Today, I fell asleep on the couch. My parents didn't wake me up, went to bed and set our burglar alarm. If I trip a motion sensor, a siren will go off. The motion sensor in my living room is pointed directly at me and I have to pee. It's been 2 hours. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to find that I had slept through my house getting robbed. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
Today, I installed motion sensor lights in my house to save on energy. When I laid down in bed, I saw the lights turn on from downstairs to the kitchen. I live alone. FML
Today, I'm staying in a hotel where the lights are automatic. They turn on when something moves and turn off when everything is still. I'm a sensitive sleeper and I move in my sleep, so the light wakes me up. It's currently 2 a.m. and all together I've gotten about 20 minutes of sleep. FML
Today, I finally managed to sleep, after two days of being kept awake by the miniature floodlights my neighbors have installed to scare off burglars. Only a couple of hours into my sleep, I woke up to the sound of their car being broken into. FML
Today, my dad reactivated a digital clock we had lying around, and accidentally set an alarm on it. For 1 a.m.. So guess who went hunting for that noise in the middle of night. And guess who banished the thing to the living room, then forgot about it, and slept on the sofa in said living room. Or tried to. FML
Today, I'm dead on my feet. My flatmate's alarm went off for 20 minutes at 5 a.m., which I heard and he didn't. A car alarm went off outside my window for half an hour at 7 a.m. My building fire alarm went off twice, at 8 and 8:10 a.m. Just let me sleep. FML
Today, after being on vacation for a week, my alarm sounded early in the morning. It scared me so badly I peed myself. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the couch while babysitting. When the kids' parents came home, they made fake crying noises to see if I would wake up. I slept like a baby, and by the time they finally roused me, I'd left a nice drool stain on the armrest. FML
Today, I woke up in a panic to what sounded like a plane about to crash into my house. I was so scared, I peed myself and passed out. It was just my cell phone vibrating under my pillow. FML
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Top comments
yamazumi 8
pff, their fault, would have gotten up anyway.
Rinat_fml 26
I wouldn't hold it in if I were you, it's just a siren, not a cage of lions.
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Comments (87)
BuckNekkid 22
so how did you get to the computer without moving?
MzZombicidal 36
Maybe they have the FML app on their phone?
alicat13 12
just go pee
absolute_ciro 8
Hahahahahhaha
aja1st 2
you know your not a kid anymore when... you fall asleep on the couch and wake up on the couch!! haha
RAUN 8
It is your alarm. Just turn it off after the siren wakes them. Just how did you write your post without setting off the alarm?
MzZombicidal 36
A phone.
theace144 3
that's such bs. set it off and wake their asses up for not being observant.
YellowKettleBell 31
you're not supposed to have the motion sensor on when you're home.
rocketiquette 20
So maybe just get up and turn off the alarm? There's usually a couple moments for someone to disarm it before all hell breaks loose...
JTragedia 7
I would have moved. Their fault they put it on you.
Shadow9876 19
Dude. Just get up and turn the alarm off then rearm it. It's not that difficult to figure out.