2009 1:16

#4 = Perfect, lol!

By fuckitt | 0

#25040 - Tuesday 10 March 2009 22:08

my mate met sum1 online called dinos wen she was 16 nd he was 18 nd he dumped her cus his mates sed she was 11..are you him?

lolfood | 24

#4483196 - Saturday 26 May 2012 7:10

Lol grammer how u do grammer

By Elleluvssnow | 0

#30870 - Saturday 14 March 2009 4:34

i love meeting guys on the internet!!! lol

By patrickhb | 0

#37109 - Tuesday 17 March 2009 10:13

I'm in an internet relationship as well, and couldn't be happier. I'm 17, she's 15. That's only a difference of one school year. And I'm willing to wait forever for her. Does that make me a paedophile, in a country where the age of consent is 16?

I3atman | 0

#2740661 - Thursday 23 June 2011 6:02

Yes.

Littlebrraatt | 14

#2827842 - Wednesday 6 July 2011 0:10

No it doesnt. Only if u have sex with her before she is 16.

PhishloverA | 14

#5025301 - Wednesday 10 October 2012 7:28

Wrong #77, pedophiles are people who are attracted to real little kids and 15 isn't little to a 17 year old